Death is my boon

I closed the door very lightly being precautious.Infront of me laid a empty classroom yet clumsy due to the tables and chairs.Near the first window stood a large boy looking out.He was tall and very overweight.
He wasnt aware of my coming and stood very still,his face not visible.I went slowly towards him and just as I stood right behind him I whispered into his ears 'I have got it.'
Shocked,he turned towards me his eyes red and swollen due to crying for long hours.
'What?' he asked but I believe he knew the answer.
'I have got it!'
'What "it"?'
'Pottasium cyanide.'I whispered.
It somehow made him shiver.His eyes widened.
'Where?how?'
'From the college lab,the have all the stuff.'
'But how did you get they have cameras all around'
'I didnt the sweeper got me for 10 bucks.'
'Dont they check the beakers,I mean its important?'
'What are you scared of?They cacthing you?Where will they search for you in heaven?'
'Do you believe I will go to heaven?'Now turning towards the window again.
'No.Suiciders dont go to heaven.'
'Then where do they go?Hell?'
'I dont know.'
Now i took out the beaker i was holding pessed against a cork over it.
'Take this.'I said.
He turned towards me keeping his head down.There were tears over his cheek.He took the beaker carefully looking at iits contents.He gulped.
I forwarded the hankerchief.'Dont blow your nose with it I want it back.'
Ignoring my last line he looked straight into my eyes now 'Is it a sin?'His eyes questioning mine.
'No.From here you will go straight to my God he will hold you and bless you.'
'Will I be free Anna?Will I be free?'jerking me hardly and screaming at the top of his voice.
Walking slowly away out of shock and fear and not looking at him I said 'Yes.There will be no more pain,no more misery,no more heartache and no more this body.There will only be love filled in your soul.The will be dance and mystical music and ecstacy will fill you.'
He now dropped to his knees and dropped his head to the floor and cried.The most painful cry I had ever heard.
Then after he had finished after long time he looked up.'Where do you go after death?'
'To heaven all go to heaven'then gulping a bit I continued 'You know our father awaits us there.He would you hug you in the most tenderly and motherly way and he will cry with you shedding away all the sadness and fear from you.Then taking your hand he will walk with you to another cloud a very fluffy one.There you will both sit and have most delicious food and wine and you will all your lost dear ones.Your mother also.'
At the mention of the last word he cried harder burying his face again in the floor'
'Is it true?'After a long pause.
'Maybe.' I spoke truthfully.
'I am not scared I will go.'He declared at last.
'Thank you,Anna.You go now I will drink alone.Run away.'
I looked into his eyes and saw courage in them.I thought to hug him or kiss him or cry with him now.I did not wish to leave him.
Maybe he read my mind and declared 'Its my decision and not your's or anyone's fault. Go now and here is your 10 dollars.' I stepped back I didnt want to take it.
'Take it its your job.'
I slowly stepped towards him and took the money.I didnt hug him nor did I cry with him I just moved away with the money and a thoart filled with tears.
I didnt know if he drank it just after i closed the door or later.
Readers its a plea not to think him as a loser neither as a winner but as a strrugling ship in storm and at last letting go of all struggle.I never came to know of the reason he did it,maybe it was all mixed up.

May his soul rest in peace.