Loss

The woman shifted in the hard plastic chair in a futile attempt to get comfortable. A small sigh escaped through her thin chapped lips as she gazed out of the gritty window beside her. Her eyes had a feverish cast and her hands clasped and unclasped seemingly of their own accord. She looked at her watch. Not long now. Her gaze swept around the room, her eyes unseeing.

Her mind was in frenzy as it skittered across fantasies. She pictured a nursery, a baby shower, and small knitted clothes. Her green eyes turned dreamy in this innocent reflection. She pictured a small house, a loving family and maybe a dog. She glanced over at the snoring man by her side. No, it would never work. She was only nineteen, and he didn’t love her – not that way.

She reflected on the past few days. The shock, the pleading, the frantic phone calls, and now she was here. Misery clouded her face as she absently held her slightly bulging abdomen. A single tear slowly ran down her cheek. If only it could be different.

She sighed and grabbed a magazine at random from the pockmarked table in front of her. She flipped through it absently and tossed it back onto the table. A queer feeling seemed to swell within her until she felt full-fledged panic. Her blood burned through her veins as the walls closed in on her. Her mind screamed, “I can’t do this!” But, she continued to sit quietly. The minutes ticked by.

Finally a nurse entered the room. “Miss Adams?” the nurse inquired. The woman looked up as the man awoke with a grunt. “The doctor will see you now.” The woman slowly got to her feet and walked toward the cold steel door. Gathering the remnants of her strength, she pushed it open. And as it silently swung aside, she thought she heard a baby scream.