My Favorite Quotes

Short men are like bonsai trees, small but beautiful. But, who the heck dates a bonsai tree? ~Elli

“He was twitching!”-Legolas; The Two Towers

“I am no man!”- Eowyn; The Return of the King

“Not the beard!” - Gimli; The Fellowship of the Ring

“They have a cave troll!” - Boromir; The Fellowship of the Ring

Westly: "To the pain," means the first thing you lose will be your feet below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.

Prince Humperdinck: And, then my tongue I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time; a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by the right . . .

Prince Humperdinck: And, then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it.

Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever.

Inigo Montoya:
I admit it, you are better than I am.
Westley:
Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya:
Because I know something you don't know.
Westley:
And, what is that?
Inigo Montoya:
I am not left handed.

Inigo Montoya:
Who are you?
Westley:
No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya:
I must know.
Westley:
Get used to disappointment.

“My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”- Ingo Montya; The Princess Bride

Westley:
Give us the gate key.
Yellin:
I have no gate key.
Inigo Montoya:
Fezzik, tear his arms off.
Yellin:
Oh, you mean this gate key.

“It's not that bad . . . well, I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.”- Westly; The Princess Bride

“As you wish.”- Westly; The Princess Bride


Vizzini:
No more rhymes, now, I mean it!
Fezzik:
Anybody want a peanut?

Pippin: [from extended version]
[to himself]
Pippin: *WHAT* were you thinking, Peregrin Took? What service could you offer to such a mighty lord of men?
Faramir: It was a great gesture. Good intentions should not be checked by cold council. So, you have joined the tower guard?
Pippin: I didn't think they would find a uniform to fit me.
Faramir: This once belonged to a young, foolish boy, who spent more time slaying dragons than doing his studies.
Pippin: This was yours?
Faramir: Yes. My father had it made for me.
Pippin: Well, I'm taller than you were then. Though I'm not likely to grow anymore... except sideways.
[both laugh]

"Even the smallest one may change the course of the future"-Galadriel; The Fellowship of the Ring

"I would have gone with you to the end, into the very fires of Mordor"- Aragorn; The Fellowship of the Ring

"If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword"- Aragorn; The Fellowship of the Ring

The Donkey: Hey, you're a GIRL dragon!

Donkey: I've got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it!

Donkey: Did you hear that? She called me a "noble steed." She thinks I'm a steed.

Donkey: Oh no! I can't feel my toes. [Looks down and yelps.] I don't have any toes![Sits down.] I need a hug.

Lord Farquaad: Some of you are going to die, but its a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

Donkey: Ooh, this is gonna be so much fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', I'm makin' waffles

Donkey: I ain't never met someone who didn't like parfait. You never hear someone say, "Hey, you want some parfait?" "Hell no, I don't want no parfait!"

Shrek: Ogres are like onions.
Donkey: What, 'cause they stink?
Shrek: No...
Donkey: 'Cause they make people cry? Shrek: No...!
Donkey: You mean if you leave them out they get brown and start growing little white hairs?Shrek: NO! They have LAYERS. There's more to us underneath. So, ogres are like onions.
Donkey: Yeah, but nobody LIKES onions

Donkey: This would be SO much easier if I weren't color-blind.

Look to my coming at first light of the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East.~Gandalf; The Two Towers

"You can learn all there is to about hobbits in a month, and yet after a HUNDRED years... they can still surprise you."-Gandalf; The Fellowship of the Ring

"We could let her do it"-Gollum; The Two Towers

"That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for. "-Sam; The Two Towers

"Po-ta-toes. Boil 'em, mash 'em, put 'em in a stew. Nice big golden chips with a piece of fried fish. "-Sam; The Two Towers

"Some that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be so eager to deal out death and judgement. Even the wisest cannot see all ends."-Gandalf; The Fellowship of the Ring

"Fly, you fools"-Gandalf; The Fellowship of the Ring

"He said don't you lose him Samwise Gamgee. And I don't intend to."-Sam; The Fellowship of the Ring

Legolas: Final count, 42.

Gimli: 42, now that's not a bad score. I myself am sitting happily on 43.

[Legolas pulls out an arrow and shoots the Urukhai body Gimli is sitting on]

Gimli: He was already dead.

Legolas: He was twitching!

Gimli: He was twitching because he's got my axe embedded in his nervous system!


Sam: It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it'll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there's some good in the world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for

Merry: Pippin, everyone knows, I'm the tall one, you're the short one.

Witch King: No man can kill me!

Eowyn: [pulling off her helmet] I am no man! [Kills him.]

Sam: Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me.

Elrond: No, indeed. It is hardly possible to separate you even when he is summoned to a secret Council and you are not.

Bilbo: I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

You Know You're Addicted to LotR When...

You start quoting from the movie as part of regular conversation.

You like to tell your mom that you are hungry by quoting: "Merry, I'm hungry."

She used to just laugh, but now she says, "What would you like to eat, Pippin?"

You continually ask your parents for second breakfast.

All the staff at your local cinema knows you by your first name and even before you open your mouth to speak, they say "Ticket for 'Fellowship of The Ring?'"

You hate Burger King food, butyou ate nothing else for a month to get the toys.

You've crammed up your computer's memory by downloading every single screensaver from www.LordoftheRings.net

You wander around the house in a knee length nightie, pyjama trousers and an unfastened dressing gown (to give you a train). You are trying to be an elf, and actually manage to forget that the nightie is blue with dolphins, the trousers have teddies on and the dressing gown is tartan.

Your Lord of the Rings shirt has not yet met the washing machine.

You don't have enough money to buy groceries for the next week before payday, yet you charge ?50 on your credit card to get a three year charter membership in the official LOTR fan club. Who needs food anyway?

You refer to parts of your town as parts of Middle-Earth.

You wear hobbitish clothing as part of your normal wardrobe.

You sometimes let your hair go curly after a wash, and then run around the house in bare feet yelling "I'm a hobbit!"

You hate it when Elves are only thought of as 'Santa's little helpers' and have tried to explain the difference between Santa-elves and Syrian Elves to your 5-year old cousins.

You speak in Quenya just to annoy your friends.

You refer to regular elephants as oliphaunts.

While buttering a piece of bread, you suddenly think of Bilbo (remember when he was talking to Gandalf about feeling tired) saying that he felt 'like butter spread over too much bread.'

You renamed your car the Wraith-mobile.

You have a replica of The One Ring.

You are beginning to resemble a panda due to the fact that you've stayed up until 2 am reading and re-reading the great books.

You actually managed to read the Silmarillion without being tempted to give up on this whole middle earth malarkey.

You now have a lifetime fear of black horses!

You haven't removed the soundtrack from your CD player since you bought it.

You have sssudenly developed a hisssing lisssp every time you sssay the letter ssss.

You have looked both on the net and in the phone book to see if archery and sword fighting lessions are offered in your area.

You have begun calling your husband / wife / girlfriend/ boyfriend / animal or kid my precioussss.

You happily traveled over an hour to the next town to see "it" because that theater has a better sound system than the one 5 minutes down the road.

You have called every theatrical or specialty makeup company in town looking for pointy ear or hairy feet prosthetics.

You've worn your plastic "one ring" that came on your Legolas bookmark so much the gold is completely worn off.

You've begun drafting a letter to the Webster's dictionary people requesting that they include "Ringers" in their next edition.

At Christmas time relatives find you chatting with the tree and sharing eggnog draughts

Single ads with the description," short plump and big hairy feet" seem much more appealing.

You know The LoTR history better then your family history.

You have a mouse named Frodo, a bird named Gollum, and a dog named Gandalf. And that cat that keeps coming around to be petted is Legolas.

You know Elvish better then English.

Whenever something goes wrong, it's Sauron's fault.

When you sing in the shower, it's always about Gil-Galad or hobbit walking songs...

You know everything about Middle Earth geography, but you can't get someone from your house to the ice cream parlor. Now the nearest movie theater, that is a different story.

You think the names of the 7 dwarves from Snow White are: Gimli, Gloin, Thorin, Gili, Nili, Ori, and Bambour.

You have developed your own special Tolkien handwriting. "A firm, flowing script..."

Words like "Yrch" make sense to you.

You've become strangely obsessed with mushrooms.

Whenever you close a door, you say "They have a cave troll!"

When you come to a dead end you're still convinced that the road goes ever on and on.

There's a sign on your door saying "Speak Friend and enter!"

Whenever you get a chance, you burst into song. Preferably one that has more than 20 verses.

You change your name by deed poll to a Tolkien character and seriously consider naming your children after LOTR characters.

Every time you see birds in the sky you have the urge to say "Fly you fools!"

When someone knocks on your door you grab them, pull them inside and ask "Are you frightend?... Not nearly frightend enough!"

Your computer's screensaver is a marquee reading, "Ennyn Durin atan Moria: pedo mellon a mino" and the password is actually "mellon".

You cannot see a beer without blurting out "It comes in pints? I'm getting one!"

You just can't keep yourself from saying "nobody tosses a Dwarf" at inappropriate moments.

A shadow and a threat is growing in your mind.

You now referring to your friends as your 'Fellowship' and insist that you have epic adventures.

You stand in the doorway and tell your cat that he 'Can not pass'.

You wash your face in the sink and expect to see things that are, that have been or that will be.

Your wedding band has started to weigh you down with it's evil powers.

Spending $35 at the grocery store seems expensive but its Perfectly fine to spend $70 on the Hardcover LOTR book with Alan Lee Illustrations.

You start keeping a LOTR Journal to write poems and inklings in.

You face every difficult decision with the thought "now what would Gandalf advise me to do?"

You know what Entmoot, Ent draught, or an Ent is for that matter

You've gained 20 pounds because you've started eating a "Second Breakfast"

A walking stick... you never leave home with out it.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Lord of the Rings.

This above is not mine it is found on http://www.blogthings.com/Lord-of-the-Rings.html

"Flirtations a game and I a clever player." ~'Doomed Queen Anne' by
Carolyn Meyers

"Love is many things and none of them logical." ~Westly 'The Princess Bride'

"Look!!! It's Peter Peter, he ate all the pumpkins and now we have no way of transportation!!!" ~Who's Line is it Anyway