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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1073505-Namular-Confusion
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by Ranis Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR · Short Story · Comedy · #1073505
Two people with similar names have a tough afternoon.
Namular Confusion

As Mister Hue drove his shiny car to the supermarket, he had no idea that this afternoon would be a very, very odd one. As he walked into the store, he heard a child’s voice call out, “Miss Terhue! Look at this lovely haggis!”

Mister Hue raised an eyebrow and muttered to him self, “Wot! I don’t ev’n like ‘aggis. An’ why deh blarney ‘s this kid asking me ‘bout it?”

At that moment looked around and realized that the child was nowhere near him. He shook his head, his red hair moving slightly, figuring that he must have imagined the child and the haggis. On the other side of the store, however, Miss Terhue had taken the food and placed it in her cart, after giving her little friend a hug, for she was the child’s school teacher.

She then continued on to the aisle with the tea, for she was out and needed some for her next time with her friends. She picked up the kind she liked-nice and strong-and went on towards the checkout lanes.

In the meantime, Mister Hue had gone over to the refrigerated section to pick up some ale, because he had a big football party coming up, and if he did not have any, his mates would chuck him out of the house and throw their trainers at him. Mister Hue proceeded to the checkout moments after Miss Terhue had paid. After that, he strolled out to his car and put his items in the boot.

After she got into her car, Miss Terhue drove to the local pub, the Feisty Flagon, to see her brother, who was the bartender. She parked her red car and started to the door. As she went in she saw her brother and went towards the bar.

“Wotcher Frank,” She said, “Are yeh feeling better t’day?”

“Eh, I ‘unno Emma, still go’ ‘hem snif’es an’ me cough’s pret’y bad too.” He replied. Then he lifted his large fist up to his mouth and coughed into it. Miss Terhue could see that his eyes were slightly bloodshot, but that could simply be from taking a few too many sips of his wares.

Miss Terhue told her brother that she’d be back to get a drink, but first she would need to go to the bathroom to fix her hair.

Right after Miss Terhue went to straighten up, Mister Hue pulled up to the pub for his usual afternoon drink. As he walked through the door Frank coughed again, but looked up as Mister Hue was approaching the bar.

“’Ey Mister Hue, rea’y ‘or yer fav’rite pint o’ scotch?”

Mister Hue went to the Feisty Flagon every day, so it’s no wonder that Frank knew exactly what he wanted to drink. Mister Hue sat down at the bar and took the mug with a tip of his bowler hat.

As Mister Hue start sipping his scotch, Miss Terhue had already fixed up her brown hair and had started out of the back room. When she heard her brother’s question to Mister Hue, she glared, because she knew that Frank knew that she didn’t drink ale.

“All I wan’ed ‘as a noice glass ‘f lem’nade, bu’ no, ‘e wants meh ‘o drink ‘ome o’ tha’ nasty al’o’hol!” she said with malice.

She stormed towards the counter, as she did so both Frank and Mister Hue looked her was, because even considering how noisy pubs are, you couldn’t ignore her stomping. When she got to the counter Frank said, “Emma, lem’e ‘troduce meh good fri’nd Misteh ‘Ue.”

He then turned to Mister Hue and said, “Seamus, thi’ ‘s m’ sis’, Miss Ter’ue.” Mister Hue sat up a little straighter, and Miss Terhue blushed a bit, realizing this was who her brother was talking to. Then she sat down next to Mister Hue, and they talked about what a day it had been.
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