Flame, Shadow, Music, and Obsession

As she sat alone, a single tear trailing down her cheek, the wind was blowing sweet whispers of death into her ears. Her lips were dry as she let out a soundless scream of pain. She could feel the depth of her heart slowly crumbling from the inside out. All she had ever wanted was to be loved, to be held...to feel safe. She tried so hard to love and care for the ones close to her...but in the end she hurt every single one of them. Her small flame fighting to come back...she did wrong most of all. Her darkness...the one thing that made her feel human...the one thing that showed her....that her demons were not to be ashamed of, but to be embraced. That darkness Held her and wrapped himself around her, sheltering her from her pain, and her missery. Her darkness loved her and understood her. He was the only thing she had ever wanted....but she is giving it up and she doesn;t want to but she feels she has to. Then there is her sweet beat of music. He showed her what it is to be in the arms of a real man...a man willing to fight not only for his loved ones, but his pride and his honor. But that intoxicating rythm betrayed her and ripped from her what was left of her already bleeding...decaying heart.
As she sat alone, the tears streaming down her face, the silent screams leaving scars in the depths of her humanity, her drive for living was slipping away. Her mind wanted so bad to give up on this life, to let her body just shut down and finally give up the fight.
Her wordless cries suddenly disapated as her eyes starred upwards towards the pale blue light that was shining down ontop of her. She asked him why...why do I love them so much...and as she let the thought roll through her mind a realization slipped its way into her subconcious.
"It all started with you..." He was the first man she had ever loved, the one who was to take on the roll of protecting her. He was the one who brought her into this world and taught her how to love and to see that light inside of people. He was the first man to hold her in his arms and say that he'd always be there...and he was the first man to betray her. He hurt her...so bad did her hurt her. The physical pain he passed on to her was nothing to the emotional and mental pain that huanted her to this day, in her every wake....her every restless dream.
She realized now she was looking for what he had never given her...what he was responsible for giving her. She looked to the men in her life...the flame, the dark, and the music, and even to her lost obsession...the one she let go...her alpha, her master, the one who had controlled all aspects of her, she looked to them for that safety, that love. The feeling of knowing your loved and there will be someone there to fight for you and pick you up when you fall. But there was only one who could truly do that for her...and that one thought, that one beat of her heart is what sent her to her death. Not her physical death...but that would have been better than the fate she was laid with now. She knew that she was giving up that darkness, that one cold but so warm person that truly made her feel complete. If she gives him up now...he will disapear...if not right away, eventually. His shadow will only make the flame try to burn brighter. The shadows will disapear....he will do it to keep her from the pain...but what he doesn't realize is when he disapears....that will be the time of her human death. that one last peice of humanity that was clinging on will be ripped from her, and there will be nothing left but the painful memories.
Her love still holds on to that flame and she cannot bring herself to let him burn out. Her love for the shadow, the dark, the safety...it grows more with everyday. Every words he whispers makes her fall for him like the first time. Yet still she is not ready to let go of that flame, that flame she feels she has to protect. She feels she owes is to him for all the light he has given her throughout her life...he deserves as much. But will she ever truly let it be like it was? She will never forget those arms that made her forget...it will haunt her until the day she dies. She knows what she is doing is going to make the rest of her life completly miserable...but her love wont let her be happy. Her heart will always be the one to bring her down.
There is nothing left for her now....her death has come...and passed. All she does is sit there...alone. No more tears, no more cries or silent screams. Just a slight tremble beneath her skin and the distant breaths which made her chest slightly rise and fall. All she could feel was static...a quiet that told her there was nothing left.
Caliena was her original birth name. She finally told her...but why? The thought whispered through her "Because your finally all mine" Caliena promised to be the one to protect her, to right the wrongs that were done to her. As much as they shared their hate for each other, it began a life to their love for each other. They both needed each other....The loyal and gental black wolf...the one who loved her mates so much...and the pure rage that embodied a black leapord. Two complete opposite species, constantly clashing, but in the end they were as Ying and Yang. They needed one another to balance out their miserable existance. The wolf died this night. Its spirit lives on within the leapord who has sworn to protect her from any more pain. can she ever love again? Can she ever let that flame burn on its own?