TRUST, Chapter I

JANUARY 1, 2006
“So we’ll be together forever, won’t we?” His voice cracked. Normally he wouldn’t have asked a silly, little-kid question like that – but cut him some slack, will you? His older brother Vince had committed suicide only three hours ago, and we were both still reeling from the shock. I couldn’t believe it myself…and here I am, babbling nervously again. And – I can’t believe the New Year started like this!

Then I remember he’s waiting for an answer. “Of course,” I assure him hastily. “I would never, ever in a million years, kill myself. Not as long as you don’t.”

He smiles. It was one of those half-smiles filled with so much emotion it could fill a novel to write it all out, but I don’t have the room. No, diary, I need you for the next couple weeks, but then you’re out of room. I’ve been using you for so, so long – and I need your last few pages more than anything.

I smile too, to reassure him, and kiss him softly on the cheek, comforting him. “We’ll be together forever,” I tell him. “Forever.”

JANUARY 2
He’s been really depressed lately. I can see why. I haven’t been too happy myself. But…no matter how much I’ve called him all day, to see if he’s alright, he’s answered with the same response: “Look, I can’t talk right now. I’m so busy.” What could he possibly have to do? It’s still winter break! Maybe I’ll, I don’t know, go see a movie. Yeah, I hear there’s a new comedy out – maybe that’ll cheer me up.

Why do I suspect that he’s up to something?

Nah. What could he do during winter break? I know he’s certainly not going to kill himself now, not after Vince hurt everyone by doing it himself. So what could he be doing? Or maybe I’m just paranoid because I’m depressed?

I call him one last time and get a voice-mail. Hi, this is the Shields residence. We can’t talk right now, but please leave your name and number at the tone. !BEEP!

I sighed. “Hey, this is Sonja, I was about to go see a movie, if you can call me back that would be great.”

Sigh.

JANUARY 3
What – a – bastard.

I am going to kill him.

I pick up the phone and dial, smashing the numbers one by one.

I get the answering machine. ARGG!

When it finally beeps, I’m trying to control my voice so I’m not screaming into the phone. “I saw you at the movies last night,” I snarl. “I was watching the same thing you were, three rows behind you.”

Then I add, “And I saw you with that girl.”

JANUARY 4
I call him and finally reach him. His smooth, tenor voice – what did it whisper to that anorexic freak that night – answers the phone. “Hellooo?”

He doesn’t even sound sad. How did he get over Vince so quickly when I’m still troubled by it? Stupid girl probably told him he was an idiot for mourning so he tried to stop, tried to forget! And that voice – it fits his well-toned, tall body perfectly! Did his pale, spidery fingers cup her cheek; caress her hair; brush her arm? And I’ve never seen a girl that thin, except for his sister, but she’s in the hospital right now to recover from anorexia, so it had to have been another girlfriend!

“I saw you with that girl,” I mutter.

“What girl? When?”

“Two days ago!” I snap crossly. “Don’t’ tell me you can’t remember!”

“Oh, I was just w—”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses!” I scream. “You said we’d be together forever! You made me promise, and you didn’t even live up to your part! What the heck were you thinking, you worthless piece of—”

“Look, Sonja—”

“Don’t ‘look Sonja’ me!” I hiss. “I looked—I looked! I looked and I saw you with some girl! I can’t believe you would cheat on me like that! Just wait till winter break ends tomorrow, just wait!”

“Sonja, I wasn’t cheating, you don’t understand, please don’t—”

I slam the phone down.

I’m going to get my revenge on that bastard. And I’m going to get it tomorrow.