Dear Dad,

Dad,

Happy Fathers Day. I just wanted to write you a little note to say hello and that I love you. It’s been awhile since I’ve sent a letter home. Don’t worry I haven’t forgot about you and mom it’s just the new job has me so busy I barely have time to eat dinner let alone write a letter. But now that I have a few minutes to myself there is something I feel I need to let you know. It may not be the perfect time for this but we both keep avoiding it hoping it will go away. I know now it never will. So here goes (please remember how much I love you dad).

I found my birth father a few years ago. I know you know this but I had to write it down. I’m not sure who told you or why they did but it did get back to me that you knew. Please believe me when I say I had every intention of telling you myself, I just didn’t know how. I guess I will start from the beginning. I’ll leave the details out. No reason making this harder than it already is.

I had no intentions of looking for him after Debbie told me I was not living with my real father. Tell you the truth I didn’t believe your wife. You have dark hair and skin, I have dark hair and skin. You like cars, tools, and the arts. So do I. My sister and brother have light hair and skin. They look less like you than I do so I figured Debbie told me this to alienate me from the family. Being pregnant at sixteen disappointed the two of you so much I was sure this little secret was to be vicious if anything. After I moved out I had a long conversation with mom. She told me his name, where he used to live, and some other details I don’t care to relay. Another year went by before I really thought about it again. I had told a friend of mine the story and he looked up the last name on the Internet. He found some names and gave me the numbers. I called after a lot of pressure from everyone. “Don’t you want to know where you came from?”, “What if he is rich?”, “You need to know your medical history.” This is the one that made me call. I needed to know for Lizzie’s sake what kind of medical history ran through my veins. Should I be having any more children if I could pass on something awful?

He only lived three hours away. We met the next week. This is where it gets hard dad. I love you. You are my daddy. But when this man walked in I saw myself. I look just like him. He showed me pictures of my brothers and sisters. They look like me. My big nose is a legacy that was passed down from one generation to the next. I guess he had been looking for me. He had always told people he had six kids. Yeah dad I am now the oldest of twelve kids.

Parts of me wish no one ever told me. It’s hard to be at family gatherings and think I share very little blood with these people. I know there’s more to family than blood. Try being the one that doesn’t have Smith blood running through her veins when everyone around you does. Or realizing you are the only one in the world with your genetic make-up. I am sure this truth is not so bad for an only child they know this from day one. But when you have brothers and sisters that were suppose to be from the same mom and dad a major identity crisis happens.

He wants so badly for me to just be one of the family. I feel like I owe him that because it was my mother who screwed him over just like she screwed you over. Regardless of who owes who I FEEL the payoff has to come through me.

With this said I need to tell you how I feel about you. I love you. You are the man who raised me. It must have been so hard to hear your new wife tell you she was pregnant and it wasn’t yours. Then for you to take me with my sister and brother when mom didn’t show up for the custody hearing proves that you love me. You never treated me any different than your ‘blood’ children, thank you.

I guess in the end what I need you to know is I didn’t go looking for a new daddy because you were not a good one. I didn’t seek out this other man because I needed a better father figure. I have a dad who is my hero. When I’m doing my best at something to impress someone, that someone is always you.

Happy Fathers Day

Love Always,

Your Daughter