Identity Perception Chapter 1

Chapter 1
Alan Jasper awoke and found himself in a strange place. His head hurt and he could not remember who he was or how he got here. He looked around the room to see if he could figure out where “here” was. The room was full of machines and there was another bed in the room. As he examined his condition he realized that he was in a hospital. He checked to see if there was anyone else in the room. It was then that he saw a woman napping in the chair next to his bed. She was sitting, but she appeared to be about average height with shoulder length black hair. She also looked to be in her mid-forties.
“I wonder if she can help me, whoever she is. She must know me, right?” he thought. Truthfully he really was not sure. Due to the memory loss he seemed to have suffered; she could be his mom for all he knew. She did look old enough to be his mom. Then again, at this point it did not really matter who she was, because almost anyone knew more about him than he did. There was one problem, though, she was napping. Seeing as he could not remember who she was, he was a little uncomfortable waking her up. Luckily for Alan he did not have to ponder what to do for long. As he was thinking about what he should do a man walked into the room. The man glanced at Alan’s bed and saw that the teenager was awake. He walked over to an empty chair near the bed.
“Hey, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” he said sitting down in the chair. As he sat he nudged the napping woman sitting in the chair next to his and said, “Wake up honey, Nate’s up.” As the woman opened her eyes she looked at Alan and said, “Welcome back.” Alan looked at the man who had entered, trying to place him. The man was tall and when he sat down he was much taller than his wife. He was rather well built and had a hardened look to his face. He appeared to be in his late forties. He looked again at the woman, trying to place her as well. Failing to do so, he asked,
“Who are you?”
“What’s the matter Nate don’t you recognize us?” the man replied, joking.
“No, actually I don’t,” Alan responded seriously. Picking up on Alan’s confusion; the woman said,
“That’s okay hon, the doctor said this might happen; you did suffer a major head injury and you have been out for a day or so now.” She paused and added, “Nate, we’re your parents. Do you remember our names?”
“No, I don’t. I actually don’t even know my name or where I am.” he said looking down with a hint of embarrassment in his voice. The woman picked it up immediately and responded,
“Don’t be embarrassed, you lost your memory; it happens. Your name is Alan Jasper and you are at Glenview Hospital, and we are your parents Natalie and Kyle. Ring any bells?”
“No, not really,” he said with a confused look on his face.
“You look confused; what’s up?”
“You have both been calling me Nate, now you tell me my name is Alan. Which is it?”
“Oh, sorry, it is Alan, your middle name is Nathan and we call you that because we like it better. I guess we just forgot; we’re just so used to calling you that.”
“All right, so what do most people use?”
“Alan.” A quiet voice said from the corner. All three turned to see a girl sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. The girl had entered so quietly that none of them had noticed. Natalie spoke first,
“Kelly, honey your brother is up. Would you like to talk to him?” Brother? So apparently he had a little sister as well. She responded to her mother’s question,
“Not really. I’m okay.”
“You sure? It might help him remember.”
“Maybe I don’t want him to remember!” Kelly responded quickly. Alan was shocked, but it seemed no one else was. His father got up and demanded an apology.
“What for? I’m not sorry! It’s true. I don’t want him to remember! I hate him!” she responded more insistently. Then she stormed out of the room and Kyle got up and followed her.
“Sorry about that,” his mother said.
“What was that all about?” Alan asked confused.
“Don’t worry about that. Your sister is gong through a tough time right now. She doesn’t hate you, she just thinks she does. She’ll get over it.” Something else was bothering him. He had not gotten a real good look at Kelly, but he had noticed that she looked nothing like Kyle or Natalie. Then he thought of something and asked,
“Mom, is Kelly adopted?”
“No, well sort of; why do you ask?”
“She looks nothing like you or dad, so I figured see must have different parents. Is she?”
“She is your real sister, but not our real daughter. We took in both of you after your parents were killed. I thought you remembered that. Sorry.” She said calmly.
“Wait, my real parents are dead?” Alan responded shocked, not only at the information, but at how it had been delivered. It did not even seem to faze her that she had just told him his parents were dead. She acted like it was no big deal. Alan shook it off, then immediately began rapidly asking questions as they came to mind, “How did they die? When? What were their names? What is your name? How did you know them?”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down I know it is a lot to be dropped on you,” she said finally showing some concern. Maybe she was not as cold hearted as he thought. She continued, “Your real mom’s name was Christy. She died as a result of complications with Kelly’s delivery. Your father’s name was Andrew and he died shortly after in a car crash. They have been dead for about ten years now. My name is Natalie Jacobs. Kyle and I were friends of theirs from college. Does that help?”
“A little, were they good people?”
“Yes, they were. Actually you were six when they died. Do you remember them at all?”
“I think so. Actually, they seem more familiar to me than you do. What does that mean?”
“I don’t know Nate…”
“Could you call me Alan, please?”
“Sure, sorry, it’s just that I always have called you Nate.”
“I know, but for right now I’m confused enough without having to remember who calls me what. If most people use Alan I’d prefer that we stick with that. At least until I get my bearings back again.”
“Fair enough. I will try to remember. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, I don’t know why your birth parents are more familiar.” As she finished her sentence Kyle led Kelly into the room. She was still protesting, so Kyle took her back into the hall, Natalie following. As Alan sat in the room alone he began to think,
“Why does she dislike me so much?” the confused teenager wondered in his head. “What could I have possibly have done to her?” Then again it didn’t seem like she liked anyone in this family. She had done nothing but argue with the Jacobs since he had woken up. It kind of surprised him because if what Natalie had told him was true, they had been the only parents she had known. He wished he could call upon his memory for help on what exactly her problem was, but due to the fact that he had almost no memory he was left drawing huge blanks every time he tried recalling something. Maybe in time the gaps would fill in.
Kelly’s behavior was rather peculiar. If she did not get along with him or the Jacobs who did she get along with? Granted Natalie had told him it was a rough time for her, so for all he knew this was not her normal behavior. He wanted a chance to talk to her. It was rather sad that he needed to talk to her at all. She was his sister and he had known her all her life, or had he? He was not really sure; he could not remember much. In fact he could not remember anyone that he had met before he woke up. As the teenager was mulling over these things Kelly entered the room. It was at that time that he got a look at her. She was much younger than he was. He guessed that she was about eight or nine. She had light brown hair and he found her face strangely familiar for some reason. Then again she was his sister. Unlike Kyle and Natalie she was wearing long sleeves and long pants. She was followed by his foster parents. As Kyle stood behind her he loomed over the child. She appeared to have some fear of Kyle, but seemed more afraid of Alan than anyone in the room. Alan, of course, found this rather strange. Still, rather defiant she walked over to the bed and as she neared it she looked back at the Jacobs’. Kyle looked at her and pointed in his direction and said, “Let’s go young lady, apologize to your brother.”
“Fine. Alan, I’m sorry I said I hate you,” she said quickly and turned to go. As she went to leave Alan said,
“That’s okay, Kelly. I don’t know whether you meant it or not. If I did something to cause it I’m sorry,” he said, then he continued, “I hope we can learn to get along.” He was not sure if she heard him as she quickly left the room, nor was he exactly sure why he had added the last part. If she had a problem with him why should he really care at all? In truth it was her problem, not his. On the other hand he was not going to make enemies, either, unless he had good reason. He would give her a chance to state her case. Perhaps she could be of some help eventually. As he pondered this, Natalie followed Kelly out of the room. After they left Kyle walked over to the bed and said,
“That was nice of you to take the blame, but it wasn’t your fault. Your sister has had a problem with everyone lately. Don’t worry about it. Get some rest. The doctor will be around in a few minutes to check on you. Your mom and I need to take care of something, then we’ll take Kelly home. If we don’t make it back before visiting hours are over we will see you tomorrow, all right?”
“Sure,” Alan said as Kyle left the room. The doctor did come in and check him out. Alan asked him what had happened. It seemed kind of silly, but he still had not found out why he was in the hospital. In all the confusion he had forgotten to ask.
“You had an accident while riding your bike. You were found off the trail unconscious. You sustained some minor injuries when you hit the ground as well. You should be fine, though. We will keep you here for observation a little while longer. You seem okay to me, but you were unconscious for a while there so we have to hold have to make sure there are not an after-effects.”
“All right, thanks doctor,” Alan said as the doctor went to leave.
“No problem, it looks like you have a visitor. I think she is your sister. Should I send her in or do you want to rest?” Alan was surprised to hear that Kelly was still there since she had not been too enthused to talk to him earlier.
“No, send her in; thanks.” The doctor exited the room and as he did Alan heard him say,
“You can go in now, if you want.” A few seconds later Kelly entered the room slowly and quietly. He was beginning to see that despite her loud protesting earlier she was really rather quiet. For the second time she approached Alan with caution. This reinforced his suspicion of her being afraid of him. How could that be? Why would she have any reason to be afraid of her own brother? Perhaps she could give him some answers. She stood far away from him and nervously spoke,
“Hi Alan.” Her voice was quiet.
“Hi Kelly, what’s up?”
“I, ah, just, um…”
“Kelly, you know you can sit down next to me right? I don’t bite…hard.” He noticed she didn’t laugh. In fact she seemed to tense up more. In an attempt to release the tension he said, “That was a joke.” She giggled; but still was tense. “Kelly, seriously, you’re my sister. As your older brother it is my job to protect you. I’m not going to hurt you. Don’t you trust me?” She didn’t answer. He was starting to understand why she disliked him and why she was so nervous. His impression had been right, she was afraid of him. He wanted to put her at ease, so he used the first thing that came to mind. “Kelly, if there is anyone in this room that should be afraid it should be me. I can’t really move from this bed. So even if I wanted to do something to you, and I don’t, I couldn’t, okay?” Again, no answer. He continued, “Could you at least sit down, and say what you came in here to say? That is if you still feel like telling me. If you don’t, I’ll understand. I’m getting a feeling that you’re a little afraid of me, so…”
“I’m not afraid of you,” she interrupted defiantly, then continued quietly, “I just prefer to stand, that’s all.”
“Okay, well if you’re not going to sit at least move closer or speak louder so I can hear you. I can’t read lips you know.” Finally the stone face cracked and Kelly giggled. She then nervously stepped closer to the chair next to him, but she didn’t sit down. He was not sure if she was standing because she was afraid or if she was standing as a matter of principle. It didn’t matter. He wanted to get to the point, “So, what did you want to say?”
“I was just wondering. Did you mean it when you said you were sorry and that you wanted to learn to get along?” she said, anxiously awaiting the answer.
“Of course! What have I been saying for the last few minutes? You’re my little sister, I’m on your team, and if I’m not I should be. That’s not to say I won’t disagree with you. I’m getting a sense that this problem between us is not a difference of opinion. Whether you admit it or not you are afraid of me and that’s not right.”
“Do you mean that?”
“Of course, and I don’t expect you to trust me right away, but I promise to try to become someone you can trust. After all, if you can’t trust your own brother, who can you trust?”
“But, I don’t trust you.”
“Fair enough, it sounds like I earned that. Will you give me a chance to earn it back?”
“I guess.”
“Okay.” Then he thought of something, “Hey sis, can you help me with something?”
“Maybe. What is it?”
“I just want to hear your side of the story. I have heard the Jacobs’ side, but I’d like to hear what you have to say about our family. Besides, due to the memory loss I forgot all the dirt I had on them. In fact I know almost nothing about them.”
“You don’t remember them at all?”
“A little but not much. I remember some things about them, some about our parents,” he said. He quickly added, “...and a few things about you as well.” He added that last part even though it was not true.
“Alan, the Jacobs are our parents.”
“Yeah, I guess they are. I was referring to our real mom and dad, Christy and Andy.”
“Oh, them,” she said quietly looking down.
“What’s the matter?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”
“All right, I’ll drop it. Now are you going to tell me about yourself or what?”
“Do you really want to know?” she seemed excited.
“Yes! Look, until my memory comes back I feel like I’m talking to a stranger, not a sister. So if you would please help me out here I’d appreciate it. How can I get you to trust me when I feel like I don’t know you?”
“Well, okay, I guess you’re right. Where do you want me to start?” Kelly finally sat down.
“Anywhere you’d like. Anything you can tell me will help me out. If you want you could start with your name, age, birthday, stuff like that. Things an older brother should know. In case I ever have to prove who I am or something…” he said.
He intended the last part to be humorous, but apparently she had not caught the humor. As Alan spoke he noticed she had sat down. He was going to say something, but decided to not make a big deal of it. He did not want to undo any progress he had made. She was just starting to show signs of even remotely trusting him. Then again she could have been too tired of standing to care, so he did not get his hopes up.
She began to tell him about herself. As she did Alan just listened, asking questions where he saw fit. He learned the answers to his questions. Kelly Sarah Jasper was ten and her birthday was June 25th. She was six years younger than her brother; it was at this time that Alan figured out he was sixteen.
Oddly enough he still didn’t know when his birthday was. He was going to ask her but she seemed to be into talking about herself. He decided to ask someone eventually. He had her talking and he got the feeling that did not happen much. So, the conversation continued. He figured if he got a chance he would ask, if not it did not really matter.
Kelly began describing their home and telling him about the town. She also spoke of someone named Brian, it sounded like he was a teacher of hers. She continued to tell him about school. Then she started to tell him what she knew about the Jacobs. It seemed she did not really like them that much. He was beginning to think that he had made some progress in convincing her to trust him. He even thought he saw a smile on her face. After a while of talking he saw Kyle enter the room to get Kelly. As he saw the two talking he quickly said,
“Kelly, visiting time is almost up and I’ve got to leave. I have to see the doctor first. I’ll meet you out in the hall, okay?”
“Okay, dad.”
“Have a good night Alan and I’ll see you tomorrow,” Kyle said
“Okay, I will.” With that Kyle left and the two kids continued to chat, laughing and joking about Kyle. A few minutes later Kyle yelled into the room from the hall,
“Kelly, we have to go now!” He said impatiently with a hint of anger in his voice.
“Okay dad!” she shouted back as she stood up and left the bedside.
“Goodbye, Alan,” Kelly said as she went to walk out. Then she suddenly turned around walked back to the head of the bed, leaned down, and quickly hugged her brother. Then she ran out, so fast he did not get a chance to respond.
“Bye, sis,” he yelled at the door anyway. As Alan recovered form the shock he also thought over what had transpired that day. Especially the last few minutes. From what he could tell Kelly was a wreck and he almost felt sorry for her. That is, he would have if he was not the one in the hospital bed with no memory. He sensed that helping her might be the best way to help himself. If she trusted him he might be able to get the information he needed, possibly. He would have to be careful though, she was certainly a fragile being. As he had discovered, one misstep could send her into a lockdown. The fact that some of the trust came back so quickly showed that she must have trusted him once, either that or she was very trustful. That is perhaps what made her so fragile in the first place; she placed her trust in the wrong people so often that now she kept to herself to keep from being hurt. Then again, he was her brother which naturally granted him some benefit. Part of him hated to be using her like he was, but he knew if he was going to survive he might just have to.
He had received a lot of information for one day. He knew there would be even more as his memory began to return. He had no idea what he would find once his memory returned. Nor did he have any idea how much trouble his memory returning would cause.