The Unknown Emotion

The Unknown Emotion

How is it unknown you ask?

They are emotions something we are all born with right? Yes I know but the thing is...

It hasn’t shown its face until now, Yes I know sounds insane. Well call it what you will I have no idea what it is that I have felt before and will probably feel again.

Its not sadness or regret. More like extreme anger, no it’s more than extreme anger. It’s even more than suicidal feelings. Its not hate or hopelessness, nor depression.

It’s the Unknown

Does anyone else feel what I feel? I’m sure you don’t but there HAS to be someone out there who does. I’m not as unique as I think I am or as unique as I propagate.

When did if start feeling this way? Ahh… yes I remember it clearly;

it was two years ago that the unknown unfolded its self. The emotion made me feel ways I never felt before. When I felt something good it felt better than sex. But when something bad happened I would shut down and I would feel as if I was Satan himself.

I was dead inside; my heart was colder than ice. My eyes were open yet closed to the world around me. I was numb to the love I had once felt toward my family, friends and people in general.

I felt no regret for the hate that glazed every one of my words when I spoke to those close to me. I felt no regret when I turned my back on those I used to have extreme compassion for. I felt no regret when I slapped and spit in an innocent Childs face. I felt no regret when I grabbed a loved ones cell phone and slammed it on the concrete ground out of pure rage.

*laugh* No, no regret at all. I felt no pain when I sliced away at my legs, No pain when I burned my self. No pain when I ate no food. Pain doesn’t exist when the unknown shows its face in my very essence. What an emotion it is. I love it; no I hate it for what it does to me. No I love it but I hate it. I hate loving it.

Oh yes! I cannot forget when it actually comes. There’s the emotional pain, the single tear that runs down my cheek. The ache of my other emotions dying. Then the velvety taste of blood that trickles down my chin as my incisors dig into my bottom lip to stop my self from screaming out. Then the extreme rage, hate and anger then sadness, hopelessness, heartache and then the complete Silence.

What an emotion it is, the unknown emotion. Hated yet loved. Are you jealous of what I have? No more like thinking that I’m completely insane right? Well… think what you want, the unknown is my new emotional soul mate and will be there until I die. What’s yours?