Family Matters

Family Matters

There was a brief silence around the dinner table.

“Mommy?” A young girl of about seven-years-old spoke up hesitantly, glancing quickly from her plate to her mother, as if she were afraid of something.

Her mother grimaced slightly; she had an inkling of what might be coming. “What, sweetie?” she asked, stifling a yawn.

“Will Daddy be there tomorrow?”

“Yes, sweetie,” she reassured her daughter, reaching over to pat her hand gently. “He’ll be there.”

“But what if he isn’t?”

“Lily, you’re such a baby,” her sister suddenly scolded, rolling her eyes at her from across the table. “Why does it matter if Daddy is there or not?”

Lily’s bottom lip started quivering as shiny tears began forming in her eyes and their mother looked sharply at her second daughter. “Annie, don’t say things like that.”

“But you know he’s not going to go,” Annie protested, her angry behavior hiding the hurt she hid behind her eyes.

“Annie – ”

“When was the last time he came to one of my soccer practices?”

“Annie – ”

“He always promises to go but he never does!”

“Annie!”

By this time, Lily had started crying; she was a pitiful sight, really. Her head was bent down and her shiny blonde hair hung like a curtain around her face, concealing her tears, and her hands were clasped together in her lap, just like the little child that she was. Her mother could detect slight trembling in her shoulders and she hurried to her daughter’s side and took her into her arms.

“Lily, honey, don’t cry,” she pleaded, rubbing her back. “Why are you crying?”

“Because Daddy might not come!” came the muffled reply.

“Daddy will go, okay? He said he would go and he will.” Inwardly, the mother’s heart ached at the lie she had just told but she knew she couldn’t very well tell her daughter the truth. The truth would only break her little heart.

“But what if he was lying?”

She brought her youngest daughter to face her and brushed a thin strand of blonde hair out of her eyes. “Daddy’s coming home soon and you can ask him again, okay? You can make sure he’ll go. You wait for him, okay?”

Lily nodded.

Her mother patted her on the shoulder and tweaked her nose. “Okay, you’re done with your food?”

She nodded again.

“Go upstairs and play, okay? Wait for Daddy to come home.”

“I don’t have to do homework?”

“Not right now.” She smiled. “You can play with your toys, okay?”

Lily grinned widely. “Okay!” she chirped, before scooting out of her chair and skipping up the stairs.

Her mother watched her go before turning to face her other daughter. Annie was glaring at her with her arms folded across her chest.

“What was that for, Mommy? You lied to her!”

She sighed tiredly. “Annie, let’s not talk about that right now.”

“Mommy, you never want to talk about it! Can’t you see we both hate him?”

“Lily doesn’t hate him – ”

“But I do!” she retorted. “I hate him! I hate you too! I hate you because you keep lying to us, just like he does!”

Her mother flinched. “Annie Lunde, you do not talk to your mother like that!”

Annie looked like she was about to say something but decided against it. “Sorry,” she said sullenly. And just like her sister, she looked as if she were about to cry, but turned away to hide her tears.

“Oh, Annie, I’m sorry,” her mother said, taking a step and embracing her daughter. She stroked her hair. “It’ll be okay.”

“What happened to before?” Annie asked through her tears. “We used to have so much fun together and now it’s like he doesn’t have enough time for us anymore. I don’t even see him that much anymore!” She let out a choked sigh. “I just want him to be here now. I miss him.”

“Shh, it’ll be okay,” her mother said soothingly.

Annie pulled away and looked down at the floor. “He’s not going to make it to my soccer game, is he,” she said dejectedly.

The woman inwardly cursed her husband for causing her daughters such misery. “You can ask him again after Lily, okay? Maybe he just might be able to go. He really wants to go, you know.”

Annie hesitated. “Really?” Her voice still held the tiniest glimpse of hope.

She smiled down at her daughter. “Really.”

Her daughter took a deep breath. “Okay.”

Just then, the two of them heard a key in the door and the doorknob jiggled. The door swung open, revealing a tall wind-swept man, who appeared to be soaking wet. His wife gasped and rushed to him. “Ray! What happened to you? Why are you soaking wet? Didn’t you bring an umbrella? Oh, I told you to bring one! Every time it rains you always come home wet!”

He only laughed, despite the fact that he was cold and dirty. “I know, it’s my fault. I thought I could beat the rain, but I guess I was wrong.”

She smiled and turned around. “Lily! Your father’s home!” she called up the stairs. She turned back to her husband. “She has something important she wants to ask you.”

Her husband grinned. “Really?”

Just then, the sound of footsteps came thundering downstairs as Lily’s petite form appeared. “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” she shrieked. When she reached him, she threw her arms around him as if she didn’t care he was wet. He only laughed and bent down to hug her properly.

“Hey, squirt, what’s up? Mommy says you want to ask me something. Actually, wait. I bought something for you.” He rummaged around in his bag before emerging with a pink stuffed rabbit wearing a tutu. Lily squealed when she saw it and grabbed it, hugging it tightly to her chest.

“I love it!” she continued. She then threw her arms around him again. “I love you, Daddy! You’re the best!”

He chuckled and it was then that he noticed his other daughter standing behind her mother. Annie stood in the shadows, watching the scene before her. He motioned for her to come over. “Come here, Annie, is that any way to greet your dad?”

She had a mixture of confusion and doubt expressed on her face but she came closer anyway.

“That’s better,” he said, grabbing her into a hug. He pulled back and gazed at the two of them. “Have I ever told you two how much I love you? You guys are awesome.”

Lily looked down sadly. “Daddy,” she started. “I have a ballet performance tomorrow. Can – can you go?”

He patted her on the head. “Of course I can,” he said.

Her eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Yep, and I’ll even bring you another present. How’s that?”

“Okay!” she squealed, clapping her small hands together with glee.

“What time is it?”

Her smile faltered, as if she were afraid the timing wouldn’t work out for him. “It’s – it’s at seven at night,” she whispered. “You can come right? That’s not too late?”

“Of course not. I’ll be out of work then. I’ll come, okay? Don’t worry about it.” He kissed her on the forehead and turned to Annie. “Annie, what’s wrong? You’re not usually so quiet like this. Come on, you’re twelve! Twelve-year-olds should be bouncing around! What happened? Did someone hurt you? Here, I’ve got something for you too.” He took out a small soccer figurine. Upon closer inspection, she realized it was a figurine of her favorite soccer player. She smiled widely before also throwing her arms around him. “Can I ask you something?” she whispered in his ear.

He sat down more comfortably on the bottom step of the stairs. “Shoot.”

“I have a soccer game tomorrow afternoon. It’s right after school. Do you think you could come watch?”

“Oh, honey, I don’t know about that,” he began apologetically. “You know I’m working then – ”

“You’re always working!” she shouted suddenly, pushing away from him. “You’re always at work! You never come to any of my games. Do you even know what position I play? Why is it always Mommy and Lily that comes? Lily cries too much and it’s embarrassing!” Tears were spilling over her eyes.

Lily had also begun crying and her father quickly nudged her towards her mother, shooting his wife a glance. He then hugged his daughter again. “Annie, look, I’ll go to your game tomorrow, okay?”

She stopped crying to look back at him with hope. “Really? You’re not kidding?”

He shook his head. “I’m not kidding. I’ll just go in early tomorrow and tell my boss I have to leave early, okay?”

She nodded, now embarrassed with her breakdown. He patted her on the head before standing up. “I’m going to go grab something to eat and then go to bed, okay?”

Lily let go of her mother and looked up to her father. “You can’t play with me?”

“I’m sorry, Lily, but I have to go to bed early or I won’t be able to get up early tomorrow. And if I don’t wake up early, then I won’t be able to go to your sister’s game. And then most likely, I can’t go to your performance either. So you want me to sleep, right?”

She nodded.

“Good girl.” He leaned over to give his wife a kiss before disappearing into the kitchen.

“Mommy?” The little girl tugged at her mother’s sleeve. “Are you crying? Why are you crying? Are you sad?”

She blinked quickly before bending down. “I was crying but it’s not because I was sad. I was crying because I was happy.”

Lily was confused. “Why would you cry if you were happy?”

Her mother only chuckled and shook her head. “Maybe you’ll understand when you grow up. But right now, you should finish your homework and then go to bed, okay? You too, Annie.”

Lily skipped off happily while Annie still looked a bit dubious. “He’s going to go, right?” she whispered.

“He will. Don’t worry,” she reassured her. At least, I hope he will.

*~*

During half-time, Annie had taken a swig of water and had wiped the sweat off her forehead before she glanced towards the vast array of lounge chairs set up on the side of the field. Her eyes immediately sought out her mother’s bright pink lounge chair and smiled. She held up a hand and waved to her mother. Her mother smiled back and waved; then she motioned to Lily to wave too. Her eyes scanned the area around her mom but there was no one else. Bitterness grew within her, along with disappointment and sadness. Why had she believed he would come? Just because he had said so didn’t mean he would. She was angry with him for lying to her when she had known he wouldn’t come.

She sighed as she trotted back out on the field. So why was she feeling sad? Had there really been a tiny glimmer of hope that he would come?

*~*

Lily’s mother clapped along with the rest of the parents at the performance. She couldn’t believe how beautiful her daughter had been up there on stage. She watched as her daughter came running towards her with a huge grin on her face.

“Lily!” she cried, hugging her. “You did a great job! I can’t believe how wonderful you were up there! You’re really growing up to be a very pretty young lady!”

Her cheeks flushed pink and she flashed her mother a toothy grin. “Thanks Mommy!” Her eyes then moved towards the empty seat next to her. “Daddy didn’t come, did he,” she said sadly.

Her mother sighed. “I don’t know why he’s not here. Maybe he was late. Come on, let’s go home and then you can talk to Daddy.”

“Okay,” she said quietly, allowing her mother to lead her out.

*~*

The rain was pouring outside again and beating upon the window in loud taps. Car headlights swept the kitchen momentarily before disappearing. Seconds later, the door opened, revealing the same tall wet man, holding a briefcase in one hand. This time, no one ran to the door to greet him.

“Guys? Are you there? What’s wrong?” He peeked up the stairs before shaking out of his wet jacket.

His wife approached him quietly from the side and motioned to the two girls sitting quietly at the dinner table.

His expression became pained as he took off his shoes and made his way into the kitchen. “Hey, girls, how was your day?”

Neither of them said anything. They only looked sullenly down at their meal.

Lily was the first one to speak. “You didn’t come to my ballet performance,” she whined.

He sighed. “I’m so sorry, sweetie, I really meant to go. But I was about to leave when my boss told me that she really needed me. One of my important friends there got sick and my boss needed me to fix things for her.” He bent lower and peeked at her face. “You understand, right?”

She shook her head. “No!” she yelled before scampering off upstairs.

He sighed again and looked at his other daughter. “You’re mad I didn’t go to your soccer game, aren’t you, Annie?”

“You lied,” she said quietly. When he didn’t say anything, she continued on. “You lied! You said you’d go but you didn’t! You always do that! You always say you’ll go but you never do! It’s always work, work, work! Don’t you even care about us anymore?”

“Of course I care about you!” he said, shocked at her accusation. How could she even believe for a second that he didn’t care about them? “I care about you guys so much that I’m trying hard to earn money so we can live comfortably! I don’t want us to live poorly and miserably! I love you all so much!”

“I don’t believe you!” she cried vehemently, punching him in the arm before following her sister up the stairs.

He only slapped himself on the forehead and sat down in one of the chairs. His wife approached him tentatively. “You knew about this, didn’t you?” he asked quietly.

“Knew? Of course I knew!” she exclaimed. “How could I not? I live here with them every single day! You do too but you spend three-quarters of your days at work!”

He slammed his fist down on the table. “This is ridiculous! I work so I can provide money for them to live well! Why, tomorrow I have a huge meeting and if I present myself well, my salary will be raised even higher! We might be able to buy a bigger house! I bring home gifts for them and I take them places on weekends! And yet they still hate me! What more do they want?”

“They want you!” she exclaimed. “I do too. We miss you, Ray. Annie’s right. You’re always at work and you’re never here anymore. You used to play with Annie and Lily all the time when they were younger, but now you don’t have time to. And you never go to any of their games or activities. We don’t care whether we live comfortably or not. We just want you to be there with us. As long as you’re with us, everything’s okay.”

“But – but how could you possibly live comfortably if you’re poor?” he asked, staring up at his wife with a baffled expression.

She smiled thinly at him. “I just said so. I don’t care if we’re poor. As long as we’re together as a family, I’ll be happy. Happiness can’t be bought with money, Ray. The kids are suffering. They miss you. They just want to hang out with you. Sure, they love your gifts, but they love you more! They feel like you don’t love them anymore.”

“How could they say that!” he said hoarsely. “I love them more than I think I realize myself!”

“But they don’t know that! Because you’re never around anymore, they think you don’t love them anymore.”

“I…” He sighed and laid his hand down on the table. His wife leaned over and kissed him on the cheek after giving him a tight hug. “We miss you, Ray. And we still love you. Even after everything they said. We really do.” He felt her leave him and heard her footsteps become softer and softer until he heard no more.

He just sat there with his head nestled in his arms as he thought about his wife’s words and everything that had just happened. Finally, after what seemed like hours, he stood up and made his way to the phone, pressing an array of numbers.

“Hi, yes, this is Ray Lunde. I think I’m going to have to cancel on that meeting tomorrow…”

“Your children need your presence more than your presents.” – Jesse Jackson