disarmed and powerful-
I am master of suppression
I give love
I give it away
set it free
let it be
eyes closed
believe, believe, believe it will return
having faith in reason and purpose
with open arms I play this game
trampled on
brave chest out
head high
I talk to myself
convince me
make me believe
for survival
it’s not my fault
it’s not his fault
it’s just right now
but tomorrow
and the next day
and next week
or next month
I just have to survive
keep giving my love
keep giving him away
keep my mouth shut
my heart hid
protected
pretending to believe
everything is as it should be
change will come
external internal
hope springs reluctantly
awaiting the truth
awaiting confessions
awaiting the debut of proper place and time
smiling- cringing-laughing-wallowing
in friendship
I keep giving love
I keep giving it away
I keep silent watch
I keep myself in check
the tears on hold
until I know for sure
all that I had faith in
was wrong
and I am better for it.
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