The Mirror

The mirror

I woke up in darkness and found myself staring at the same mirror I had been staring at the night before.

She was there, again, that girl, with long, dark hair that swished against the wind. Her black, long eyelashes curled up in an awkward way, and every time I sighed, they bent down one by one, making a beautiful rhythm. A sound that compelled me to adore her, to want to hug her as tight as I could and never let go…

The girl had thin, dark eyebrows that stood majestically upon her black, disturbing eyes, eyes that never blinked, eyes that kept staring at me like thin knives cutting my flesh, but the more pain they gave me, the greater my desire towards her seemed to be.

The haunting girl had a small nose from which I could somehow feel the warm air delicately coming out. Her lips were thin and colourless but strangely beautiful. She had the palest skin I had ever seen, almost white as in shock, but if shock had been the cause of this, she stood behind a veil of indifference.

The mysterious girl’s neck was thin and extremely long and elegant, as if she wore numerous, invisible brass coils, like those stunning African women named “Giraffe Women”.
She wore some black rags that fell down to her knees and wrapped her small figure thousands of times, making her look even skinnier. Her arms were long and thin and her legs appeared not strong enough to resist her own weight, nevertheless, she stood rigid with unbelievable elegance, waiting and waiting for what seemed to never appear…

Her hands looked like friendly spiders neatly covered in snow.
Suddenly she looked up to the once purple night sky that had slowly turned red, a horrible, yet exciting death’s red, and closed her eyes cautiously. She opened her mouth and said in a melodic, beautiful tone “we are strangely apart, yet strangely close together.” She then vanished making everything disappear with her and I found myself staring at the ceiling of my bedroom, in my freezing, uncomfortable bed…

My eyes began to close, I could hear a distant sound coming in and out of my nose. I felt strange; without energy, with no hope, useless, somehow dead… Memories began to invade my head, I couldn’t focus well but I knew she was there, again… I could feel her presence slowly penetrating into my body, I knew she needed me… or was it I that needed her?... I madly wanted to see her again, I wanted to be with her every moment of my life, to never leave her side, to stroke her hair, to hear her voice, to feel the warm air delicately coming out of her nose, I wanted to wake up but I couldn’t! I began to cry, but I still couldn’t wake up… I cried and cried but nothing happened…

I opened my eyes feeling the coldness of the day that awaited me behind my fully closed curtains. I stood up and opened the curtains, it was raining! I love rain, but today the things that rain had to offer to me, such as rain warping wood, misting up windows, making windscreen wipers squeak and drag, seemed insignificant, that although used to make my life simply happy just a few days ago were nothing but a waste of time. I felt as if yesterday I loved to enjoy rain trickling down my neck, making me shiver and rotate my shoulder blades continuously, making warm drips race down my spine, but now as I thought about it I felt depressed and asked myself how could that make me happy? I remember when I loved splashing through puddles, but today this wasn’t what I desired, what I felt was as if a puddle was splashing me with unhappiness, insipidness, melancholy… I looked outside the window and visualised big, grey clouds, I looked beyond at the pavement which was horribly soaked with rain and saw myself laughing meanly at the grey clouds that threw lightning at me, missing their target every time, the sight of me enjoying what rain had to offer made me feel ill and thoroughly depressed. Sensations began to surround me, I felt the humidity of a shop full of people refusing to stand in the rain, I took my T-shirt off, trying to release myself from that horrible yet adorable (just a few days ago) sensation. I began conscious of the rain reaching my roof and I felt as if every droplet was a sharp knife thrown at high speed from somewhere up there, from someone who wanted to kill me, to torture me, to simply destroy me… I couldn’t stand the noise any more, I screamed as if wanting the rain to shut up, but nothing happened. I felt strange, why was I suddenly feeling like this? Why did all the wonderful things I used to love about rain make me feel like this? What was happening to me? Why wasn’t rain lending a hand to me and guiding me into a world of happiness, as it used to do? Every answer to these questions was a salty, warm tear that rolled down my freezing cheek. I sat on my bed wanting to disappear into thin air, asking myself the same questions over and over again trying to gain an approvable answer. Suddenly I knew why… there was something I needed tremendously… I needed her… She was the only person that could make me happy nowadays, and at night time when everything vanished and I found myself back in my bed it seemed as if half of me died… the only thing I could do was step inside the mirror and leave my life, but I didn’t care, I didn’t care about my family anymore, nor my friends, I didn’t care if rain was ever to cross my life again, I simply didn’t care… I just wanted to be with her…

That night I walked inside the mirror, it was the strangest sensation I had ever felt in my life, I felt as if I emitted a beautiful silver light, I touched myself and my whole body trembled like the see beneath the wind, then I was transformed into millions of tiny clouds that quickly went back into place and completed the puzzle of my body. I walked beneath the purple night sky with such lightness that I felt as if I was flying. Then I saw her, she was standing in front of me, but somehow she looked like a vague image and my desire towards her was nothing but intrigue. I felt disappointment growing inside my body, why didn’t she attract me anymore?, why didn’t the reality of being with her make me happy?... I cautiously tried to touch her, but before I could feel the softness of her hair, which I had been dreaming about every night, my hand touched something hard, it was the mirror… I knew what this meant, she was outside and I was inside the mirror… Tears began to invade my eyes, but it wasn’t because I was no longer with her, I felt something else… I felt betrayed, angry, sad, trapped… but what I most felt was what I had to do. Go for the next victim…