My Last Chance

My Last Chance

It’s finally happening.

The day that I have anticipated all my life has arrived at last. I can feel the electric excitement coursing through the room as I watch myself in the mirror. I feel the silky kiss of the beautiful peach fabric against my skin. My eyes linger for a moment on my own reflection. I could see sadness and anxiety etched into the lines of a smiling façade.

The sound of my voice whispered in my mind: how is it possible that the happiest day of my life is also the day I dread most in the world?

The answer echoed on the tail end of my question: It brings me endless joy to see the person I love happy, yet it breaks my heart because I know I’m about to lose someone precious in my life.

So, here I am, before the mirror, searching for answers perhaps buried in the deep dark pools of my eyes. I find none, except for the contemplative glimmer of the long forgotten desire to risk the truth.

Today would be my last chance to do so. My final opportunity to let the world know who should really be walking down the aisle later this evening. In this magical moment, I am overwhelmed with mixed emotions. My eyes blur with unshed tears as my mind rages with indecision.

Do I really wish to destroy the happiness of the one woman I’ve loved all my life? I have never felt the loss of a loved one more than this painful second that I am faced with all her beauty and grace, knowing that I will no longer be a significant part of her life from this day forth.

All of a sudden, I glimpsed certainty hardening the softness in my eyes. Where before my eyes watered, now they shone with determination. I will tell her the truth today. I will tell her that I love her and be spared the agony of not knowing how she feels for the rest of my life.

I felt the silence in the room closing in on me. Like calm seas before a storm, I just stood there, veil flowing down my hand as though nothing has changed in the last five minutes. My heart pumped nervously. Sentences formed and broke away in my mind as I considered the different ways I would confess my feelings to her. Finally, I decided that there is no right way to let her know. I would just have to speak from my heart. My lips parted on the first word – her sweet name, Stephanie.

“Isn’t this wonderful?”

I blinked, realizing that it was she, and not I, who had spoken. The exhilaration in her voice was unmistakable. My heart sank.

“Hmmm?” I murmured quietly, careful to sound absolutely neutral.

“I can’t believe I’m getting married today!” Stephanie’s face beamed with joy. “Even though I know Malcolm is ‘The One’, I still feel nervous. Gosh, I love him so much, you know? Have you ever felt like that before – loving someone so much that it hurts you to even think that you can’t spend the rest of your life with him?”

An awkward pause ensued. I replied the only way I knew how.

“Yes, I know exactly how it feels.”

With a steady hand, I leaned closer to her and began to pin the veil to her soft blond tresses, inhaling, for one last time, the sweet perfume of her hair.

590 words