The pregnancy of a forty-something woman |
Month 1 I was 40 years old when the pregnancy test showed positive. Six months earlier I had my first miscarriage due to a high fever in the second month. Somehow, though, I felt positive about this pregnancy. It was November 14th. I had been pregnant for a month and did not know. Yes, there were feelings of nausea. But I credited those to the constant feeling of nausea since I emigrated from the tropics seven years ago. Yes, there were the sore breasts. But I credited those to my menstrual period, which was always preceeded by a week of sore breasts. I was unemployed and a full-time student at the university. My husband works full-time at the university and is a part-time Masters student. Month 2 My husband and I love healthy foods so pregnancy eating was not a significant sacrifice for us. Then, in December I was afflicted with morning-sickness. It lasted six weeks, just as the textbook said it would. Meanwhile, my poor husband would come home from work and cook while I hid from the scents of it. My doctor's visit showed that all was well with me and the baby. I attended my classes at the university with barely-concealed glee. I wanted to shout the good news from the rooftops, but I couldn't because of the last miscarriage. I had told everyone the good news a month into the pregnancy. It was traumatic to then tell them, mere days later, that I had lost the baby. I declined to attend the Christmas party of a friend/relative because of morning-sickness. A mutual friend of ours called and badgered, probed and questioned me to exhaustion about the possibility of my pregnancy. December 14th I completed my second month of pregnancy and seventh semester at the university. Final exams were done under severe nausea. I was heading out in a few days to spend two weeks with my mother, who lives fourteen hours away. Month 3 Upon seeing my mother I requested that she take me to a store for a sweet/sour prune used in the tropics to ease morning-sickness. She knew immediately I was pregnant. She refused to talk of it for fear of blighting the newly forming baby. The visit was phenomenal. My mother cooked all my childhood favourite foods, and provided me with the love, comfort and support that a pregnant woman desires from her mother. On January 10th I heard the baby's heartbeat. The doctor said it was strong, and the baby was here to stay. I was elated. Month 4 The friend/relative of the Christmas party was in six of my classes each week. She saw my belly getting bigger and bigger and was hurt I would not share the news. Further, the mutual friend had gloated that she knew I was pregnant. Mutual friend had called every day since the Christmas party and badgered and probed about pregnancy tests done, when, doctor's visits, when, what was said, my physical health, why...It was awful. Eventually I admitted the pregnancy to the friend/relative. At my birthday party in the end of January I was sure my in-laws could see the distinct bulge of the belly. But they said nothing. I told them some days later. I was congratulated with little emotion. They thought I was too old. I met and married my husband when I was thirty-five and he thirty-seven. We had a blast dating each other until we decided to expand our family - just the once. The baby was planned and timely. Month 4 In |