The Secrets You Shouldn't Tell

“I just don’t think this is the right way to tell him, ya’know?” you sit on the edge of your bed, a towel wrapped a little too tightly around your waist

“I know sweetie, but we’ve left it long enough. Plus this is the perfect way coz then you can meet the rest of my family at this dinner thing.” Tabitha stands next to you, leaning her weight on your shoulder, before she starts to play with your damp hair.

“This is going to crash and burn.” You sigh, playing with the edge of your towel.

“Ohh c’mon Mikey, you can just like drop it into the conversation or summing.” She begins trailing kisses down the side of your collarbone.

“Ohh yeah. That’ll work. Hi Lee, how are ya mate? How long have we been friends for now? Since we were bout 5 years old, so that’s what? 18 years, ohhh by the way, I’m banging your sister!” you huff sarcastically.

“Well not exactly like that.” She mumbles, tracing shapes on your shoulders with her index fingers. You freeze at the sound of your door bell buzzing in your ears. As you try to stand, Tabitha softly glides her arms around the top of your shoulders and neck and breaths the word ‘no’. You don’t stop getting up; instead you just grip her hands tightly and pull her with you. She instinctively wraps her legs around your waist and you let go of her wrists and grip her feet instead. You and her glide over to the door, like a monkey carrying her young. You habitually squint through the small frosted glass window in the front door.

“Shit!” you utter, almost losing your grip on Tabitha. She lets out a little ‘Wooahh’ before tightening her clasp on you.

“What is it?” she whispers.

“Lee!” you whisper in return, a little coarser then her. You un-necessarily flap around a lot, causing an unwanted loud commotion, before your brain eventually kicks in and you start making useful actions. First, you purposely relinquish your control on Tabitha’s legs and let her slide down from your back. You and she just stare at each other blankly, like school children just about to be caught; you can see in her eyes that she’s just as shaken as you. But then a sort of self assurance crosses her eyes. You furrow your brow in wariness and an arrogant smile tugs at her lips.

“What are you………” your sentence fades away as squint your eyes at her, trying to guess what she’s thinking. She winks at you and lunges for the door.

“Are you crazy?” you ask, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her towards you. She looks up at you, wriggling in your grip.

“What?” she asks innocently.

“Now’s just as good a time as any.” She reasons. You dramatically look down at yourself, clad in only a towel and glance back at her.

“Just, please baby, don’t be awkward.” You plant a kiss on the top of her head and usher her towards the coat cupboard.

“Hey mate,” you greet him.

“Hey, can I have a quick word?” he gestures to enter. Your mind darts to every childish excuse as to why he shouldn’t, yet you fail to come up with a solid reason, well that is with out telling the truth.

“Yeah …. Er sure.” You re-adjust your towel and lead him in.

“Sorry, I would’ve called but I couldn’t get threw, and I was near here, so I thought I might as well drop in.” he fades off into a mumble as he wanders into your small kitchen and slides his bottom onto the work surface. You search your memory as to why your phone isn’t working, and then it floods back to you. Tabitha has a tendency to pull the phone wire out every time she comes over.

“…..Oh errrr yeah it errrmm the wires a bit loose.” A small smile creeps onto your lips.

“So, yeah… what’s up?” you ask, shaking the smile from your mouth.

“…oh yeah, Bens birthdays coming up but he’s away, me and Phil were just wondering if you want to take him out for a couple of beers at the flash new bar Tuesday before he goes?” You ponder it over in your head, before shrugging and nodding a ‘yes’.

“Cool, anyway I’ve gotta run now.” He jumps from the side and pats you on the back before making his exit. You lean, your back against the door and a large sigh escapes you lips.

“Boo” you turn to see Tabitha unfolding herself out from the coat cupboard. You lazily roll your head to see her and extend and arm, an invitation for her to walk towards you.

“You know what?” she questions.

“What?” you ask, kissing the end of her nose.

“You were right.”

“Bout?” you edge her on as she doesn’t seem too set on giving you much information.

“About telling everyone, at this dinner thing.” She says in a small voice.

“Good!” you state triumphantly, kissing her nose again.

“I’m glad you agree. So you won’t mind us telling Lee at Ben’s birthday thing.” Now she kisses you on the nose before heading for the refrigerator.

“NO! No, no, no, no, no.” you chant at her.

*

“You look stunning!” you admire.

“Why thank you kind sir.” She adopts a southern accent and spins around to show off the rest of her cocktail dress, the handkerchief bottom spinning out.

“You know summing?” you start, arching an eyebrow.

“What?” she asks distracted whilst trying to slide on a pair of sling back shoes.

“We could just skip going to this bar and find a nice little restaurant for the two of us.” You suggest softly.

“Nice try. We’re going to this bar and we ARE going to tell Lee about us!” she sees straight through your ploy. You mumble obscenities under your breath as you pull on a blazer.

*

You walk sullenly, a good couple of paces away from Tabitha. You shuffle your shabby converse up the heavily tarmac path as her red satin sling back stilettos, with a cute little bow at the back of the ankle, stride there way on the same track as you. She tugs impatiently at your hand trying to pull you forward, but you just stare, silent remorse gleaming in your eyes.

“What’s that for?!” she turns to face you, slinging your hand from her grip and resting hers on her hips.

“What?” you ask innocently.

“Look, if you don’t want to tell people about us, then say now. Because I’d rather not go through with this if its all for nothing.” She’s on the verge of stamping her foot petulantly. She hopes her tone of voice appears dominant and superior but really is immature and irritable.

“I love it when you’re angry.” You say patronisingly.

“Fuck you!” She spits in a moment of frustration. You watch as she turns on her heel and storms off ahead. You indolently call after her.

“Tab, Tabbie.” You start walking after her.

“Tabitha wait up.” You catch up and pull her to a halt with her arm.

“C’mon, I’m sorry. We shouldn’t be arguing.” You run your thumb round in circles on her arm.

“Well why are you being so damn difficult?” she sighs.

“Sorry, it’s just I can see this going shit side up. And well…… it wouldn’t be the first time Lee’s going to floor me.”

“He won’t punch you.” She tries to reassure but you seem less then convinced.

“No, he won’t punch you. Me, i'm done for” you half joke.

*

You greet Ben with a friendly hug and do the same to Phil. Stepping back from the two you stand arm in arm with Tabitha.

“Tabbie, what you doing here? Not that I'm complaining.” Phil enquires. You and her turn to each other and take a deep breath in before facing them again.

“Well…. Me and Tabbie are sort of an item.” You hold your breath in anticipation of there answer.

“That’s great.” Ben bent down and hugged Tabitha’s small frame. You sigh in relief; at least you have the support of your two friends.

“Awww…… ohh wait, Lee’s going to kill you!” Ben realised.

“I know!” you exclaim. Tabitha slaps Ben on the arm before narrowing her eyes at you.

“Is he here?” you whisper hoarsely.

“No, no not yet. He just rang and said he’d be a little late.”

“So it gives us time to leg it?” you joke again. Well……… half joke.

“Michael! For the last time, if you don’t want to do this, we wont!” She spits through gritted teeth. You know she’s serious because she called you ‘Michael’.

“No I do, sorry I’m just messing around, baby girl.” You swoop in and kiss her softly.

“Wooahh wooaah woah woaahhh. We’ll have none of that you two. I’ve watched you grow up from a little girl, you’re like MY fucking sister.” Phil warned Tabitha, who in turned just rolled her eyes and wondered off to the bar, you closely following.

The conversation between the four of you staggered on, with you nervously checking your watch and drumming on the table with your fingers.

“Hey, Hey.” Lee unexpectedly pats you on the back from behind causing you to almost chock on the beer your swigging.

“Woah sorry there Mikey.” He apologises.

“Ohh no I didn’t know you were here yet.” You fumble like an idiot with your words. You thank God that Tabitha had gone to visit the bathroom, well at least for now. Lee nods in an understanding manner and turns to Ben.

“Big Ben, the big 24. Oldest out of the lot of us. Another six years and you’ll be 30.” Lee teased.

“Another 10 after that and you’ll be 40.” Phil pitched in. All the while you sit jiffiling uncomfortably.

“Tabbie, what are you doing here?” Lee finally catches Tabitha walking towards them. She doesn’t speak, instead she just smiles sweetly at her brother and carries on walking until she stands behind you, sliding her hand around your waist as you sit on the tattered bar stool. You flinch a little and hope Lee hasn’t noticed, but as the conversation between you all goes dead, you know he has. Now you’re thinking what to do. You could pretend like nothings happened, but you know it has. You could get up and act as if that’s the most absurd thing and that she’s just done it out of the blue, but you know that would hurt her and you love her too much to do that. Wait! Love? When did love ever enter the scene? It was a bit of fun for the both of you, but when you weren’t looking, love seemed to have sneaked in and put its feet firmly under the table. But what strikes you the most isn’t that you love her but the fact that you’re not scared about loving her. So there’s only one thing to do. Step up. Step up to the plate and bite the bullet. You slide of the stool and in-tangle your arms with hers again.

“…. She’s here with me.” You say finally, kissing her forehead. Lee eyes dart to you, then to Tabitha and then to your arms bound together. You swear you can hear the clogs turning inside his head, until he finally comes across an explanation that fits the puzzle. His eyes widened and rage crosses his face. Instinctively, you shift in front of Tabitha, shielding her. You don’t know why, Lee would never hurt her, but it just seems to fit the occasion.

“Get. The fuck. Away. From her.!” Lee growled slowly, pacing his words. He starts to stride towards you, but quickly Phil slides his broad frame in between you and your soon to be predator.

“Lee, just calm down we can-“ Lee narrowed his eyes and quickly silenced your savour.

“Ok or not whatever” Phil mumbles quickly.

“Lee, mate, c’mon.” you try your hardest to pacify him.

“Tabbi, tell me this isn’t true?” Lee demands, a little too dramatically, not taking his eyes from you.

“Jesus, Lee. Grow up; I’m a big girl now.” She spits

“Whoooeee, fuck!!!” you cry as you clutch your jaw, Lee towers above, rubbing his sore knuckles.

“I’m going to fucking kill you!” he makes another launch towards you, but this time Tabitha pulls you out the way and stands firmly in front of her sibling.

“LEE!!!” she bellows.

“What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you just be happy for me? Huh?” Tabitha pushes roughly against Lee’s chest. The sight of Tabitha and her 5’3 frame squaring up to her older brother, who is a good foot taller then her, would be almost comical, if you weren’t in so much pain. Tabitha seems to have tamed Lee, but you’re still on edge. Lee’s a placid person the majority of the time, but if you push the right buttons, you’re more likely to survive a feast with the hounds of hell then spend a minute in the same room with Lee and his wrath.

“Tabbi, this is just something me and Michael have to sort out, ok?” Lee makes yet another attempt to by-pass his sister, but his plan is foiled once again. Tabitha seized Lee’s wrist and yanked him out of the small bar, behind her. You’re left, relieved to be away from Lee but anxious as to what will happen next.

“You ok mate?” you zone back into the world around you, to see Phil checking your face over. You stare vacantly at him for a second; your mouth hung a little open.

“No, err…….. yeah…. I ….err ….he.” you mumble nonsense whilst trying to push Phil away from you and move towards the exit.

“Mike, no. This is between them.” There it is again, that confused vacant stare, your eyes a little wild.

“And me” you break away and amble towards them, stopping a little short of the door.

“It’s just…. You’re my baby sister.” You hear Lee reason.

“Yeah, so surely what makes me happy should make you happy.”

“Course it does, but… its Mike, I mean he’s got a heart of gold but, its just weird. I know how 23 year old guys think, I am one. And I know he’s a nice guy but I also know what he’s like with the girls he’s screwing, and now…… you’re that girl.” Even from behind the safety of the bar door, you can see how unbelievably uncomfortable it is making Lee having to say this. And you can sort of understand, Tabitha is his baby sister, and to him she’s still just the innocent little girl who he used to play hide and seek with, and now she’s all grown up.

“That’s really sweet.” You hear her coo, before playfully punching him in the arm.

“Anyway, you don’t have to worry; he’s a really gentle lover.” Tabitha has always known exactly what buttons to push to get the right reaction out of Lee.

“NO, NO, NO! I don’t want to hear that. La, la, la, la.” Lee firmly plants his index fingers in his ears and starts to chant to block out what his sisters telling him. You chuckle at the sight of them.

“Come here you.” Tabitha enrols Lee into a hug. You take your cue and finally emerge out from behind the door and creep up slowly to them. Tabitha catches sight of you and holds her hand out. You take her dainty hand in yours and beam a 1000 watt smile, but its turns into a sort of crooked smile as your jaw has started to swell up. Lee pulls away from the embrace and turns to you, he looks you dead in the eye and you are deeply confused as to whether he’s going to kiss you or kill you with his bare hands.

“If you ever, ever! Cause her to shed as little as one tear in pain, I will nail you to the God damn wall and break your fucking legs, do you understand me?” you’re frozen to the spot but manage to nod your head in agreement. But soon after, his ice cold demeanour melts and he pulls you into an embrace.

“Oh, and the same goes for you to missy!” Lee shakes and accusative finger at Tabitha.


The End