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a poetic reflection of my life |
The blessed escape of sleep eludes me this day, the sun, so bright burns through my eyelids. I try to shut myelf away, in my dim excile, with Buddah, my only companion. He watches as I struggle to enter the dreamless state I despratly wish to be a part of. His golden eyes follow me while I try to force the light away from my self apointed suclusion. I fail, though my eyes are closed I can still very clearly see this light that tortures me. Even now, as I lie here I wish to rise and write this out. Like a vampire I slip into the shadows, away from the light. I turn, my eyes comming to rest upon the small bottle near the lamp beside me. I lift it into my hand and as I hold it, the contents inside shift allowing me to hear how full it is. I open it and look inside, the small blue pills taunt me. Offering me the release I seek. I shake one out and swallow it dry, yet the others still tease. I will not submit, I lift the many layers I have placed over the glass that seperates my sanctuary from the out side world. The dreaded light that I hide from floods my oasis, burning my eyes. Tears run dowm me cheeks as I try to peer through the filthy window-pane. I push against the frame the pills clutched tighly in my trembling fist. Lifting the window open, the wood groans, chips of paint flake off to join the dust motes drifting through the stale air. A gust of fridged air enters, buring my face the same way the sun had burned my eyes. I thrust my hand out into the world, and let go of the bottle I hold. I do not pause to hear it land for I am already closing the window and blocking out the light again. I bury myself beneath the covers, and peer out at Buddah, he seems pleased with me. I embrace him with all my heart, letting him know the love I have for him. Finally I sleep... |