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A short spat between two very different friends. An assignment for my playwriting class. |
A Married Horse of a Different Color… Lights up on a messy and slightly dingy apartment. Books and knickknacks are scattered everywhere. Two girls are sting on the couch which has stacks of magazines piled on it. The walls have Japanamation posters and one Matrix poster on them.. It looks like a boys college apartment. The girls look very out of place. One of the girls has her very long hair down with a necklace pinned at the top of her head, the pendant hanging in the middle of her forehead. She’s talking in a very high pitched voice—her hands waving madly as she talks. Jennifer So Ryan tells me that if I don’t get online soon a sorcerer is going to take over Gespa! Sara And what is Gespa? Jennifer My online town I’ve created. Sara Right. Continue. Jennifer Well, I had to get to class, but I also knew I had to save Gespa so I skipped biochem and gathered with my online buds and we formed a blockade so the sorcerers couldn’t get to us! Sara Jen, you skipped biochem again? Jennifer Sara, it was an emergency! Sara Right. So how’s Ryan? Not contributing to the household chores I see. Jennifer We’ve been very busy. Sara Right, saving your online town. Jennifer Drop it Sara. Sara Sorry. How bout I help you clean up a bit for when Ryan gets back from his LAN party. Jennifer Yeah, okay. They begin to pick stuff up, Sara obviously enjoying herself a lot more than Jennifer. Sara So let’s start over, how are you and Ryan doing really? Jennifer Marriage is weird. Sara That’s profound, Jen. Explain please. Jennifer It’s harder than I expected. You have to adjust to how the other person is used to living and them to you. I can get so (she wrings her hands trying to explain) about stupid stuff. Leaving his toothbrush in the shower kind of stuff, ya know? But then he comes home from class and we play our game on our computers together and everything is okay. (She pauses for a moment thoughtfully, then glances sideways at Sara) It’s so much more fun than dating cause of all the mad and crazy scrunkin’! Sara AHHHHHHH!!!! Remember how we made a vow not to talk about you and Ryan’s sex life?! Jennifer (giggling) Yeah I know, just wanted to watch you squirm. Sara (shuddering) Okay, new topic- glad you and Ryan are happily married. How’s Stacy? I haven’t talked to her since the wedding. Jennifer I dunno Sara What do you mean? Jennifer I haven’t talked to her in a while. Sara Oh. Did you guys have a falling out or something? Jennifer No. Ryan and I just don’t get out much. Sara Right. Why not? Wait if the answer is scrunkin’ I don’t want to hear it. Actually, lie to me so I don’t have to hear you say “nothing” and know that it means sex. Jennifer It isn’t cause of that. We just have fun being here by ourselves with our computers and our games. Sara You don’t hang out with any of your friends anymore? Jennifer Not really. I’m kind of sick of my college friends. I miss you guys from high school. Sara Oh. Well I miss you too, but I still hang out with my friends at school. Just because you miss someone doesn’t mean you have to be a hermit. Jennifer I’m not a hermit! I have Ryan and my online friends! Sara Jen! Those people aren’t real! Jennifer Hey! Ryan is VERY real. Sara Okay right, your husband is real, but those online friends of yours- Jennifer Are perfectly real too; they just happen to live far away. Sara Can you reach out and pinch them?! Jennifer Well no, and I probably wouldn’t even if I could- Sara JEN! Focus! You need to spend time with your friends. Jennifer Sara, back off. I spend time with Ryan and my friends in class. We can’t all be perfect like you. Sara I never said I was- Jennifer And furthermore I’m sick of you judging everything I do! Sara I don’t- Jennifer Yes you do. My apartment, my decorating sense, my fashion choices. You never give me a compliment, you just say “It’s very Jennifer.” Do you think I don’t know what that means? I know it means that you think I’m weird. And maybe I am weird, but appreciate me for who I am—not who I’m not. I don’t want to be you Sara. Have you ever sat down and thought that despite all my oddities and weirdness that I’m the one with a husband? Maybe that’s why you’re so critical. You’re jealous. Sara Right, I’m jealous of you and Mr. Socially Inept. Jen, I’m sorry you feel like I’ve been judging you, but that gives you NO reason to treat me like this. Jennifer Treat you- Sara Shut up okay? It’s my turn to speak. Why do you and all of our high school group seem to think that because I’m not married yet I’m jealous of all of you? You do realize that we’re only juniors in college right? I don’t WANT to be married yet. I know it’s a hard concept for you and all my other Susie Homemaker friends to realize, but I have my senior year to think about. Not to mention, my career and my post graduation plans. There isn’t room for me to take in any consideration of someonelse’s plans right now. Yes I’m a little bummed that I don’t have a boyfriend, but usually I’m okay. I’m sick of you and everyone I know being a constant reminder that I’m not with the one person I loved. I’m sick of you all rubbing it in my face that your relationships have all worked and mine was ruined by a blond freshman. So maybe I’m jealous of that, but I’m not jealous of your marriage. Jennifer Well it still doesn’t give you the right to be unsupportive. Sara It doesn’t give you the right to be insensitive. They glare at each other for a moment and then turn away angrily. They look around the room to realize that they’ve cleaned the place up in their fury with each other. Jennifer begins to giggle and Sara soon follows. Eventually they each can hardly get a breath out. Jennifer We cleaned the house! Sara I know! Why is it so funny!? Jennifer I dunno! Sara Hey, I’m sorry I was unsupportive. Jennifer I’m sorry I was insensitive. Do you want me to write nasty Japanese words on Mark’s car the next time I visit you and Clair in Abilene? Sara No, I’d rather you wrote it on Amber’s car. Jennifer Blond freshman? Sara Indeed. Jennifer How bout Chili’s? Sara But what about Ryan? Jennifer He needs to realize I need to spend time with real people. You want to know a secret? Sara Shoot. Jennifer I get sick of playing computer games. Sara (laughing and grabbing Jen’s coat form the closet) Come on let’s get out of here. Jennifer Real people I can pinch—here I come! Sara But don’t please. Hey Jen? Jennifer Yeah? Sara I really like your necklace like that. Lights out. |