And there it was

And There it was!


There it was! As sudden as a light being switched on. There it was. Money! Crispy, bright rectangular pieces of paper. Pieces of paper with pretty motifs. Motifs that have the ability to change life drastically. And yes, the changes were as drastic as they were sudden. Yet, up to yesterday, life was dull, boring and exasperating. I never would have thought that even I could be caught in a web of money.
Yesterday sounds like a short time ago, but for me, it feels like a lifetime away. I wish that it had never happened, but it did and I had to just deal with it. In hindsight, and after a lot of introspection, it’s actually not that bad, but evil overtook me. I guess the sight that presented itself during that fateful morning should have triggered something within my sub-concious; but nothing happened. What a fool I was not to have paid heed to that premonition. Crows. Crows all over the garden.
The crows were hanging around my bedroom window squabbling over titbits, succulent grubs, shiny bits of paper, cigarette buts and the usual bric-a-brac that is found in a normal household garden.
“What the hell is a murder of crows doing here?” I asked myself; never thinking further than what confronted me. The crows just eyed me out, cawed a bit and continued with their gorge feast. Their disdain for my presence annoyed me.
“ I am the human! Why aren’t you afraid of me?” I yelled at them. Yet they did not budge. Then I saw it. I felt like death had just walked through me.
What the hell is that bag doing on the lawn? The sight I just witnessed had me all riled up. And totally insecure. And feeling all warm and fuzzy.
My ‘fight or flight’ instincts were overpowering my senses. Not only was I frightened, but exhilarated all at the same time. I felt an overpowering urge to investigate the strange bag lying on my lawn crows and all.
My house is situated within the confines of a housing complex. Secure and secluded, but in full view of the neighbours. Windows looking out onto windows looking out onto doors. Privacy being a commodity that is sacrificed for the sake of personal security.
I walked briskly on bare feet to the kitchen, picked up the back door keys; which were hanging from a terracotta key holder, walked around the kitchen table and breezed to the back door. I unlocked the slide lock, inserted the key into the keyhole and turned. There was a click from within the key mechanism as the tumblers fell into place. I toggled the door handle downwards and pushed the door forwards, and it opened.
The sunlight hit me like a train whose inertia will keep it going long after the breaks are applied. I squinted and brought my left hand up to cover my eyes. I had to allow for perception to set in, to adjust itself. And it took its time, must have been something to do with a warm fuzzy feeling I was experiencing. I felt uneasy. The crows glared at me balefully. They did not even stop what they were doing. They just continued on eating and cawing.
“Shit!”, I exclaimed, “Voertsek…!”, I screamed. And then, as if possessed, I charged the crows shouting obscenities as I went. At first they just looked at me rather comically, as if I was an apparition that deserved no better than pure ignorance, but their leader must have noticed that this gangly creature must mean business and with a “caw” they took off in unison.
And there it was! The bag just lay there lifeless and inviting. I remember shouting swearwords as my feet moved across a minefield of crow droppings: Yuk!
But the bag held me in its grip. It was a linen bag with a black uppercase letter “B” peering from behind the bag. Slowly but cautiously, I used my bare foot to turn the bag over.
What the…? The bag had the words of “BANK OF CRYSCILIA” embossed on it. Nice lettering… Suddenly I caught a glimpse of what the contents were.
No! It can’t be! My mind jumped from my conscience to my imagination to my sub-conscience and back faster than a super-ball inside a bomb shelter (I used to play inside one with just such a ball.)
“It can’t be…!?” . Slowly I squatted over the bag, undid the leather laces and pried open the bag. “WOW!!!”. I saw money. Lots of it. Greens, browns and purples. Plenty of tiny paper temptations. Cautiously I looked around at my surroundings. My one neighbour’s dog was barking as usual.
Did that curtain move? My inner self asked. A sudden noise similar to a rustle of leaves made me swivel around on my haunches. There behind me was one of my neighbours: the pretty one. She smiled sensuously and gestured Hello! I returned the gesture and noticed that she was actually smiling at me. I know that on numerous occassions I had trying flirting with her, but this was the first time that she acknowledged my presence. All of a sudden, I realised that there I was, crouching over a suspicious bag, in only my underpants. Shyness and coyness overtook me faster than a season change at a coastal town. I picked up the bag, covered myself and made a hasty retreat into the safety of Home.
With sweaty palms and an elevated heart rate, I placed the bag on the kitchen table. I tried to relax. After a while of just standing there, I started to pry the bag open so that I could actually see what was inside.
Yes, it was money! Clean, unmarked and unblemished. I picked up a stack of brown notes and felt their crispness. It felt great. This whole affair was beginning to take its toll on me and I felt giddy. Unstable, but on top of the world.
“What do I do now?”, I thought out aloud. My conscience was plaguing me. This was a new experience. Me with a conscience? Yes, it was true. My conscience was attacking me blindly: “so I found a bag of money: lots of it.” This was something that dreams were made of. I kept thinking that it was only money and that nobody had seen or knew about it. I remember thinking that I was losing it because I also started hearing noises…
I did hear a knock! I edged up to the front door on my tiptoes and put my eye to the fishbowl world of my door viwer.
Hey, what the hell does she want? What is she doing here? Why is she winking at me? At the front door was my neighbour: the pretty one. And yes, she was winking at me. And wearing a very translucent sleeveless summer dress with white and black floral work on it. Very nice.
“Yes?” I asked.
“Please let me in!?” she replied in a voice that only angels are supposed to have. And before my inner voice could stop me, and it did try, I undid the latch and opened the door just slightly. There she stood in all her gorgeous self, and very slinky as well.
“So, are you not going to allow me in…?” , she asked. “It’s not as if I have never seen you… naked. Not modest are we?”
My knees went weak and wobly at the same time that my heart found itself lodged in my throat. Once again I found myself in my underpants in the presence of a divine beauty.
I shivered and quaked but no sound escaped my voice box. Gently, she put out her hand, pushed open the door, walked in briskly and closed the door behind her.
She’s locked it! I screamed to myself in panic. I could not move. The panic was just too much. But the warm fuzzy feeling was still there. I was hoping beyond all hope that she did not notice how nervous I was.
Shit! Why did I open the door? my mind questioned.
With very determined movements, she made her way to where the bag was lying. She opened it, inserted one of her beautiful hands into it and pulled out a large wad of notes. “And what are WE going to do with all this money?” She enquired.
What! She knew? I uttered in quiet panic. She kept on pulling and stacking more notes until the whole counter was full of little piles of money.
“Our lives are made. There’s over a half million here.” she exclaimed.
I noticed that I was highly aroused. She also saw this fact and grabbed my hand, dragged me across the passage to my bedroom, where she roughly, threw me backwards onto the bed. Her beauty was intoxicating, but it was her movements that aroused me to full height. She smiled like a ravenous hyena while she pulled her dress over her head. Her body was “Wow” to say the least. With a bold sexual glance – head tilted forwards with the eyes peering from underneath her half-closed eyelids - she attacked me aggressively, but tenderly. We made love for a very long time, or so it felt like it, for it was all clouded by a warm fuzzy feeling.
Dreams do come true. Well, to me, my dreams did come true. I inherited lots of money, even if illegally so, and a wonderful lover and companion. My life did change. I was in seventh heaven (a warm fuzzy one.) Happy, fulfilled and spent, and all because of a murder of crows that fateful morning….
“Knock, knock…! Knock, knock…!”. My mind jolted awake.
I found myself enveloped in a cold sweat, and a headache to match. But there was someone at my door. And this worried me. I stood up from my bed - squirmed when my feet touched the cold wooden floor - and used the bedside table to steady myself up.
“Knock, knock…!” There it was again.
Who the hell could it be? Quietly I crawled over the bed while trying to compose myself and made my way to the door.
“Shhh…” I muttered to myself in panic. The door loomed up quite quickly. I put my eye to the door viewer and jumped back in horror. Standing in front of the door was my neighbour, the pretty one, with a linen bag in her hand. And a flowery summer dress; sleeveless too. Her features where huge due to the panoramic effect created by the door viewer. She still looked wow!
“Yes…?”
“Please let me in!” she said, “I need to speak to you, NOW!”.
Slowly and with some thought (What am I doing?), I undid the latch and unlocked the door.
What the hell does she want?, my mind raced for answers. Hopefully answers that made sense. Still?
She pushed the door open and walked in, closing the door briskly. Suddenly, I was aware of her presence; her body lotion mingled with perfume was absolutely intoxicating. My nostrils flared, as I smelled her essence. I can remember the cold shivers that shot up through my body; and back down to a place I did not want it to go.
“Where can I put this?” she said pointing to the bag, still smiling.
“What is it?” I queried. I noticed that the bag was the same shape and colour as the one in my dream. And the embossed name was uncanningly the same as my dream: ‘BANK OF CRYSCILIA”. Now this freaked me out.
Isn’t she gorgeous!? my mind raced.
All at once reality jumped up and hit me like a falling tree. I knew that it could not be but it was. My dream! My warm, fuzzy dream!
“Listen, what I have here will set us up for life but,” she hesitated for a moment, “ It must stay between us!”
“First, tell me what is this all about? I mean, for months you ignored me, and now you barge in here demanding secrecy?” I rattled off like a machine gun.
“And what are you smiling about?” I asked.
As sudden as the question was asked, and just as sudden as I realised that I was standing in front of her in only my underpants; MY DREAM!
“I’ll explain later. For now just trust me.” And with that she pulled me closer and kissed me.
We kissed for quite a while, savouring each other while our hands explored. My modesty, a thing of the past.
Gently I pushed her away and asked, “What about your husband?”
“Don’t worry about the fool. He deserves what he got. He’s a lazy slob and a parasite! Now, can we continue?” Time went astray. We were lost within our own worlds, insecure.
He deserves what he GOT? That warm fuzzy feeling again.
Eventually, as if she came to her senses, she started explaining what had happed in detail, from the time her husband was woken up by the cawing of crows, to his discovery of the linen bag, to her bludgeoning his head in with a heavy hammer. Her panic reached fever pitch when she realised what had just happened. Her crying. Her wanton desire to tell someone. What to do with the moneybag? The details were explicit and vivid. But what amazed me was her calmness through out the monologue.
“So?” she asked, “What now?” Her eyes searching mine for answers.
She’s nuts! I thought all the while trying to be rational.
My life was in tatters. This beauty was slowly but deliberately destroying my world, my sanity. But my weakness for a beautifull female was overriding my ability to see clearly. I recalled the crows in my dream. Hundreds of them. Black with white spots. Cawing and eating and defecating. It must have been a warning of sorts.
What? I pondered.
The human capacity for avarice still haunts me to this day. The power of money! “Easy come, easy go”, I’ve always heard, but I never expected to be trapped by it. The truth be told, I enjoyed the moments of panic, anxiety and total greed. The sexual feelings were delicious. The bottom line was that greed won the day.
Hmm, nice warm fuzzy feeling.
After using her for a while, I disposed of her body in a manner befitting her life style: In a bath of acid. The money was distributed amongst various Companies and Bank accounts. The funny thing about this episode is that not once was there a report about the missing money or the dead husband (whose name I never knew) and the missing woman (also never knew her name.) Life just continued as if it never happened. I was richer for it but mentally disturbed and cocooned in an envelope of warm fuzzyness…
“Mr Gedi…? Come on…! Mr Gedi… Wake up! It’s time for your medicine!”

THE END