Marriage is Overrated

I'm not married. I don't have that left-handed piece of what should have been a down payment on a house. But I do have a great guy.
So, why am I pissed? Because marriage has become a huge gimmick, a great club of snobbish marrieds who believe that until you get that damn title, your relationship doesn't count for squat. Why is this?
Perhaps it's because they like to think that they've already got their happily-ever-after and it entitles them to rub this in the nose of we single people.
It makes me wonder, what is marriage, anyways? It's certainly popular, people do it and redo it all the time. It's even something I want to do myself! Why? I've got a great guy I'd like to be able to live with and have sex with without my family feeding me to the dogs. Why aren't I married, then? Because those damn married people have given my great guy the belief that I'd be a lead weight around his ankle. I prefer to think of myself as setting him free.
Does marriage happen when you spend a few thou on cake, dresses, tuxedos, entertainment, booze, and a minister who pronounces your name wrong at the altar? Or does it happen when you sign the marriage agreement? Does it happen when you kiss each other in front of a billion people or when the man reaches up his bride's skirt to get an elastic band that cost her a hundred bucks? Does it happen when you announce your decision to be married? Or does it happen when you move in together, the common-law way? Should it not happen until you die, when you've finally fulfilled your promise to this other person? That in your obituary, they can say that you married a person and stayed married to this person? Was it really a marriage if you divorced? Is it marriage if neither person is ever happy with the other?
Or how about this idea. Can't it happen when two people who love each other commit to living the rest of their lives in each other's company? To witness someone else's life, to pick them up when they're down, to allow them to make their own decisions, to watch them succeed or fail and love them either way? To piss each other off and have fun making up? Can it happen when they admit to God that this is their heart's desire and to ask His blessing? Can it happen this way? Tell me, please.
When I finally figure it out, I'll let you know.

Maybe I'll even welcome you to the club.