Premonitions

New York City, Aug/'02, 7:30 pm

The last of the customers were leaving and it was 7:35 pm. I wanted to hurry so that I could buy my Mom a pair of jeans I liked for her. I walked around the
counter to lock the doors and put the gate down. I still needed to count the registers
and get the deposits ready for tomorrow.

Fifteen minutes later, I was locking the gate when my eyes clouded over.
My heart was drumming loud and my ears hurt. I could hear the screech of the
train's wheels as it halted with a loud bang. I was staring at the key dangling off the
electronic gate's lock for a minute before it hit me that I shouldn't be able to hear the
train at all. The store is located on third and 106. The nearest train station is on a
hundred and tenth and Lexington Ave. A good 4 or 5 blocks away.

One of my co-workers was standing next to me when I turned to say:

"You know what Sha, something is going to happen." Now he was looking at me
as if I was crazy. He said Z your crazy and walked off telling me to go home and go
to sleep. I finished putting the locks and decided Mom's pants could wait 'til tomorrow. I was walking really fast all the while feeling panicky. I kept bumping into
people in my rush to get there. I passed the store where they sold the jeans and I
felt myself slowing down. I could tell they were getting ready to close,too.

Still I kept walking until I reached the subway and took the steps two at a time.
I pulled my Metrocard out of my pocket when I heard something tell me :

"Don't get on the train. Walk back.Don't get on the train"

I stopped mid-way in the turnstall and made a lot of people pissed. A lady actually
pushed me out of the way and ran to meet the closing doors. I retraced my steps
and pulled my cell phone from my purse to call my Mom. I told her I was going to be
later than usual because I didn't feel I should get on the train right away. I went back
to the jean store to see if there was still a chance that I could still buy them.

I knocked on the glass door, but the chinese man nodded his head, waving his
head saying no. I persisted knocking until he stalked to the door and yanked it open. I told him I wanted to pick up jeans I had put aside for my Mom. He said that
he'll take care of me just because I was his favorite customer.

By then I felt more calm and I went back to the station and waited for the number 4 to Fordham Rd. As it happens I got home 2 hours later because there was some
kind of accident on the 4 line and as the booth person said it was probably some poor soul who got pushed into the rails. I had to take the longer route which meant
the 6 to Hunts Point Ave., the 19 bus to the Bronx Zoo ad transfer to the 12 bus going down Fordham Rd. Lord, by the time I got home I was wondering if maybe my
feeling of danger was a trick from lack of sleep.

I just wanted a warm shower and some food. I opened my mailbox but it was empty. My Mom probably took it already. I started my climb to the 4th floor as I
listened to my neighbors go about their daily routines. I put the key in the door whem it was yanked back with me still holding onto it.

My Mom was hysterical; she was talking in her rapid Spanish about the news. I grabbed her hands and held them tight. I told her to take a deep breath and calm down. This is what she said:

"Z, you don't know what happened! There was a train accident on the number 4 around 10 to eight. The train derailed and is hanging of the corner turn. There are trying to get the people out before it crashes. Everyone was thrown to the bottom of the car. There were kids in there! They said there are badly injured people and maybe even a death." she went on a on but I couln't listen.

All I could think is 'Jesus! I just missed that train. That could've been me.'
I told my Mom what happened and she could not believe it. I f I hadn't gone back to buy those jeans I probably would have been in that accident.

It was not the first time I've had this kind of premonitions, but it certainly was the
first time, it became a reality so fast. Usually it could be months before I see things happening. The fear of being able to see is not what scares me. To me the worst
thing is not being able to help someone should I happen to be there when the time
comes.

In a sick way I look forward to the next time I get another chance like that. I will
always wonder if could have done something to help.