Only On The Weekends

         As I walk into what once was a home filled with love and joy. I experience these hollow quiet spaces that now occupy this empty house. I come here every weekend. It happens to be something I enjoy very much. I open the door, ready for just about anything. I mean, after a year of coming to this house, I pretty much know what to expect.
         I work for an elderly woman who is very ill. She lives alone, and lonely in a house that was once occupied by love and fun filled activites. She did everything in her power to raise her children properly, she was a magnificent spouse. Now her husband has past on and she is still here on this earth, waiting for it to be her turn to meet her maker and join her long awaited turn to see her husband once again. To be reunited with him forever is one of her longing dreams. Her children are now all grown and have their own lives and are just too busy to take care of her. This is where I come in, I work for a company that has different services to offer people like her. I come in on the weekends and some one else comes in during the week and we take care of her.

         She is a lovely kind hearted woman. In her younger years, she had lots of energy (with three children running around the house you really need to have lots of energy). While her children were growing up they never really had the money to go and get them clothes from the department stores, so she made their clothes with her sewing machine. The children would also be in sports and she would go to their games. Her husband and the children enjoyed going to church every week because they knew that she would be there singing in the choir.

         As the years went by and the children grew and her husband got ill. Her time was becoming more and more stretched. Between her children graduating and going off to college and her husband's health slowly diminishing, it was no wonder she was also getting worn out. She had taken it upon herself to get things done with out the help of anyone. If someone were to ask if she ever needed help to just call on them she would answer "when I need it I will call." only she never did. She was so strong. Everyone was amazed when her husband had a stroke and she would not permit for him to be in a nursing home.

         "I will not permit my husband to be put in a nursing home. I am still capable of taking care of him myself. We promised to love and honor and take care of one another till death do up part." was all she would say when things would get too difficult. Then one day her daughter was coming for a visit and found that her mother was really struggling to get her father in and out of the bathroom. She called her brothers and told them that it might be best for her father if he were in a nursing home. She explained to them that her mother is dead set on not permitting it but if they didn't go along with it then they would soon be needing to make arrangements for two funerals instead of just one. Taking care of their father was taking its toll on their mother as well.

         All three children talked it over with their mother and all four of them decided it was best to take their father into a nursing home, at least for a couple of months so that their mother could take some time to attend to herself. The children were very grateful that their mother had agreed to their suggestion. If she hadn't, then they were going to have to take turns staying with them until their mom was better. They didn't like the fact that their whole lives could be interrupted like that. They had too many things going on in their lives to have to bother with their parents as well.

         Since their father had been in the nursing home, it had been nothing but trouble for them. They now had to make sure that he was being treated with kindness and respect. They had to make sure he got taken a bath and it just wasn't getting done. Their mother was doing her best and it was really stressing her out, even more. The doctors were saying that he would not last another month and it would be best if he went home with the help of a hospice nurse. They all decided they would all take turns with caring for their father at home and keep him as comfortable as possible. Their father was returned to the house that had been his home for many years. He was back where he had seen his children grow into adults and his grandchildren would come and play in the patio in back.

         They all tried to help and make things easier for their mother. It wasn't easy since they had to juggle around their work schedules and their children as well. It was a constant battle between all that was going on in the lives of everyone. Then one day as the mother was getting ready to wake her husband she had his breakfast and the daily newspaper ready. She had read to him every morning since he had come home from the nursing home. As she walked into the room they had shared for more that forty years, she realized how silent it was. She gently called him by his name, he did not answer. He had gone during the night.

         Now all that are left is her and her children which have their own lives and she is all alone. She tries to keep going. Trying to make things better by volunteering her time at the local hospital. She had been able to keep her mind off of her husband. She had just gotten back to normal, when she had a stroke herself. It happened when she was at the hospital doing her volunteering. She was walking away from the information desk she felt a sudden pain in her chest and her speech was garbled when she tried to speak to the person that was asking if she was alright she could not make out the words she was saying. Immediately, she was taken to the emergency room and was attended to by one of the doctors she knew so well.

         The children had been called and were arriving at the hospital one by one. The doctor said she had had a major stroke but she was now stable. She would need a lot of care and that she might not be able to recover completely. Her condition would get better with time but for now she was like a helpless child. The body works in mysterious ways. It all has to do whether she wants to get better and not give up. The doctor said he had seen people who had major strokes and by the end of the first year they are back to normal and sometimes even better, because they would not give in to the temptation of giving up, and loosing hope.

         The day that she came home was such a relieve for everyone. Now everything would get back to normal, "mother was home we could all get back to our regular lives," was what everyone of her children were thinking. The doctor had prescribed certain medications and had scheduled several different therapies. Only the family was unable to keep all the appointments the doctor's office had scheduled. So the doctor prescribed for home health to come in every day and give her therapy for speech, and occupational therapy as well.

         One day the home health nurse came by and the mother was on the floor. She had fallen and was unable to get up, she had been all alone. The children were called and were told that she would no longer be able to live on her own. The family was so devastated, what were they to do. They had home health coming in for maybe two hours a day and they had no one to stay with her the rest of the day or night. The idea was given to them by one of the home health nurses of the many services offered by their company. They had a provider department, that offered the services of people who would go and help people in their homes.

         The family tried to talk to the mother and she would have nothing to do with nursing homes. After what happened with their father they really didn't want to put her there either. They put the daughter in charge of the mothers care. The daughter didn't mind because she was sure it wouldn't be so difficult to find someone to take care of their mother. The home health company had someone come and stay with their mother during the morning hours. They would get her up and dressed and give her breakfast, and lunch before they would leave. Someone would come in the afternoon and help by cleaning and doing the laundry. She would eat dinner before the provider would leave.

         Things were going along just fine till one day the morning provider entered the house and found her on the floor next to her bed. Again, the whole thing with their mother not being able to stay by herself, even the neighbors decided to pitch in with volunteering to share their time with her. Only it isn't enough. People don't understand that she really needs to be taken care of by someone who is willing to stay with her 24 hours a day. No one in her family is willing to do that.

         They have a house for her to be as comfortable as she can be. They pay her bills, get her groceries, take care of everything that is necessary to keep her at home and out of a nursing home. They come and visit her everyday and check up on her by phone.(She still can't talk). They bring her gifts.(She still can't walk) The only thing she really needs is a little bit of love and affection, some understanding, just like she had given her children when they were growing up. She did such a great job in raising them properly she forgot to show them that mom's are human and have feelings too.

         Until she is no longer with us I will be her provider. I will give her my love and affection as if she were my mother. I may work for this company and I am with her only for the weekends and for certain hours, but during my time with her I make sure she feels loved and understood. I like to make her feel like she is important in this world. As long as I can, I will be here in this home that was once filled with love and joy. At least on the weekends, she can have that same feeling of love and joy in her life.