Propaganda; Kill the Whales

Whales: the scourge of the seas
My friends, I would like to bring to your attention today about a scourge that has afflicted our waters and threatened the existence of millions of innocent wildlife. These heinous creatures are as even so bold as to not evolve into a land dweller like all its other mammalian cousins, with the exception of their minions, the dolphin. Yes this evil creature is none other than the whale. For years people have been fed the story of the “gentle giant”, and been forced to listen to their “songs” in order to fall asleep; but I say these songs should strike fear in our hearts and send our children screaming the opposite direction. These are no gentle giants as the people that have fallen under their spell would put it, no these creature are the bane of the high seas and dare I say our way of life, this evil cannot be allowed to exist anymore!!
The truth of the whale’s evil doings starts with the simple fact that they are a violent, dangerous creature to the smaller more defenseless creature in the sea. In one pass the evil doer that has became known as the Blue Whale, can kill millions of plankton that are just trying to have a good time and raise their little planktonettes in the sea off the coasts of our countries. Yes you might say that every living thing has to eat, and yes you are correct, but if the Blue Whale would’ve had the common decency to evolve with the rest of the mammals then he too would be enjoy the bounties of the forest, and the plains, not just the sea in which they take our sea food on a regular basis. No, my friends this creature is more of a danger to the world than we would know if some one doesn’t step up and say something about it now, the evil cannot be allowed to exist anymore!!!
These creatures are dangerous to our way of life in the fact that they threaten our fishing industry, therefore threatening our food supply. Each year hundreds of drift nets are damaged when whale and their minions, the Dolphin, purposely entangle themselves in the fisherman’s net. These nets are not cheap and the smaller “mom and pop” operations have been ran out of business because of these heinous acts. Yes the bleeding hearts will say that the whales can’t see the nets and get entangled in them by “accident”, but tell me this friend can you see over five miles worth of net? I know I can. So I say to you next time you open up your can of Chicken of the Seas to feed your hungry child, tell them to smile there might be one less evil creature in the sea, and he tastes good. If we eat them this evil cannot exist anymore!!!
Another point about the evil that is the whale is that they endanger national defense. Yes you heard me we are in danger of being over run by the red bastards from the east because of the creature called the whale. The navy has been in the process of developing high powered low frequency sonar capable of picking up Russian nuclear ballistic submarines as they approach our coast to unleash a nuclear holocaust on us and the bleeding hearts say they can’t use it because it gives whales a nasty headache (Miller 382-383). I say that when your children are being dissolved in a fiery nuclear holocaust, thank the whale. Because such technologies aren’t allowed to exist, the communists will overrun us in a matter of weeks because we had no warning of the impending doom, but we would have, thank the whale. Slaughter the whales, this evil cannot be allowed to exist anymore!!!!
As if all this evil wasn’t enough then hear me out friends, the whale is also a vicious animal that poses a threat to your children and loved ones. The killer whales (no, this name isn’t a coincidence) of the artic oceans have been known to savagely attack the cute and innocent seal population on the basis that they call them “food”, but let me ask you this would you eat your dog? Yes that’s right, the seal is akin to the “fido” of the seas, and in no way are they harmful to Humans. Yes they could produce a nasty bite to you if you tried to hurt them but so can a squirrel, but this is nothing like a bite of a two ton demon of the sea. The killer whales aren’t killing the seals for food, no friends; I say it’s their own sick and twisted blood sport. This is a sport in which they don’t even do it for food or trophy, no friends they do it because they like the taste of innocent blood, yes that’s right, they are the werewolves of the ocean. Imagine that you took little Timmy out for a nice Sunday afternoon swim and there he is splashing in the frigid water and having fun, when suddenly “Blam”, killer whale. Of course the bleeding hearts would say that little Timmy looked like a seal to the whale, but like I have stated, it’s all fun and games for these fiendish creatures; and excuses don’t bring little Timmy back. I tell you friends they are preparing for an attack all over the world; it’s only a matter of time before small pleasure vehicles become the targets of these massive devils. It’s time to protect our children; we must destroy this evil and smite them from the face of our planet!!!!!
The last point I have friends is to slaughter the whales if for none other than to save them from themselves. Yes that’s right from themselves. These heinous creatures regularly will purposely beach themselves on our beaches in their own twisted form of chemical warfare. You see they think that if they can produce several hundred rotting corpses by our towns, than they can destroy us with a biological epidemic. No, they aren’t getting confused like some people like to say, they can be akined to the Germans and their use of chemical and biological weapons in World War one(www.fas.org). The whales are not stupid creatures and I’m telling you folks this is not at all a coincidence what is happening.
So as you can see folks I have proven to you that the whale should be killed and I’m now asking you to help me in this quest. Yes people this must be done for all of mankind’s sake. If we don’t band together now then tomorrow they may be crawling up our shores to attack us,
and all I can say is that you were warned. This evil has to be destroyed friends, our survival depends on it!!!!