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My blog - not sure what this will be like yet! |
| Wanting to start a web log, although I have always been terrible at keeping a diary. It feels like something I should do as I lose many ideas throught not writing them down or developing them. Here's hoping that having this space here, and on display will motivate me. |
| I'm never sure what I actually want to achieve when I send out demos. I kind assume something will happen - but it is invariably something I have no idea how to deal with. I sent some music to a record label in London (very close to where I work in fact) and the amusing reply was that they loved it, thought it was some of the best stuff they'd heard......but did not want to work with me. I'm sure many writers and would-be's have had similar responses. The intriguing thing is that you can't tell if they are just being polite or simply acting strangely. Either way you can't act on it - it's a positive rejection that leaves you no wiser. Or any nearer to your goal. Same with looking for venues to play at - similar to finding places to send stories for publication....why should they pick me? Even if my "product" is great? When I write, the result in usually some bizarre hybrid of horror and surreal sci-fi, often with a musical theme (such as the protagonist being a musician or composer etc) and I look at and think "Where the hell could I send that?" Hmmm, why's and where's. No answers...It all seems a bit down and lost today doesn't it? Funny, because I'm actually in a fine mood! Setting my thoughts on paper always makes me sound depressive! I'm really an optimist. I think it's because I ask myself a lot of questions - maybe it's time I stopped asking myself and just put my work out there and let others decide! Time to let my editing voice go and allow my real voice some exposure! |
| It is where it all starts. That feeling of the future stretching ahead, spaces to be filled, notes to be summoned and structures to be built. What will the tone be? The subject? That terrible gut feeling that it will be boring or nonsensical to others. I'm much more easygoing about writing music, probably because I have written more music than fiction, but possibly also because it is less literally precise. To improvise creates a work that takes as long to experience as it did to create - this is not possible with the written word. Music comes from somewhere very different, although I am sure my musical mind and my, ahem, "literary" one overlap to some degree. I have more trust in my innate ability as a musician than as a writer, and have received compliments about my music and writing. Perhaps I just need to write more...the amount of time it took me to start writing any good music brings on an overwhelming exhaustion. There is a chance, I suppose, that the music practice may have somehow set my mind on the right path for writing fiction - I have a feel for structure and timing, flow, rhythm and syntax, but I fear it may be a rather unorthodox style, where word and meaning do not necessarily co-exist. The sound and feel need to be right. The details of a text, however, are not lost in time as a stray note in a melody can be, so I should be less reckless as a writer than I am as a composer. |
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