The Summoner - Alternate Canterbury Tale

The Summoner’s Tale- My version

As the Summoner began telling his tale he suddenly looked confused, as if searching for part of his upcoming lie, as was his custom.
As the summoner started to speak he said, “Before I begin to tell you the tale of this man, let me briefly describe to you this man’s family.”
“There was a husband from Cambridge who had been married to his wife for fifteen long years. He was a merchant who worked long, hard hours to provide well for his family. This man was thirty-four years of age and he showed every bit of it on his face. His work had also diminished his legs as they were very weak now. His wife was a wonderfully joyous woman who enjoyed all that her husband provided for her. She bought nothing but the finest things and was happy to spend the money for them. This wife had been chaste until they were happily wed those fifteen long years ago, but since then she had developed a wondering eye of sorts. Although her husband could never prove it, he had suspected her straying many times in the past. They also had two children. Their son, their firstborn, was almost a man at fifteen years of age. The daughter was thirteen and behaved very much like her mother.”
The summoner then says, “Now that I have given you some understanding as to this man’s situation I can now begin my story with a clean conscience.”
One day a few years ago, the husband was at work near the docks when he saw his daughter disappear behind the docks with a man whom he did not recognize. The merchant thought it best to go see if his daughter was being attacked or held against her will by this man, so he headed towards where they had gone. As soon as he had turned the corner at the docks his daughter spotted him. His daughter got up off of this man and started screaming at the merchant, telling him that it was none of his business what was going on. The merchant then said, “Where did you learn such behavior?” To which the daughter replied, “From my mother! Now go away!” Well this made the husband even more suspicious of his wife than normal since he knew that his children had never seen him and his wife together. The merchant wondered out loud, “With whom? I wonder with whom?”
After the merchant had been scolded by his daughter he figured he should go home immediately to find out how his daughter had seen his wife with a man. When he got home he walked into his house and noticed that nobody seemed to be home. Then he heard some rustling from upstairs. Then the husband yelled to his wife, “Come down here right now!” To which the wife replied, “You will not suuuummon me i-i-i-in such a ma-a-anner!” His wife sounded strange so he started up the stairs to see what was wrong with her. When he got up the stairs he saw his wife firmly planted on top of another man! The husband screamed, “What are you doing?” To which the wife replied, “Go away,” as if he was just an annoyance to her. The husband was now furious with anger. He reached for the man, but the man got away from the merchants wife and ran across the room. The wife, looking disappointed, told the man to come back to her bed. This set the husband into a rage. The merchant started to run for the man, who was standing naked by a window, but the man jumped out of the window. The husband was not about to jump out of the window with his weakened legs. Once the husband came to the realization that the man was not going to be caught by him on that day he turned to his wife. As he turned to his wife she struck him with the candle holder that was beside the bed. This caused the merchant to start bleeding from his head which was now covered in hot wax from the candle holder. The merchant went into a rage. He grabbed the mattress that the wife was sitting naked on and shoved it into her face, throwing her off of the bed and onto the floor. The husband then grabbed the departed man’s shoe and beat his wife with it until she stopped moving. The entire time he was hitting her he was screaming, “If you need that man so badly, here, have a part of him!” Once the man was done beating his wife he calmed down enough to see what had happened. He then realized that he had beaten his wife to death with the man’s shoe. This presented some problems for the husband. The first of which was that he had a dead body in his house that could cause him many problems. He then decided that he needed help disposing of his wife’s body so he called upon his son to help him. When his son saw his mother’s body he said to his father, “It’s about time. I was wondering how long it would take you to realize what she has been doing behind your back.” The husband looked dumbfounded at his son, not fully believing what he had just heard. A few minutes passed without either of them saying a word when finally the son said, “Well let’s get her out of here.” So they wrapped her in a blanket and took her down the stairs and placed her in a cart that was just outside the door. The husband then wheeled her to his business by himself.
As he arrived at the docks near his business with his wife’s body in toe his daughter saw him and approached. When she got near she could tell that something was bleeding from inside the cart so she came close enough to see what it was. She then lifted up the blanket that her mother was wrapped in and to her horror, saw that it was indeed her mother dead in the blanket. Seeing this caused her to shriek. At this very moment is when the merchant saw his daughter. As he turned to her she screamed, “What have you done?” After she said this she turned and ran away. The merchant hoped she was just going home to tell her brother what had happened, but somehow he knew that she wasn’t since she was very much her mother’s daughter. The merchant then weighted his dead wife’s body and threw her off of the end of the docks. Nobody was ever there that time of day so he figured he was safe at that point. After that he wheeled the cart back to his business and went back to work.
About three hours had passed when he saw the man that was with his wife come into his business. The man was fairly well dressed now and there were people with him, one of them was the merchant’s daughter. The man then informed the merchant that he had been dispatched to bring the man to court for killing his wife. The merchant told the summoner, “I shall go nowhere with you.” To this the summoner replied, “You shall go and you shall go now.” The man then began to think of the things that people had told him about summoners and how they could be persuaded to forget about a summons. After thinking about this for a moment he asked the summoner, “What do you want from me?” The summoner told him, “I already had what I want from you and now you shall be tried for your sins.” The angry merchant then said, “Would you forget me for some money?” “No,” was the reply. Then the merchant offered, “How about my house?” The summoner then said, “That is a tempting offer but I shall pass in the name of justice.” The merchant thought hard for a minute and finally he knew he had the correct thing to give the man when he said, “Would you take my business?” The summoner just laughed at the merchant as he said this, obviously rejecting the offer. The summoner then got a wicked smile on his face and said, “There is one way that I will not take you to the court.” The merchant excitedly said, “Yes what is it?” The summoner then told the merchant of his deal when he said, “Well, first you must give me your business.” As soon as the summoner said that the merchant signed his business away immediately. Then the summoner continued, “Then, you will give your house to me.” Again, the merchant signed his possession away immediately. Then the summoner got a wicked look on his face and said, “Now you will take your son with you and leave your daughter for me as your wife was for me.” The summoner, pleased with himself, then remembered that the merchant’s daughter was there with them and turned to look at her. She was smiling at the summoner while dreamily admiring him. When the merchant finally spoke he said, “No. I cannot do that. She is my daughter and you shall not have her.” The summoner let lose a lively belly laugh and said, “You fool, I already have her. Now you that you have nothing left for me to take from you what would you offer me? You would be useless as a servant and I do not need you in any other capacity. However, I am an honorable man of my word and I shall not take you to the court.” At this the merchant groveled, “Thank you, thank you kind sir.” The summoner found this amusing and said, “Sir I have told you that I would not take you to the court and I will not break my word, however, I am not the only summoner in this room that was sent for you. Now that you have nothing to offer these men what will you do?” When the merchant heard this he tried to run from behind his counter to the rear door of his business. When he opened the door his ran into his son, who was coming in through the door, and they both fell to the ground. This gave the summoner and the men that were with him ample time to catch him and surround him and his son. When the merchant and his son stood the summoner said, “I am an honorable man and I must take my leave now.” He then departed with the merchant’s daughter on his arm like a trophy. The other summoner that was there then said to the man, “You will now be taken before the court.” Then that summoner began to lead the way, but he stopped before the rest of the men moved an inch and said, “Do not forget to bring his son also since they must stay together.”
Then next morning they were both hanged after standing trial before the court. The merchant’s daughter and the honorable summoner had both testified as to what had happened as though they had seen it themselves. After they testified they walk hand in hand to the summoner’s new home.