personal blog " I hope "

Ok here is hoping I get started on my blog and become consistant with it. I love being on my computer and Im is a good source of entertainment. As for journaling, I have always been an ink and paper gal. My friends and family call me a stationary fluff. Translated! I adore pens, fancy pens mostly fountain, cartridge or beautiful dipping pens. Stationary, the prettier the better. Journal books, Oh my I have more unstarted, some magnificant journal books that someone like myself would die for. I love and have a number of wax seals and varying colored wax sticks for them. They are audacious!!!!! Anyway. I just figured out how to open a folder and thought I would use this "find" to begin my blog and I only hope it works to my liking.






3 November 2005

Ok so this is , to my understanding my online journal. I guess it is time to journal.

There is so much happening in my life and so much still undone. There is first and foremost the proccess to adopt three little girls from Russia. Sometimes we think they will never come home. Yet, we already love them and so we keep putting one foot in front of the other on this incredible up and down roller coaster ride.

We made it successfuly through the home study and also managed to get INS approval despite our young and dumb years. We thought this would ease the anxiety we were feeling as we walked through these scary phases. Forget that. Just waiting with no steps to work on is by far the worste. We fill in time with the things we believe are right to do. We re-did their bedrooms Rex built a sand boxand filled it with 1500pounds of sand. This should give you an idea of the size of it. We took Russian classes ~fast tracked~ incredibly difficult but we have the tools to keep learning so we can communicate while they (the girls) are learning English.

Rexy is doing very well with learning Russian. I am hoping to catch on better despite the fact that memorizing has been horrific. Where has my memory gone? I am determined. I will "get it" no matter how hard it is.

I have been doing well with staying in touch with sponsor #1, Frances. We mostly e-mail since she has a binding schedule of her own due to health issues and the treatment for them. I am good at keeping up with e-mail anyway and enjoy it. I now also have a 2nd Sponsor. She is Rosemarie. A very active and positive lady. How we got so close was an accident but I find I am most lucky to have her in my life. I took a leap of faith and did a 4th step using a format I happenedupon, here, in the internet.It was interesting and thought provoking and the faith issue is that I gave it to Rosemarie to just read. I figured this would be easier than we could discuss whatever details she may have felt warranted further discussion. We still haven't gotten, formally, to the 5th step but we talk a lot and many things resolve themselves just in the course of conversation.



I think about DAddy so very often. My fears overwhelm me to the point, sometimes, that I just can't call him. The biggest thing is Mommy just passed over three years ago and Daddy recently finished the treatment for cancer. Cancer is what took my Mom from us. Daddy is just biding his time waiting so patiently to join her and it is traumatizing to my sister and me. Loosing Mommy was and still is so heavy on my heart. If I loose Daddy, too, my family which is primarily in Philly won't just be distant it will probably become non-existant. It is so difficult to understand how a family so nuclear and tight could have become so segmented. It is as though the family fiber began to unravel when my Pop died. It isn't that it started then but rather that the elders became more vocal and began to miss the kind and considerate way of interacting that was a must in our family. They no longer had a reason, I guess, to be content with covert gossip.

Time to get dinner started. I will continue when I am ready to settle down again.




4 November 2005


Oh happy day!!!! I have been without an oven since mid July. After loosing 5 cakes
( I bake alot) I realized that although the oven felt like it heated it was only enough to fool me. It was a dead appliance. For a while, we let it go till we were certain of some heftier bills still needing to be made for the adoption proccess. finally, the first week of September, we ordered and scheduled the installation of the new, much missed, oven.

Talk about Murphy's Law!!!! Well, the oven arrived and when the electrician picked it up, it was "inconceivably damaged" !! Nice huh??? Re order oven. Oven arrives to wharehouse. electrician picks it up and brings it for installment. this is the same electrician we paid to be assured the specs were correct to match hole in wall and oven. the same electrician that the appliance gave us. Oh happy day!!! The oven doesn't fit the hole!!!! Back to the company wait for a new correctly sized oven. I am hot sure if I want to cry or cuss.

Happy, beautiful, Autumn morning, my oven arrived. It fit!! Not a scratch on the beautiful white and shiny appliance sitting like a treasure in the once gaping hole in my kitchen wall! I think I will make a beef burgandy. Most extravagent for a Friday dinner. Most deserving. Thank you. I think I will go stare at my oven before I go for dinner supplies.