More Than Just Vegetables--Chapter Uno

A year ago, in the refrigerator next door:

The alliance was breaking up. The meat drawer had started building biological weapons, and the rumor among intelligence agencies was that their target was the vegetable drawer....


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Ernie the Carrot went out for his daily jog around the parimeter of the drawer. He was three-quarters done, and sweating madly when the ground burst up around his feet. A box half as tall as him flew over him and landed with a thud. Displayed along each of its faces was a word in bold, "RAID."

He was standing still, staring at the box, so engrossed in his thoughts, that he didn't notice a liquid seeping out of the bottom, coming toward him, until it touched his foot.

He began to feel sick instantly, and passed out.


He woke up in the hospital. There was a buzzing in his ears. Once he got used to it, he heard an arguement in hushed voices outside his door.

"He's not gonna make it!"
"I know that! But we still shouldn't tell him!"
"Why not? It's not like he's gonna live long enough for it to make much difference."
"Have some respect, dammit. People don't like to be miserable right up til when they die."

At that, a voice snorted and a Dr. Potato burst in.

"Sir you have about 2 and a half minutes to live."

Ernie blinked.

"Rah-eed," uttered Ernie.
"Excuse me?" asked the doctor.
"It's what was on the box."
"Oh. Yes, you're not the only patient suffering from that death-juice."
"Bye."
And with that, Ernie died.

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In the Blue House, President Frank Artichoke was reading reports of a biological threat to the Veggie Drawer. Across the room, Jeffy, his head of security stared intensely out the window.
Suddenly, the door burst open and half a dozen smoky-link sausages in SWAT jumpsuits, armed with Uzis stormed in...

To be continued


*see i told u its only Chapter 1

by Fried Toaster