forever

i drop to my knees
and start to pray
to the something i
don't even believe in
climb in bed and wait
wait for the something
that comes in the night
every night
like a knife
against your throat
or a gun to your head
i wait
he walks in
shuts the door
and stands above me
he pulls back the covers
and tells me to stand
he pulls the straps down
off my shoulders
so slow and evil
i cringe
he undoes his belt
and lays me down
he lays next to me
he finishes his dirty deed
he tells me
to keep his secret
forever
how short forever will be
he leaves
i go into the bathroom
and open the drawer
i fill the tub
climb in
and get what i got from the drawer
i press it to my wrist
slowly slicing
the cold metal sliding
through my flesh
it drips
ever so slowly
seeping away
like my childhood did
gone
forever
how short that was