The Day my Father Died. July 5th

"July 5th"

Cold summer nights, that day the clouds filled the air.
The little boy’s tears fell down, rain drops of despair.
He was reminded once again, the day his father died.
He swallowed the bulk in his throat, vomited his pride.
How I wish you could be, standing here with me.
Staring at the fire works light the sky, then die.
Each shot blazes to the top, soon to be dimmed.
Just like five years ago, I wish I were him.
That thought vanished soon after, time rusted a man’s memory.
Yet still thoughts inside of the son, everything screams lovely.
Sad thoughts form to tears thinking of child built showers.
Rain drops pour in each particle for a half hour.
Every thought capricious just like the honey from the sky.
Each thought tastes like revival, before the time of delight.
Remember when he wrapped his arms around me that night.
Now I know you aren’t suffering any more for me.
The nights you yelled in pain for all to see.
At yet how you still loved me as a child.
You whispered in my ear when the battle was mild.
I love you; you are my one and only son.
I remember that day of fishing you made the boat tip.
For me every second with you was the greatest trip.
Side to side the boat would soon begin to go.
Mommy said in her soft scared voice, “Oh Don no.”
Yet your grin would not fade off your smirking lips.
The boat continued to shake and soon it did dips.
The day I refused to urinate in that rusty cup.
You just gave me a stare, smiled, and looked up.
Oh yeah that time you gave me a little alcohol.
I spit it out and said “not good at all.”
You grabbed me after that, and quickly said “Sorry Paul.”
I laugh at it later, because that is something small.
I remember the night before, you knocked on my door.
You said with that same old grin, “I love you.”
Recalling the time I stared down, I said it too.
And how I didn’t want you to go and part.
I wished upon that coffin we had a new start.
I poured out my heart for many weeks and days.
I screamed at the Lord and continued to always pray.
Anger consumed my soul when I thought of my Don.
I felt like a potato purposely mashed on the lawn.
It took me five years to realize you are gone.
I saw it years later in a depressingly joyful yawn.
In your eyes you said all other months than May.
I hope the Lord God soon takes my pain away.
I use to be angry but now I rejoice today.
I am blessed with people in my life to stay.
My mom and my sister both have made me move.
My girl friend I love, I hope deeply you approve.
The friends I have who I still wish to encourage.
I love them all, and hope they can be nourished.
You showed me the greatest love in, out stretched, arms.
No distance or pain will ever invoke these memories harm.
Cause daddy I remember the victory words I loved won.
I love you; you are my one and only son.