The Look

The writing of this story was inspired by

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Dug up from the dusty corners of my mind nearly forgotten with the passage of time.

         It was a hot July Sunday afternoon in North Fairhaven, Massachusetts. I was sitting with my brother Gary, his wife Cheryl, their two children Amber and Nicholas aged 8 and 4 and a group of their friends from the Acushnet-Wesley United Methodist Church.
         I was feeling out of place. I wasn’t exactly raised as a church going kind of girl; but I was new in town and still clinging closely to my brother’s family. It was my sister-in-law’s idea that I join them. It was her belief that religion would somehow help my brother and I deal with our father’s death which wasn’t quite so recent but we had a tough time dealing with it and I guess Cheryl was just searching for ways to ease the pain that Gary and I were feeling even eight months later. I could go into further detail but that would be another more personal story than the one I wish to relate now. In any case, my sister-in-law was the only one comfortable there, having grown up in the congregation. I was assailed with the overwhelming and obnoxious smiles and hugs of the zealous super Christian that morning. That treat was mixed in with an hour and a half’s worth of time freezing to death in my summer dress because it was 90 degrees outside and somebody dressed in a three piece wool suit decided that it was necessary to crank up the air conditioning.
         When my brother told me that we were having lunch with some of Cheryl’s old friends at Taco Bell I was less than excited about it, but what can you do in a situation like that? So there I was basking in the warmth of the sunlight feeling it caress my shoulders as it shone through the large glass window overlooking Alden Road. While out of touch with the hum of conversation going on around me, daydreaming about what exactly I can’t recall, I saw him.
         It was a physical attraction that drew my attention. A charismatic smile flashing across his face as he was animatedly conversing with two older gentlemen at a table situated near the center of the fast food dining room. Upon realizing that my gaze was fixed, I quickly averted my eyes back across my shoulder as if the passing cars somehow captured my interest. Slowly, I allowed my head to turn back toward the finer scenery of the Taco Bell restaurant, at the good looking man seated nearby. As my view nonchalantly passed back over his direction, I was momentarily alarmed to find that his eyes were focused in my direction. I allowed my gaze to pass by him as if I were merely turning my head to see something along the far wall by the fountain drinks, a twinge of self consciousness beginning to form within my psyche. Was he really looking at me? Or were my eyes playing tricks on me? A tingling sensation ran up and down my spine.
         I cocked my ear inwardly, in some foolish pretense of actually paying attention to the conversation going on at my table, but the facade quickly fell as my eyes drifted back to him. His head was now turned as he was helping one of the grandfatherly men at his table clean up a spilled soft drink. I began to doubt myself. Maybe my imagination was getting the better of me. I pondered that for a moment looking down at my fingertips drumming nervously upon the table top. When I looked up however, all doubt was destroyed as I found myself locked into direct eye contact. I felt myself going flush, but I couldn’t break the stare. His eyes were a mesmerizing hazel. My shoulders shuddered slightly as thoughts raced through my head. I must look like a total red faced dork! It was then that he smiled a smile of reassurance because it lifted some of the negative thoughts from my mind and I could feel my own mouth crack into a grin.
         It was so surreal; here I was sitting in a Taco Bell on a Sunday afternoon after church engaging in flirtatious eye contact with a total stranger. Lost in thought, it took me a moment to realize that he had stood up. He was dressed well, all the trappings of a gray suit sans the jacket. He was slender, not too tall, his body well proportioned. His two elderly friends stood up and I panicked. Was this it!? I thought about getting up and walking over to him to say hello but quickly dismissed the idea as being too forward. Feeling foolish, I helplessly watched as he emptied wrappers into a trash bin and set the tray on top of the receptacle. He looked back my way and I was lost between the feelings of hope that he’d come over to break the silence between us and hoping he’d leave quickly so I could return to the place where I was the moment before I saw his face.
         Watching carefully as he walked by, he and his two older friends stopped at the exit and he put his hand on one of their shoulders and appeared to say something, but he was leaning in a way where I couldn’t make out what he was saying. Each moment was an excruciating eternity. I contemplated getting up again despite the sudden appearance of frivolity. He turned back toward me and our eyes met again. Was he going to come over and introduce himself after all? A shiver of anticipation brought a nervous smile to my lips. He took a step and then another, both of us were laughing now. What was I going to say? He was headed right for our table! I had to give the guy some credit; I was sitting at a table full of people. At least I knew that the moment wasn’t going to pass me by. I got up and stood to the side of the table. I know that people turned to look at us suddenly now standing face to face in the dining room aisle of a Taco Bell. I decided that I wasn’t going to worry about that.
         ”Hello there, I’m Jason” His voice was a soothing tenor. He held out his hand. I shook it taciturnly.
         ”I’m Amy.” I replied, and the silence was broken.