the way out

the days grow longer in summer vaction.their was days where u can find me cring.alone,scared of what is in store for me tomrrow.The resons i cryed grow into long lies that i told me self and others.i would spend myy days looking out the window and wishing that i could be like everyone eles "care free" in a way.but when i tried being care free i would look and feel like a physho.the door rang and i know i wasnt waiting for nobody.i opened the door.....Its was a sales guy with a fake cherefulness in his face.he wanted to buy something i would never use...computer it just sitting there wasting me time with people that are lieing to everyone even them slves was not intersting at all."well i have to tell i never u use a computer and i am not planing to using it anytime soon."i looked at his name tag Martin"Martin"well he looked pretty crushed "are u all right i asked "i will be if u can come to dinner with me on saturday?"i felt weird in a way ythat he was there asking me this."sure why not"he left and i thought what was i thinking.the day came and went it was fun and all but he wasnt my type at all.he was sweet and but something about him was not i dont know what i was looking for.we went on more and more dates but i know i was lieing to him and me what i felt about him.the more i thoughht about it all iam doing is hhurting him.i didnt want to be alone so i that was one of the resons that i wanted u with me. with him i felt like he would never lie to me and this realtioship has been based on a lie. i told him i like him but all i wanted was not to be alone.i was scared and felt if i had him i will be saved in a way.but the thing i was more scared of was him.

the next day i know i had to tell him something.i walked up the school fo rthe frist day of school."heyMay!"i see Martin waving i walk over there "we need to talk"i teel him and didnt dare look at his eyes because of the anger or sadness to must be in them.

the day was short butt the worry grow each secound of the day.but i felt better when i heard the last bell and all i felt now was scared.i waited outside and watched everyone leave the Martin cames out.and sits next to me what is it u want to tell me?i u to see but u dont say anything and know that he didnt want me to dump him.But the trueth should be now not later."Martin i am breaking up with u "i got up and walked home.The next day after school i got a letter to meet a friend at the the lot. the lot was a place u colud go to chill or when u runaway because there was a building that was never uesed so it was perfect.
i went to the lot and went into the building "Jackie! iam here!"then i heard foot steps behind me i turned it was MARTIN! "what are u doing here ?"he looked afwal"i couldd ask u the same thing"then he pulled out a gun and put it on my head.i saw tears go down his face."i love you but not any more"i grabed his hand and pionted at his stomach. i heard a loud shot then silence.i fell to my kees and tried to find a palse but nothing and know i know what i can do with my life.

i grabed the gun and pointed at my head and felt and heard a loud bang then slince.