Behind His Eyes

Behind His Eyes

Mickelson puts on his second green jacket and heads for the door. Stopping just short he rethinks his wardrobe choice and decides to head back upstairs. The green jacket comes off and is replaced by a blue one of the same style. Roger Mickelson stands in front of the mirror starring at himself. This may be the biggest decision of his day and he just can’t risk making the wrong one. The blue jacket comes back off and on goes a third green jacket, identical to the first two. Starring at himself in the mirror again something in Roger’s stomach tells him that this is the wrong jacket. He goes to the closet and opens the fake wood doors revealing a whole closet full of identical green and blue jackets. The stitching, the buttons, the crest, all the jackets are the same. The decision shouldn’t be hard, green or blue, but for Roger Mickelson it is. Roger decides the green jacket and heads back downstairs, finally ready to leave. He approaches the door, touches all three sides of the frame, and grabs the handle. He counts to ten then turns the handle and pulls open the large green door.

Standing in front of Roger is a short overweight woman in her forties. She is dressed in a nurses outfit and her name tag reads Shirley.

“Are you ready for dinner Roger?”

Roger stares out the open door at the sidewalk just beyond his green yard. There is a little blonde girl on a pink bike riding by. Roger smiles remembering the days when he was a carefree child, playing games and pretending that he was in another place and time.

The orderly took Roger by the arm and led him down the hallway to the lunch room. She sat Roger at an empty table and went to go get him his food.

Roger started walking down the street on his way to the park. He watched as two squirrels chased each other around an oak tree that sat on the edge of the park.. He hummed a little as he walked up to a picnic table near the playground. Roger sat watching the kids playing and longed to be child again and to run and play with other kids.

Shirley brought back Roger’s tray of food, macaroni and cheese, some carrots and a milk. Another orderly came over and sat with Shirley and Roger.

“How’s he doing today?”

“He’s still the same. Doesn’t talk, just stares off. It almost seems like he is somewhere else. His eyes just look so far off, but I guess after what he’s been through though, it’s no doubt he’d be a little messed up.”

“Yea I guess your right,” the other orderly replied.

Roger sat at the table eavesdropping on a nearby conversation between a child’s parents. Roger felt bad for the kid, his parents were upset with his poor performance in school and were discussing ways to remedy the problem. The sun sank low behind the big oak tress and Roger became aware of how late it had became. He stood up, stretched, and began the slow walk back to his house. There were no squirrels chasing each other, there was no little girl on her bike riding around, Roger was alone. He was alone like he had been for the last five years. He has been alone ever since he fell asleep behind the steering wheel of his car and ran into a kindergarten class fieldtrip killing three young children. Now he just goes about his day, picking his close, eating his food, and watching the kids at the park, longing for a way to go back and change his mistake.

622 words