Secret Words

Goodbye

Why is it so hard,
to say one little word?
To give one last smile,
last hug,
last glance,
last touch, lost chances.
To you I do bid farewell,
knowing very well
our paths will once cross again cross,
so my verge of tears,
I shall restain. (Please do not cry, do not fear the silence...)
To you my night star,
too many night I've seen myself dreaming of your face, me... well...
Just a wasteless taste,
boring face, endless case, lost in space?
Redemtion or rejection
eternity will rest within my heart.
For you, my strenth, and I your fading shadow...
must forgive and forget,
the sins of my father, your
betrayal, deceit, and my distrust.
To everyone else,
I say this, forgive me
if I seem distant, afraid, or even unaware...
but this little word;
GOODBYE...
It's just so hard,
to say goodbye...

Fallen Angel



Untitled

Repetition of every word, once again
can’t take the indecency,
feel like I’m always the bad one.
Just trying to make things wrong to right,
know that I could have better than this, yet
I still try and work things out.

You talk and pretend to understand,
when all you do is just play with me,
lie and continue on.
Leaving me distressed and confused,
angry of this.
I look into your eyes and still believe, but why?

Sometimes I dream and see him,
it isn’t a reality though, my fictious mind toying
with my emotions.
The sense of truth lets me believe him,
understanding makes it real.
Today will come and go,
but tomorrow will never happen will it?

My eyes are sometimes closed,
blind myself from the truth so the pain can be released.
Wish you could open them for me,
take the fire and make it yours.
Say the things to make me smile,
allow the air to enter and make me better.
Do I do the same for you?
Wait, I am not allowed since you aren’t mine,
never will be.

The dream still is there, the hope.
I see you in the darkness,
actually feel your kiss
upon my cheek.
Was that a tear,
mine or yours?
Doesn't matter,
just hold me like you do.
It’s like everyone else is dead
when I’m with you, just the two of us in our world.
It’s sad how one can love another,
but they’ll never know.
Can’t assume it, so won’t even try.
Though we all know I will anyway.
Better sometimes to keep things left unsaid.
Maybe you do know, and we’re really just guessing
when we should say it.
Complications only leave it there.


***

Just by the look in your eyes
I am taken by surprise.
Your sweet scent stays dear,
even when you're not here.
I'm lost for words
and soon you'll see
that this ain't me.
I'm transfixed, in a daze
floating listfully day to day
reminding myself that this is a faze.
You may not understand
how all new this feels already,
I've seen it fit,
to let you in.
Such a daring move,
but I believe it may work
as my senses seem to leave me
breathless...


Shades of Grey


Everything's the same, I'm the one to Blame,
Can't hide away my shame,
It's painted on my very soul. I'd be lying to you,
That it's hard to let go.
Each day I know, that it's easier to be cold.
Shy away slowly, confusing,
But it's a must. They watch and misunderstand,
Rise and fall of laughter,
as another one bites the dust. Shoulders back, head held high
I tip toe through the world outside.
But no one likes the look in my eyes. (I wonder why...)
Who is she? Where's she from?
Maybe I could be the one? To break her down,
and open her up,
Read her like an open book. Make her mine, touch something divine
Have her for all time...
What is behind those blue eyes? Shades of Grey, and other things too
Things that don't really matter to you.
And it will always be that way, Same Shit, Different Day,
sorry to say, but that's the way it goes.
I guess I was born to be alone, to walk lifes dark road,
And smile and say 'In the End, it'll be okay'