Between Love & Hate (Part 3/5)

6.

         School was now hell. After school was now hell. My life in general without Sam was now hell. Lunch came up again, as it did every day, and nothing had changed. I spotted Sam with the familiar people surrounding him. Some days, I’d try to make an attempt to talk to him, others I simply tried to make eye contact. All of which took place while Annie babbled on about who did what where and when. I sat every day isolating myself from Annie and her kind, though still being very near. On very rare occasions, Sam would catch a glance of me and smile, but every time he’d look sad.
          One day at lunch, while I was mindlessly sitting there eating, something Annie said caught my attention.
         “Who?” I asked. She turned and pointed to a table. The same table Sam was at.
         “You see that guy over there?” She pointed to a boy sitting next to Sam. I remembered seeing him at the forest orgy a couple weeks ago. His hair was like straw and was thick and rough at the edges. His eyes were dead and careless. He had on shorts with a shirt that I later read to say “Diamonds. She’ll pretty much have to.” Funny. I nodded.
          “What about him?” I asked as the guy leaned back in his chair and said something to a girl at the table behind him. She giggled and he smiled and leaned his chair back up smugly.
          “Monica told me that she was talking to Alyssa and she told her that he tried to rape Sarah last weekend.” She said. Those long trains of who told what to who always made me laugh.
          “Who’s Sarah?” I asked. She looked around for a second. Then she pointed to a small girl with brown hair who looked scared.
          “Her.” she said. “So now every time she walks by him she starts crying. She said knowingly. Right on cue, Sarah walked by him and started getting upset.
          “Wow. What’s his name?”
          “Eddie.” She looked over at him again and then realized Sam was sitting next to him, something I had noticed right away. “Hey, isn’t that Sam with him?” I took a bite out of my hamburger to stall for a second.
         “Yeah. It is.” I said after I finished chewing. I took another bite. Eating was the perfect way to avoid talking.
          “Do you guys even talk anymore? I thought y’all were like best friends.” I hated when people said y’all. I hated even more when people ask about Sam.
“We were.”


         Now that Sam actually had things to do after school, I now had nothing. I came straight home and down into the basement. My dad was usually there working on his art. I walked down the concrete steps and over to pottery wheel. I was making a bowl. I wasn’t quite sure of its purpose other than to keep me entertained in the absence of Sam. It was going well, except for the rim which I couldn’t get completely even. My dad stopped his painting and came over to me. He was wiping his paint stained hands with a towel. He threw it onto the chair next to me and I looked up. His blue eyes almost looked grey due to his never ending work and age. He still managed to wear a smile.
          “Hey you.” I said hi back. “Haven’t seen Sam around lately. What’s he been up to?” he said as he sat down on a nearby stool. I stopped my bowl. I waited until it stopped spinning completely before I looked up.
         “He’s been busy with school and stuff.” I lied. He nodded his head as if to understand. He looked down at my bowl.
          “Mind if I do something?” he asked, motioning to sit down in the chair I was in. I nodded yes and got up and he sat down. He turned on the spinner again and his hands morphed my uneven edges into a perfectly even rim. He looked at it a second and looked up at me. “What do you think?” I smiled. I hadn’t smiled a real smile in such a long time.
          “Thanks.” I said and sat back in my chair. My dad washed his hands and continued back on his painting.
          I wasn’t much like either one of my parents. We had small similarities but nothing noticeable. My dad loved art and it’s been rubbing off on me ever since I was little, but that was about all we shared. His eyes captured the beauty in the world and his hands recreated it. I was much more fond of my dad than my mom, hands down. My mom was the complete opposite of anyone in the family. She was always doing this and that with her job, always out exercising, perfecting details, and fixing her hair. We rarely talked but when we did, she just nagged. I was very quiet around my family. My mom said I was strange and needed to be more social and gain new friends other than Sam. My dad just winked and smiled and called me his odd duck. He’d always tell me, “Don’t listen to your mother. She doesn’t know what real beauty is.” Then he’d tell me that it was okay to be quiet. I was very much like my aunt in that way. We kept to ourselves and were very reserved. We didn’t speak unless we had something to say or were spoken to.
          I decided I was done with my newly perfected bowl for the day and walked heavily up the stairs.


          My only choice was to talk to Annie for the next weeks. Sure she was nice, but got old really fast. In the time it would take to go to Homeland to get some bread, Annie would get old. Sam was so busy with those new friends of his having and mini Woodstocks in forests to notice my absence in his life. He smiled at me in the halls and I faked them back. The sad look never left. We hadn’t hung out in what seemed months. At random times he would try and cross over to the other side (the other side being me) and make contact, but his smiles and “Hi’s” weren’t good enough. I shut him out. During one lunch, where I now had to permanently sit with Annie and her gossiping friends, Annie asked me if I wanted to go to a party. I thought about the past and Matt. And then I said okay, just to spite Sam.
          On my way out to my car, which I sadly was now becoming very used to driving, I saw Sam walking out to his alone. He looked like the same old Sam whenever he was alone. Whenever he was with those friends of his, he was a completely changed person. He hid the Sam that shone through his eyes and took out a devil Sam to fit its place. I looked straight ahead to not make eye contact with him. I didn’t want it to look like I was that desperate to talk to him. In reality, I was. I walked steadily, my gaze fixed on my car and I heard his footsteps coming toward me. I walked faster.
         “Hey El wait up!” I heard him yell. I rolled my eyes to myself and turned around to face him coming toward me. I stood there waiting for him to approach me. I noticed he had on a jacket. He finally reached me and put his arm around my shoulders just like he used to. I didn’t say a word.
          “Hey!” He said to me again and smiled. He obviously had nothing else to say to me. I looked at him and tried to send him hate messages with my eyes but I guess they didn’t get through. We started walking to my car.
          “Hi.” I didn’t smile. No one said anything for 2 or 3 seconds.
          “Are you okay?” he asked. Yes Sam, I’m perfectly fine. I absolutely love how you ditched me for a bunch of stoned losers! Oh my, do I love hanging out with Annie all the livelong day! She doesn’t get old at all, never!
          “Yeah, fine.” I said instead. He looked at me and searched for the truth on my face. He found it. I didn’t try to hide it.
          “You’re not.” He said. “What’s wrong?” I hesitated but then worked up my courage and said it.
          “You are.” I said sharply. His eyes frowned into a I’m sorry kind of way. He stopped walking which forced me to stop as well. He quartered himself so that he still had his arm around me but was also facing me. He looked into my eyes but I looked in between his eyebrows.
         “It’s Paul and them, isn’t it? He said. Of course it was. What else would it be, honestly Sam? I didn’t say anything. My eyes dropped to the floor. He squeezed my shoulders. “El?” I looked back up at him. All I saw in his eyes was fakeness. I had never seen it up close before and it was hideous. It made me mad.
          “Of course it is!” I almost yelled at him. His arm fell from my shoulders. “How could it not be? All you do now is ditch me to go get high and be gross with that one chick.” There. I said it. Sam just kind of looked at me in disbelief that I was so honest. Dejection reflected through his eyes. And then he started getting angry at me for being so blunt.
          “Can I not have other friends?” He said harshly.
          “Sure, go ahead, have all the friends you want. I don’t care, I won’t get mad. But when you start completely blowing me off for them then yes, I’m going to start to care, Sam, because you can’t let 3 years of friendship go down the drain for a bunch of people you’ve just met and are leading you down the wrong path and making you into an inconsiderate bastard who cares about no one but himself and his drugs and his disgusting little slut girlfriend.” My chest was tight with the anger he finally forced me to let out. My eyebrows were permanently frowned. It felt good to let it out at him like that. He stared at me.
          “She’s not my girlfriend.” He threw back at me. Out of everything I’ve blamed him for (and rightfully blamed him for, I might add) he corrects me on the most minute detail of someone not being his girlfriend? Did he honestly not care about anything I had just said?! My mood went from angry to infuriated. I narrowed my eyes at him.
          “Whatever. I don’t care anymore.” I started off viciously to my car and a couple feet off turned back around and yelled at him. “Go waste your life on your “friends” that don’t even care about you, those friends who use you for a free ride and drug money. Take all that hard work you’ve put into school all these years and throw them away for your pot or your cocaine and whatever else you do now days. Go ahead and throw me aside to ruin your life. And when you mess up real bad, see if those “friends” are still there for you.” I paused. “See if you can find me, Sam. Just see if you can find your one true friend who you’ve ignored for so long and then need so desperately. See if she sticks around after you blew her off for too long.” I turned around and brusquely walked to my car. I was so enraged my heart was beating faster than it normally would be able to. My muscles were tense and my mind was racing. I ripped the door open and plummeted into my seat. I started the car and saw Sam in the rear view mirror, standing exactly where I had left him. His face unemotional. I peeled out of the parking lot and started my way home.
         I was furious and let it show through my speeding. I could hardly see the road through the fresh tears welling up in my eyes. I blinked and they fell down my face. I turned up my music to drown out the sound of me crying and crying. I don’t think I had ever gotten mad at Sam like that. Then again, I don’t think Sam has ever treated me like this either. I got inside and immediately went to my room. My mom and sister of course didn’t notice I had been upset lately but my all-knowing dad did. I noticed a beautiful vase full of daffodils on my nightstand with a note attached.
          I noticed you were feeling down so I got you these. If you need to talk, you know where to find me…stay happy!
                    Love you!
          Dad
          I smiled and dried my tears a little. I was going to go down to the basement and tell him thank you but I was emotionally worn out. I fell on my bed and thought. I thought until I fell asleep. I slept until my phone rang.
          “Arielle did you forget about the party tonight?” I heard Annie’s frantic voice say on the other line. I looked at my clock and it was 6.
          “Yeah.” I said yawning.
          “Are you sleeping?!”
         “I was.”
         “Well are you still gonna go?” she asked.
         “I guess.”
         “Okay, I’m coming over in a second so we can get ready.” And she hung up. Get ready? I was planning on throwing on some jeans and a shirt and leaving; a 5 minute routine. After finishing off my 5 minute routine, I heard the doorbell ring and sighed before I went and answered it to Annie. She looked me up and down.
         “Is that what you’re wearing?” she said rudely. I didn’t see a problem with my jeans and tank top. Simplicity.
         “Yeah.” I said. She sighed and walked me to my room lugging a big bag behind her. She pulled a huge box and clothes out of it. I sat on my bed and watched her open the box revealing 50 pounds of unnecessary makeup and unfolded the tiny skirts and shirts on my floor.
          “Alright,” she began. “I’ll do your makeup.” And she pulled out a brush, rubbed it in some colorful powder and began painting away. She stood back and held out a mirror for me when she was done. I stared back at the stranger I saw in the mirror with dark eyes and pink lips. It wasn’t bad, just a little too hussy for my taste. Then she threw me a skirt and shirt and told me to change. She thrust me in a closet and I put on the skirt. Annie was shorter than me by an inch or two so her already short pink skirt was even shorter on me. The shirt was a skanky little white tube top she forced me to squeeze into. I came out of the closet.
          “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” I said looking down at my ridiculous outfit.
          “Ooh!” Annie squealed. “It looks good on you! Now lets do your hair really fast and we can go. Annie had on an equally ridiculous short skirt and a not so ridiculous shirt. Apparently she wasn’t kidding.
          “If I bend over everyone can see everything!” I protested.
          “Then don’t bend over.” She said, taking my hair out of its pony tail. I knew what I was in for. I did have party experience from Matt, after all. Some guy is probably going to see my short skirt and get an insta-boner, he’s already going to be drunk so that translates to “hey man, check her out.” Leading to the actual check out-age, therefore leading into full fledged rape-age. And then I stopped thinking so dramatically. Annie had taken out her hair straightner and started forcing my hair to be straight. After about 10 hours of dressing up like whore Barbies, Annie announced that we were finally ready. We got into her car and it occurred to me that I didn’t know where we were going.
          “Who’s party is this?” I asked.
          “This guy’s, you probably don’t know him. He’s really nice though.” I didn’t want to question further. “I wonder how many guys we’re gonna pick up tonight!” Annie said excitedly. I wasn’t planning on getting picking up any.
          “Well looking like this, if we got out of the car right now and stood for about 5 minutes I’m sure we’d get some paying customers.” I joked. She turned and glared at me. We pulled up to a house, the type I had so often seen before with cars lined up and people shuffling in. Annie got out excitedly and practically dragged me up to the door. We walked in and a few people said hi to us. Annie went directly to the alcohol. Just as I was about to decide not to drink anything, I thought of Sam. He needed some getting back at. I said I wouldn’t drink anymore and I stopped. But he said he wouldn’t smoke anymore and is still going. That obviously gives me good reason to continue drinking. I followed Annie. She shoved a familiar blue candy drink in my hand and I drank it willingly. Along with a few other things people put in my hands. Within a couple of minutes I was in that familiar state where nothing mattered, everything was fun, and I couldn’t feel feelings…except the happy ones of course.
          I felt arms around my waist and a face darting at my neck. I giggled out of impulse and turned to see who it was. Matt.
          “Well look who it is. I knew you’d be back.” He said grossly as he turned me around to face me. I smiled and in that instant I forgot about all Matt had ever done. He seemed to be nice now, maybe worth my time…at least for this one night. He kissed me like he used to over the summer and stumbled with me into a room. I looked at Matt and forgot why it ended. I started getting mad at myself because I remembered it was something I had done, but couldn’t remember what I did.
         “I shouldn’t have done that thing.” I told Matt through my clouded mind.
         Matt put on that familiar falsely sweet voice. “You’re all right babe, we’re here now it’s good.” Normally this would have grossed me out and made me hate him more, but tonight it made me want him even more. Apparently he could tell I was more drunk than I ever had been in the past with him and decided to take full advantage. After some heavy necking for a while, he started undoing his pants. I helped him out. We struggled with it for a second but finally got it undone and he pulled down his pants. He kissed me one last time and sent me on my way down under.
          It was something I had ever done before and afterward felt gross and degraded but I didn’t think about it too much. And while I was at it, I remembered why Matt broke up with me in the first place and it was because of this…or, well, the lack of anything like it. Then that was that and I went into the bathroom to gargle some water. I went off to find Annie. I found her with some guy but I pulled her aside anyway. She blinked her eyes a few times and threw her hair out of her face.
         “What?” she asked. I started laughing and I couldn’t stop.
         “I just,” I began but started laughing too hard to finish.
         “You just what?” she cracked a smile.
         “Matt!” I laughed. Laughing lessened the blow of my actions.
         “Who’s that?” she said as she slowly started to join in on the laughing. I couldn’t even respond to her I was laughing so hard. A guy with a black leather jacket, a white shirt, and jeans walked by. He looked straight out of the 50s, hair and all. I stopped laughing and stopped him.
         “Hey, you look like the guy from West Side Story!” I said to him ditzily. He looked puzzled.
         “Thanks?”
         “I’m Arielle, who’re you?” I asked annoyingly.
         “Wade.” A guy shouted across the room asking if he wanted a beer. Wade told the guy that he didn’t drink. My heart was warmed at that.
          “I respect that! I really like how you just turned him down.” I said to him sincerely and drunk. “Like, I’m not even kidding. I respect you so much because of that.” I said completely honestly. I really did respect him for not drinking. I may not have told him in the best way though. Wade’s face looked aggravated.
          “Okay, well you can just go drink some more now.” He said rudely. I stared at him. “Go on.” He said, motioning toward the guy who offered him some. I’m sure I would’ve been a lot more angry had I been in my normal state, but right now nothing mattered and I made my way over there.
          A loud knock was at the door.
          “Police, open up.” A voice boomed and my tiny drunk heart froze and things began to matter again. We scurried into the room I was just in. Matt was still there but I had just gotten replaced by a similarly dressed blonde girl. I ignored it and ran in the bathroom with Annie.
         “Annie we need to get out of here!” I almost yelled in her face. The people that owned the house were arguing about whether they should open the door to them or not.
         “My car is out there I can just drive us back to my house.” But even in my state I knew of all things that that was stupid.
         “No! We have to call someone. Is there anyone you know that can pick us up?” I asked frantically. Annie bit her lip and looked up at the ceiling. She shook her head no. I got out my phone and called the first person that came to mind.
          “Hello?” An unfamiliar voice answered.
          “Sam?” I asked frenzied.
          “No, he’s” I heard noise in the background. “…busy. Who’s this?” the strange voice said at me.
          “It’s Arielle and I need Sam’s help right now, so go get him!”
          “What’s wrong, Arielle?” He knew I was drunk but played along anyway. This was definitely not a game!
          “I need someone to come pick me and my friend up.” I told him, trying to sound as serious as I could. It didn’t work.
          “Where are you and your friend at?” the nice voice asked. Annie told me the address and I conveyed it to this nice voice. “Tell you what. You girls sound like you’re in trouble and Sam…well Sam can’t come so how about I pick you up?” Relief. We were gonna be saved!
          “Okay! Come right...now!” I said and hung up the phone. And then I thought for a second and called him back.
          “Yes?” the familiarly nice voice said to me.
          “What’s your name?” I asked. He laughed.
          “I’m Charlie. I’ll be there in 5 minutes. Look for an old white jeep.” Annie and I sat in the bathroom while we heard the continual loud thuds on the door. I guess they decided to wait as long as possible. We slipped out through the back door and waited for an old white jeep. Getting busted was no longer our problem The air outside was chilly and tense. We got out of the backyard and found our way to a street. It was absolutely freezing outside but we had more important things to worry about. My phone rang and I answered it before it had time to ring a second time.
          “I’m here, where are you guys?” Charlie asked
         “We’re the next block over walking.” I told him. He laughed.
         “Okay.” And he hung up. The police scare obviously didn’t sober Annie up a bit and was stumbling all over the place. I wasn’t of much help to her either, even though she had much more to drink than I.. We walked through the blue night until we saw headlights come our way and slow to a stop beside us. An old white jeep. I helped Annie in the back and climbed in the car, trying to keep my skirt as long as possible without succeeding. I looked up at Charlie who was watching me do this with a big warm smile. He had dark brown curly hair and quite a strong nose. I studied him for a second and realized who he was. Mr. Curly McHot himself. And all of a sudden I was glad I wasn’t completely sober. Otherwise I’d have probably sat there silent. As soon as I realized who he was, I smiled.
          “Thank you soooo much!” I said as I immediately returned to my drunken state on purpose.
          “No problem. You a friend of Sam’s? You look familiar.” I noticed the way he was driving, slightly leaned back with his hand resting on the middle of the wheel were the horn is. It was cute.
         “Yeah. Well, I was his best friend but now he probably hates me.” I wouldn’t have normally told him this, seeing that it was Sam’s friend and all, but it didn’t seem to be a problem at the time.
         “He does? Did you do something?” he said without taking his eyes off the road but his facial expressions still holding interest in what I was saying. I couldn’t remember the answer to that question. I twisted my face to try and remember but came to nothing.
         “I forgot.” I said at last. He laughed. He took his eyes off the road and looked at me and glanced in the rear view mirror at Annie.
         “How much have you girls had to drink?” he asked caringly. I looked back at her after he did. She was sleeping . Or passed out. Either way she was shut up and it was fine with me.
         “I don’t know.” I said honestly.
         “Is she okay?” he said motioning toward Annie with his head.
         “She’ll be fine.” I guessed. Silence.
“So where am I taking you two?” he asked. I liked this guy, he was so nice and seemed like he actually cared.
          “To my house.” I guessed.
          “And where do you live, Miss Arielle?” he smiled. I giggled and told him my address. And luckily he knew where it was. I got even braver about talking.
          “So what do you and those people do with Sam?” I pried.
         “What do you mean?” he asked innocently.
          “I mean what do you all do when you hang out?” I said sweetly. He smiled guiltily.
         “Just hang out. Why?” he kept up his innocence. I ignored the question.
         “Why couldn’t Sam come tonight?” I pressed. Charlie, still with his eyes on the road and hand sleeping on the steering wheel, paused. I urged him on with my eyes. I could tell he was about to lie but the truth escaped at the last second.
         “Sam’s tripping out right now. He didn’t want me to tell you that when he called but I figured since you’re his best friend…or, was his best friend…” his voice trailed off. And then I remembered why Sam and I weren’t talking.
         “Oh. On what?” My good mood dropped. Charlie picked up on this.
         “You know, you really shouldn’t get mad at him for it, he’s having a good time.” He reminded me. I sighed.
          “I know, it’s just that a long time ago he promised he’s quit doing that kind of stuff. And then he stopped talking to me because he was hanging out with you guys so much. We were best friends ‘til you guys showed up.” I confessed.
          “I’m sorry.” Charlie said thoughtfully. “If it makes you feel any better I don’t do anything. I just go to kind of baby sit them, watch them act like idiots. It can be entertaining sometimes.” My heart smiled and so did I.
         “I like that.” I told him. He chuckled.
          “Do you?”
          “Yes. But I have a question.”
          “Hmm?”
          “Why do you even hang out with them if all you do is look after them?” Why would anyone want to do that anyhow? Charlie shrugged.
          “I don’t know. To keep them out of trouble I guess. Make sure they don’t hurt themselves.” I took in these words with my ears and my heart soaked them up. What a quality person.
          “You’re a good friend.” I told him. I looked back at Annie, who was now laying down across the seats. He nodded his head, I guess his way of taking the compliment.
          “Do you want me to take you over there?” he said after a while.
         “Over where?” I asked. He laughed again.
         “To where we all were hanging out. Where Sam is.” he said. I didn’t say anything for a second or two. He turned to look at me for a second, waiting for a response. I thought about it.
         “Okay.” I said at last.
         Charlie turned around.
          I slowly had gotten back to my almost usual mental self and prepared myself to be with Sam in person for the first time in a very long time. What would I say, do, think, act? What was he going to be like? I looked at Annie who was still out. She was unimportant. Charlie slowed the car in front of a house and parked. My heart starting running and I wanted to too.
         “Well, here we are.” Charlie said taking his keys out and opening his door. I got out too and watched him open the backseat door for Annie. He tapped her lightly on the shoulder but she didn’t respond. By then I had circled around the car and was standing behind him. I laughed at how stupid she looked. Charlie looked back and smiled at me. Then he reached into the back and picked up Annie like a baby and carried her inside with us. He went into a bedroom and laid her on a bed. How nice of him, he doesn’t even know her, I thought. Then he turned around to me.
          “Ready to see him?” he asked with a smile and raised eyebrows. I wasn’t.
          “Yeah.” And I followed him out, wavering with each step. He stopped, looked back at me and laughed.
         “Gonna be okay?” he smiled and stood facing me until I swayed closer to him. I felt kind of stupid but honestly couldn’t walk straight. I smiled, embarrassed. He put his arm around my shoulders and led me to the stairs, a very hard thing to accomplish when you’re drunk. I looked up at them with wide eyes.
          “No way. There is no way that’s going to work.” I said. He laughed, something he did quite a lot, and swept me off my feet.
          “You hardly weigh a thing!” he said and lifted me up and down as if I were a set of weights. I giggled, he was too cute. He carried me up the stairs. I heard some muffled laughs down the hall where Charlie was carrying me to. Instead of enjoying this being-picked-up moment by Curly McHot himself, I was worrying about how Sam was going to be on the other side of that door. And then Charlie opened the door and I saw the whole crew there, lying down around the room, eyes as big as plates staring, not even blinking. Charlie carried me over to the bed where Sam was. I urged him with my facial expressions not to, but then he plunked me on the bed beside him. Sam’s already huge eyes grew bigger yet and looked at me with a content look on his face.
          “El, look!” he said, pointing up at the ceiling fan. He looked up again and awed with amazement. I looked over to Charlie who had his hands in his pockets and was amusedly looking at Sam and I. I looked back at Sam who was still being entertained by the fan. I started to get up but Sam grabbed my wrist.
          “No! Don’t leave you have to look at this!” he said still staring upward. I let out a slight laugh, because in all honesty it was funny. Sam, that is, not the fan. I looked at the other people staring at various other things, amused by their simplicities. I saw Fritz propped up against the wall, examining his hands. Paul was drawing things and then laughing. Gig was staring off into space. The normal looking girl was asleep, I think. Eddy was there too, with his arm around the same girl he talked to at lunch that one time, both “reading” a book. There was another girl whom I had seen with them before with short red hair and thoroughly pierced ears. She was in front of the blinds, staring at them and touching them every once in a while. They all looked content and happy. At the same time it was a sad sight. They all looked like they were in a mental facility and had the mentality of 4 year olds.
          I looked up at Charlie.
          “This is it? You were sitting here watching them do nothing?” I asked. How boring.
         “Yeah, I” he looked as if he were about to make a good justification. “yeah.” He smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his neck . We shared a laugh.
         “This is boring. I mean, I guess it wouldn’t be if I was seeing what they were, but,”
         “Yeah.” He interrupted. Silence between us. “Wanna go grab a bite to eat?” he offered, his eyes hopeful. I wanted to, I really did.
         “I want to, I really do, but I have to get Annie home and it’s getting a little late.” I said honestly. His eyes got disappointed.
         “Alright, let’s get her and go then.” He said half cheerfully. He carried me back down the stairs again, a very sweet thing to do, and took me into where he laid Annie.
          “I think she needs me to carry her more than you.” He said looking at her and we laughed as he set me down. We got into the car and we got to my house. My parents were definitely sleeping and wouldn’t wake up to anything. They never did. I told Charlie this and he carried Annie inside to my bedroom which, thank goodness, had been cleaned yesterday. He set her on my bed and we stood there a minute with nothing to say.
          “Well, guess I better head back to look after them.” Charlie said. I said alright and walked with him out to the door.
          “Thank you for tonight, you really saved us.” I said as sincere as I could. He smiled.
          “It was nothing. If you ever need me again just call me.” He reached into his wallet and pulled out a business card. David Goldberg and Son Jewelry Repairs.
          “What is this?” I laughed.
          “My dad runs a jewelry repair type thing and I help out.” I laughed in the least rude way possible. “Yeah it’s kind of dumb but he pays me so I guess its all right. This one’s me. He pointed to a phone number near the bottom. Whenever you need me.” He smiled and I copied him.
         “Thanks” I said, holding the card at the bottom with both my hands.
         “No problem.” He said, and walked out the door.
         “Wait!” I shuffled over to him. “Do you still want to grab a bite tomorrow or something?” I asked. I couldn’t let that opportunity go to waste. His face lit up.
          “Yeah, sure! I’ll call you tomorrow. What’s your number?” I pulled out a pen from my purse, which I still was wearing, wrote it on his hand and smiled. He looked into my eyes and said bye. His eyes sparkled when I said bye back and he walked to his car. I stood in the doorway until he got in his car. The engine started and he looked up at me one last time, catching my gaze. I waved cutely and he waved back as his car disappeared into the night.

7.

          I woke up the next morning, sat up and my body was angry with me. I looked up at the time. 10:42. Too early. I looked up on my bed where Annie was half hanging off of it. I smacked her arm that was hanging a foot away from my face. It swung lifelessly and returned to its normal position. Then Annie made a sleepy noise and rolled over to the other side of my bed.
          “Get up.” I said to her. She groaned and pulled the blanket over her head. “You need to go get your car. Get up.” I ordered. Annie lied there for a second and slowly sat up. Hair a mess, she turned to look at the clock and then at me.
          “It’s too early.” she dragged her words out.
          “Well it’s Saturday and you have to go home before my mom gets home.” I lied.
         “Why?”
         “Because she’s weird, I don’t know. Let’s go.” I urged her. Truth was, I wanted her out so I would have time to get ready for lunch with Charlie. I just used my mom as an excuse for everything. She sighed and got out of my bed. I grabbed my cell phone just in case Charlie would call. I had put his number in it as soon as he left my house last night. We got into my car and started driving to where Annie left her car the previous night.
          “Do you remember anything at all from last night?” I asked her.
          “Nope.” She said without emotion.
          “Well I called for Sam to come get us and then”
          “And then that one guy came to pick us up, yeah I remember now.” She interrupted.
          “Yeah, and then you passed out in the back of his car and then we decided to go”
          “Yeah, yeah I remember.” She interrupted again. “And then we went to your house and colored..” She insisted.
          “No,” I started laughing but realized I didn’t feel like explaining. “Yeah.” I corrected myself. “But guess what.”
          “What?
          “I saw Matt there.” I said.
          “Who’s Matt?” she asked. I guess I had never told her about him so I told her everything and she called him a jerk. I agreed and suddenly felt horrible about what I had done last night. I didn’t tell her anything past him saying hi to me. I also was about to tell her about how Charlie asked me out to lunch, but didn’t want everyone in school plus the people in Zimbabwe to know about it so I kept it quiet. We got to her car and she got in and drove home. I zipped back to my house as fast as I could and my dad was making breakfast.
         “Where’d you go?” he asked, flipping a pancake.
         “Take Annie home.” I said. He nodded his head. “That Annie…strange girl.” He laughed. I agreed. “I’m making pancakes, want some? Chef’s specialty!” he asked sweetly. I did, but I didn’t want to spoil my lunch appetite. But I just couldn’t resist those famous pancakes. They were the only thing my dad could cook, but they were so good they made up for his poor culinary skills.
         “Yeah sure.” I said. He scooped up two pancakes with his spatula and put them on a plate and handed it to me.
         “Enjoy!” I sat down at the table next to my little sister, watching MTV. I hated that channel.
         “What are you watching?” I asked, trying to be civil.
         “Real world.” She said, without looking away from the TV, shoveling her pancakes in her mouth blindly.
         “Aren’t you a little young to be watching that?” I asked, trying to be nice and critical at the same time. She was too young but she was one of those little girls trying to act 6 years older than their real age. It was quite aggravating. I’m sure she’d be getting more action than me by age 13. And then I remembered Matt. Gross.
         “No, I’m practically a teenager now and this is what teenagers watch.” She announced. I rolled my eyes and ate my pancakes to the sound of pointless people yelling at each other for futile things. I heard my phone ringing in my room. Charlie! I leapt up and ran to answer it.
         My dad smiled and laughed. “That your boyfriend?” he teased. My sister chimed in too. I rolled my eyes at both of them and continued running to my room and answered the phone just in time. My heart was racing from both running and anticipation of Charlie calling.
          “Hey bring me back my clothes Monday.” Annie told me. I let all my breath out sharply. Disappointing.
         “Okay.” I said dully.
         “K thanks!” she said, and hung up. Ugh. She shouldn’t call me like that, especially when I’m waiting for someone important to call! It was now almost 12. He should be calling soon, shouldn’t he? Did he say he’d call or am I supposed to call? I couldn’t remember and I got worried. What if he doesn’t call? What if he’s expecting me to call? I got in the shower so I could get ready quicker in case he did happen to call. I washed my hair with a new shampoo that was supposed to make your hair super soft and even shaved my legs past my knees. I got out of the shower and walked back to my room, leaving a watery trail behind me. I glanced at my phone. 1 missed call. I ripped open my phone to see who it was. Charlie! Oh, I shouldn’t have taken a shower just then! I considered calling him back just then but decided to get ready first. I didn’t want to make it seem like I was obsessed or anything.
          I was glad to be able to wear my own clothes that were the exact opposite of Annie’s. I picked out one of my newer skirts that was tan and had faded blue and red cherry looking shapes on it. I had bought it a year or two before but never wore it because I didn’t like the length or how it puffed out like a triangle. I finally got around to hemming it the way I wanted and it now rested at a reasonable length in the middle of my thigh. I got a blue sleeveless shirt that matched and put on some random shoes. I looked at myself in the mirror and my cheeks were black from all the unnecessary make up that had washed off and run down my face in the shower. I went back in the bathroom, wiped them clean and put on my usual very scarce makeup.
          I picked up my phone and nervously called Charlie back. He answered.
         “Hello?” he said cutely and curiously, even though I’m sure he knew it was me through caller ID. It was cute anyway.
         “Hey, did you call?” I didn’t know what else to say.
         “Yeah,” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Did you still want to go get lunch?” he asked. Of course I did!
          “Yeah, sure!” I said a little too enthusiastically.
          “Great!” he said with an equal amount. “Where do you wanna go? Your pick.” I hated when people left it up to me to decide. I didn’t know any good eating places, besides my usual favorites, where no one else liked.
         “Uh…I’m no good at picking places to eat.” I said honestly. He chuckled.
         “Alright, I know a nice place. Pick you up at 2:30?”
         “Sounds good. See you then!” I couldn’t help the happiness my voice held.
          “Alright, bye!” Neither could he. I had to let my excitement out so I jumped around my room a few times and then I felt stupid so I stopped. But I really needed to get the energy out so I jumped around squealing like a little girl some more. Finally, someone decent to take my mind off of Sam! My phone rang. I wondered who it could be.
          “Hello?” I genuinely curiously answered without checking the number. Not the falsely curious “hello?” everyone answers the phone with, even though they already know who it is.
          “Hey, what are you doing?” Sam asked. What did he want?
          “Getting ready to go out.” I showed off. I loved showing off like that. That way it makes me look like I have a life while Sam wastes his away.
          “Where are you going?” he interrogated.
          “Lunch.” Was all I said. I wanted him to wonder.
          “With who?” he got curious.
          “I have to go get ready now.” I answered. If he could blow me off whenever he wanted to then he’s got the same thing coming.
         “Wait!” He said. But I said Bye over him and hung up. The nerve of him, expecting me to talk to him after everything. He had his chances to talk to me but he blew them all. That was his fault, not mine. A few minutes later my doorbell rang. I sprang up and ran to the door and yelled to my dad I was going out to lunch. I opened the door and Charlie stood there wearing jeans and an olive green long sleeved shirt. He looked good. We smiled at each other and he took me out to his car.
          “So where are you taking me?” I asked coyly as I got in the car.
          He looked over at me and then stuck the keys in the ignition. “You’ll see. I think you’ll like it.” I hoped I would. We drove for a little bit, talking and laughing with each other comfortably. I noticed we were going into downtown, one of my favorite places to be. I loved its lively atmosphere, people coming and going, each holding complete life stories of their own, stories I would never know. Charlie took a turn that led us astray from the familiar part of downtown. This new place was neither gloomy nor happy but at a happy medium. Charlie clumsily attempted parallel parking several times, smiling sheepishly after he stopped at “close enough” and we got out.
         The sky was grey and cloudy and I had just realized that I should’ve brought a nice cardigan or jacket to warm my shoulders. I folded my arms as if that would help my situation. Charlie looked over at me cross armed and slightly chilled and, telling me to hold on, walked the few steps back to his car and took out a brown crumpled jacket. He walked back over to me smiling.
          “Here.” He said sweetly, draping the jacket over my shoulders. It was an odd jacket. Suede, almost leather-like and old. It had obviously been put to good use. We walked into a peculiar building with music playing from the outside. We went inside and it became clear we were in a sort of Brazilian café. I looked around inquisitively as I followed Charlie to a table. The place was very dark, despite the daylight outside, with a sort of red tint. It was a nice place, a little more than casual but not too fancy. A stout man with a red face and friendly smile gave us our menus and I began curiously flipping through it. There were so many things to choose from and I didn’t know what most of them even were. I started quietly laughing to myself as I so often did when I didn’t know what to do or say but didn’t want to be lifeless.
          “What?” Charlie asked, raising his eyebrows in curiosity.
          “ I don’t know what any of these are.” I said gesturing at the menu. He smiled understandingly and showed me what he thought was the best thing to get. We ate and enjoyed each other’s company. What I liked most about Charlie was that it wasn’t awkward between us. We always had something to say to each other. After we had finished, Charlie took me back home, walked me up to my doorstep and hugged me goodbye but wanted more in his eye.