Beliefs of a Bed

At last! The twins are off to school! What part of "Don't jump on the bed" do those little demons not understand? Maybe they'll find out in Fourth Grade next year. Do I look like a trampoline? Oh my aching springs!

Why couldn’t I be a sofa? Or a love seat? And have people sit on me all day, instead of constant abuse!? Jumping on me all day, tossing and turning all night, and then sometimes- an Incident, then Mom has to come in and change the sheets!

Maybe instead of boys I could get a little girl to sleep on me instead? Piled high full of pillows and stuffed toys!

Hey, Mom is here to change my sheets! Oh I hope I get the soft fire engine ones!

I'm getting flipped too, Wheeeeeeee! And again, WhooHooooo! That feels soooo good.

Oh, these sheets look new. Soft! Very soft! But only one color, I wonder what’s going on.

Hmmm, very strange. She’s cleaning up all the toys and getting out the vaccuum cleaner. This is new. Well I’m all for this, I feel like a new bed. I think it's time for my morning nap.


Huh? What are those things slapping down on my new sheets! Leather? And who are these strange people? They look kind of like Mom, but wrinklier. Hey! Maybe they are going to sleep on me tonight? Hmmm, it's got to be an improvement over the twins.


Hey! Whoa there! Where are the pajamas?! Are you sure you should be doing that? I’ve seen the Mom kiss like that! Oh, oh, the lights just went out.

Hey! NO BOUNCING ON THE BED!!!!!!