A Letter To You

This won't make much sense to anyone else but you,I'm fully aware of that.
I have no one else to vent to.
The only reason we fight is because of her. And instead of fixing the problems we ignore them by changing the subject.
We're so alike.
If one of us gets angry, we don't vent. We let it build up.
If we're sad...we just get angry.
We feel the same about each other but we refuse to go anywhere because we're afraid of hurting our friendship.
I'm tired of being the second hand.
For once, I wish you would tell me why you are mad at me today.
You aren't controlling, you're jealous. And just because your ex's have hurt you in the past, it doesn't mean you can take it out on me.
I've been hurt, too, you know. Especially by you. But you have to trust me. I'm not going to do anything stupid.
Beside, we're just friends, remember?
I'm sorry for what happened last night. I'm sorry I exploded and I'm sorry for feeling jealous, but I think I had a reason to.
You know I love you.
You know I need you.
You know you mean everything to me.
And I don't know why I'm so scared of fighting with you...but I am. Because we just make things worse in the end.
So what is going to happen to us now?
Are we going to do what we did before, ignore each other and never talk?
I don't think I could go through that again.
-Once again, thinking about saying goodbye,
Jessica.