Music News Massacre

This is a fictional story based on actual events, occurring at tv.com with the original members of the “home” makers , music1089, elvisApresley77, TVoholic, and sometimes fullhousedude12, followed by some uninvited, unwelcome guests, which we eventually accepted. Sure, this story’s a bit inaccurate, but you get the picture.

Music1089: Can you believe tv.com would do that to us?

TVoholic: No, that was just inhumane.

Fullhousedude12: Well, we shouldn’t let that stop us, should it?

Music1089: Yeah, let’s do it again!

TVoholic: It’ll be better than “Meet The Press.”

Music1089: Headin’ off to “Music News.”

TVoholic: Striking “Airwolf.”

Fullhousedude12: “Sportscenter Flashback” for me.

Music1089: I can’t believe both your homes are gone.

TVoholic: You’d think for an empty forum, they’d let us have it.

*a few minutes later*

TVoholic: Oh, screw my home. I’m going to come to Music News from now on.

Fullhousedude12: Yeah, same for me, too.

TVoholic: I wonder when elvis’ll get here. He told me about the homes getting deleted.

ElvisApresley77: Hey, foo’s! New home?

TVoholic: Yeah, we’re also thinking about getting back at tv.com for doing this to us.

Music1089: Everybody, pick a weapon!

*few minutes later*

Music1089: I assume everyone has a weapon?

Fullhousedude12: Yeah. Let us attack!

TVoholic: Create new topics! Create new topics!

*later*

TVoholic: Well, gotta go for the moment. Be back soon. This isn’t over tv.com!
*leaves*

Spongedude49: Hey, people!

Fullhousedude12: Leave!

Gloobadude: We promise we won’t tell.

Fullhousedude12: Okay, you guys can stay if you promise not to tell.

*soon, TVoholic comes back*

Tvoholic: Wait a minute. I thought there were four of us! What’re these other guys doing here?

Fullhousedude12: We let them stay. They said they wouldn’t tell.

Tvoholic: Yeah, I guess I kinda did tell them where we were, from that post.

Music1089: Gonna create more threads?

Tvoholic: You know it! We must continue this process!

*One week later*

Tvoholic: Oh, this is hopeless. We’ll never keep this place a secret. Look at all the people here now, colakid12, quinceywalkey, spongebobdude15, this list is hopeless!

Music1089: Relax. As long as they can keep this secret, no one will find us.

ElvisApresley77: So what’d I miss?

Music1089: Nothing much, but fullhousedude12 hasn’t been here for awhile. He probably left.

Tvoholic: He was a great user. Gee, it’s going to be different here without him.

ElvisApresley77: I’m bored. Somebody do something!

Music1089: Fine, I’ll make more threads.

Music1089: About what?

Tvoholic: We’ve been attacked by moderators before. They could do it again. I’m scarred for life now, see?

ElvisApresley77: Oh, don’t do that! Scars make me squeamish.

Music1089: 13-year-olds…

Gloobadude: Okay, I’m bored.

Tvoholic: Hey, what’s that?

Spongedude49: What?

Tvoholic: That black shape over there.

Music1089: It looks like the guy from “Meet the Press.”

Voice: This is a moderator. Do not be alarmed. All your posts will be deleted. You have been given fair warning about this. Prepare…

Spongedude49: Okay, I’m outta here. *leaves*

Tvoholic: Everybody, battle stations! It’s time to attack! Grab the weapons!

*Everyone but elvis picks up a weapon*

Tvoholic: ATTACK!

*Music1089 shoots at moderator*

Tvoholic: Anyone not fighting the moderator, please leave immediately!

*Users run away*

Tvoholic: Come on people, move it! What are you doing here, elvis?

ElvisApresley77: Hey, foo’. This was my idea too. I’ma fight this guy!

Tvoholic: *sigh* Here’s a gun…

*elvisApresley77 gives a war-like battle cry, running into battle, taking multiple shots at the mod*

Tvoholic: It’s agreed. We never let him near a gun again.

Music and Glooba: Yep.

Tvoholic: Next time, we use the king’s guitar.

Music and Glooba: Yep.

ElvisAPresley77: Help! This bib got my leg!

Tvoholic: Don’t worry. I’ll shoot’im off. *shoots at mod*

Elvis: Ow! Shoot at the mod, not at me, moron!

TV: Sorry, first time shooter… not really.

Elvis: It’s got some sticky stuff on it!

TV: Butter it off!

Elvis: SHUSH UP, BIB!!!

Music: I’ll get’em off. I’m from Illinois. *Slices off mod’s arm.*

Glooba: He’s taking shots at us, now!

*mod shoots every single weapon known to man, and some monkeys, at them*

Music: I’ve been shot!

TV: Can you stand up?

Music: I think so. Oh, no…

TV: What?

Music: What’s that on your chest?

TV: Oh, god, it’s a grenade!

Elvis: Throw it away!

*Tvoholic throws it to the mod, sticking it in the outer sappy layer*

Glooba: He’s gonna blow up!

*Moderator explodes, but soon reforms*

Glooba: That’s impossible. They can’t just reform like that.

TV: That’s the sad truth.

Elvis: What?

TV: They have many more privileges than we do. They’re out of their cold, hard body, into another vessel, where they cannot be destroyed.

Music: So, this is a lost battle?

TV: I’m afraid so.

Glooba: Well, I’m attacking anyway!

TV: Glooba, no!

*Moderator attacks Glooba, shooting him completely with radiation, leaving nothing of glooba behind*

Elvis: He’s dead…

Music: No, his corpse would still be here. There’s nothing of him left.

TV: Where’d he go?

Elvis: Must’ve just disappeared to another website or something.

TV: Well, this is it. He’s going to make the final shot. We’re going to die, boys.

Elvis: It’s been nice knowing you guys.

Music: Same here.

Mod: This is the end…

*moderator takes one more shot, instantly killing elvis, music, and TV*

Days later, two doctors happened to find the three. They were put in surgery immediately…

Doctor 1: We need a higher pressure!

Doctor 2: I need to make the incision directly on the heart. This will require complete silence.

*days later*

Doctor 1: We did it! We saved one of their lives!

Doctor 2: Congratulations, elvis. You’re free to go.

Elvis: Coo. Later, derps and derpettes!

Doctor 1: Let’s save the others.

*1 month later*

Doctor 2: Almost… did it! I think we can save them.

Doctor 1: Please tell me they’re okay.

Doctor 2: Tvoholic? Tvoholic, speak to me!

Tvoholic: I’m…bored.

Doctor 1: Go on. Just one more.

Doctor 2: We need to make hear surgery,

*many hours later*

Doctor 1: Live, I say! Live!

Doctor 2: It’s no use. He’s gone.

Doctor 1: What? But he can’t be?!?

Doctor 2: I’m afraid so. I’m so sorry, Music1089. We’ve failed you.

Doctor 1: You’ll remain with your friends in spirit. Just remember that now.

~Fin~ :)