The Jump

She told me if she ever were to leave me here alone in this world that I was not to remember her, instead I was to know that she was supposed to go.
She went sadly off the roof of her apartment, dived into the ground. Five stories... I saw her do it, I was there and I saw her on the edge and I told her this, "If you chose this god will not save your soul!" I was breathless from running up the stairs to catch her.
She turned her head toward me with sadness in her eyes like what I said was wrong, "My soul is rotted already he can not save me…"
She jumped and I watched her hit the concrete; head first, then back of her neck, then her back and the rest of her body. In one quick blink of my eye she was gone. Was she in heaven or in hell? Was she next to me looking down on her dead body? Was she still in there?
I stared motionless for more then a second, I felt myself quiver at my own thoughts. The neighbors had called the police and I turned from the sight and ran from the roof. I ran down the dark stairway… away… down a crowded street… turning corners and bumping into people not even saying anything to excuse my rudeness. I ran so far, it seemed, until I reached the ice cream shop my other friend worked at, about 3 blocks away. I was not crying... I just walked in sweat dripping down my cheeks from my hair; it was the middle of the day and hot as hell from the June humidity. I sat down on one of the chairs catching my breath too dazed to look if my friend was even there working.
I guessed she was when I heard a chair pull up next to me at the little table. I whipped my face off with my shirt and looked her.
“You look like you’ve been through hell and back again, what happened?” She asked looking at me like an ignorant dog with her head sideways like and her square chin pushed out.
"She... she did it..." I whispered.
"What?"
"She did it off a roof... she died… she jumped… or fell…." I kept mumbling frantically.
"Who?" she asked sounding a bit worried.
"My friend… my best friend…" I was in so much shock my hands were shaking and my legs were pounding from the running I did.
"Was it Jade?"
Her name... the mention of her name… made me remember her body motionless on the pavement. My shock and pain turned into tears at last. I nodded yes very unnoticeably.
"No! That’s crazy!” My friend stood from her chair and I sunk deeper into mine my face in my sweaty sticky hands. “Excuse me I have a urgent issue I need to deal with, so I’m taking a break.”
“You can’t do that, we have a lot customers!” Her awful manager shouted at her.
“Who gives a shit about customers, if your friend just died I think you’d want a break too!” She shouted back. I hear her stomping over to me and pulled my arm, “Come on let’s go.”
I got up and went out of the shop, my tears stopped.
“Good, you stopped crying because I want to know what happened to her.”
“I don’t know. I went to her house after I got out of my morning class. Her and her mom were fighting and screaming at one another.”
“Were they like physically fighting?” my friend asked.
“Almost I had to stop her from hitting her mom with a kitchen cabinet.”
“What were they fighting about?”
“Her mom was yelling at her for her smoking and drinking problems.” I said touching my shoulder nervously because half of that problem was my fault. I had gotten her addicted to smoking cigarettes.
“But what made her want to do something so horrifying?”
“I don’t know, the fight ended with her mom slapping her across the face… and…” I paused letting out a deep sigh trying to hold back everything to tell my friend the story, “before she jumped I tried to reason with her but she just said her soul was rotten.” My face was burning with deep regret and tears were coming back to my dry red eyes.
“Oh my gosh, and you saw it all happen, you poor thing.” My friend said and put her arms around me giving me a warming hug. “I’m going to give you a lift home okay.”
“Even if I want to go home I can’t. I was a witness and I need to let her mom know that she is to blame for everything.”
“No, I’m taking you home, you can do that on your own time. I think her mom can figure out that it was her fault anyways.”
I know my friend was just being nice to me even know it was her friend that died too, she didn’t understand that I needed to do that. I needed to go back to Jade. I hugged my friend tightly again and gave her a sad grin and let go of her hands and ran off back through the crowded streets not wondering if my friend was following. Before I knew it I was standing in front of Jade’s apartment building. Police and ambulances had pulled next to the alleyway between her building and the next one. I walked calmly over to the scene where people were crowded. The lights of the vehicles were blinking brightly and as I walked through to the front of the crowd I saw a few men pushing a stretcher with a black body bag zipped up fully. The men looked tired and just about had enough with scrapping dead people off the streets of our city. The policemen must have been inside because only a few were down on the street near the “accident”.
As I worked up my courage I walked into the building and took the elevator up to the second floor. Walking down the hallways I could hear other people shouting and loud TV’s to block the noise outside because the walls were paper-thin. When I reached Jade’s apartment, I could hear the policemen talking with her mom. I knocked twice softly; maybe hoping they wouldn’t hear because my confidence was fading away.
Suddenly the door swung open and Jades mom stood in her pink tank top and tight jeans; I swear the lady cannot leave the 80’s behind. She ran her fingers threw her dyed blond hair and smacked her lips chewing on gum. She looked me up and down and moved out of the doorway as to say come in. I proceeded and got stares from the two cops standing in the living room. I sat on the couch while they stood. Her mom wasn’t crying, not that I was surprised the lady had no sympathy for anyone. Not even for her child.
“What do you want?” Her mom asked.
“I just came to…” I began but then was cut off.
“No I meant to drink, you look thirsty.” She was standing in the kitchen waving a glass in the air with a smug look on her face.
I cleared my throat and chocked out, “Water, please.”
She dumped a few ice cubes out of the ice tray into the cup and ran regular tap in the cup. She walked over to me swaying her hips and handed me the drink. It was very refreshing.
“Miss Oakmen, is this a friend of Jade’s?” Asked an officer.
“Yeah, a really good friend.” Jade’s mom said, looking at me in disgust.
“I saw the whole thing officer,” I interrupted.
“So, then why didn’t you stop her from taking her life, she is your good friend after all. Why couldn’t you stop a young girl from choosing that fate—“
“Sir, please, calm down,” said one of the other officers, “I’m sorry kid, he has seen to many of these lately for his own good.”
At that point my mind was blank as I sat the glass of water on the wooden coffee table.
Why hadn’t I stopped her, why didn’t my hands reach up and grab her down from the ledge of the building? Was she hopping I would catch her at the last minute. Maybe—god damn it!
“I’m such a fucking idiot!” I screamed out loud standing up abruptly. The officers spun around staring at me in bewilderment, Jade’s mom in utter shock. “I can’t believe I didn’t stop her, I’m so fucking stupid, I should have took her hand and brought her down from the ledge, I didn’t know… I didn’t know what to do… I was so scared. It’s not fair why’d she have to die! Why? She didn’t deserve these issues; such a beautiful human’s life wasted because of a broken home, a broken life! I can’t be the only one there to help her when she gets low.” I looked to Jade’s mom, a wave of energy came through my body,
“Why didn’t you run up there after both of us? HUH? WHY DID YOU JUST SIT ON YOUR ASS AND LET THIS HAPPEN! IT’S NOT MY FAULT! I WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT EVER WAS THERE FOR HER AND YOU PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO BRING ME DOWN FOR NOT SAVING HER! I COULDN’T SHE WAS GONE BEFORE SHE REACHED THE TOP FLOOR BECAUSE OF YOU!” I was so angry my heart was beating so fast. I was looking at Jade’s mom with a threatening look.
Her moms face was distorted I think she was trying to do something she hadn’t done in ten years: cry. The police officers didn’t know what to say, I think they were trying to calm me down in my outstanding speech but I was not going to back down. Her mom sat down on the couch grabbed a worn out pillow and pushed her face into it, her body shook and she sobbed into the pillow loudly.
I wasn’t sure what to do next. I got all my built up anger out and now my life is empty because I have no one to care about. Myself was never included; I never cared what would happen to me. I looked to each cop, I was unsure if I was needed to give a police statement. They looked at me and then to the sad lonely woman on the sofa and one of them stepped forward, “I think we know where the door is, there isn’t much more we can do here for you ma’am.”
She sobbed loudly and I really had no heart left to care that she was feeling remorse. The officers left quietly. I was alone with her, “I guess, I’m gonna go home now.” I said softly.
Her mom dropped the pillow down suddenly and stood up so her face was close to mine. I was surprised she was as tall as me. Her face was blotchy and her eyes slightly swollen. Her hands touched mine; in confusion I took a step back. Before I could turn my body and get away she grabbed my face and brought me so close to her and kissed me right on my lips. My eyes were wide open I was not enjoying it at all. She only kissed me for a second because before I knew what I was doing I pushed her off of me and ran out the door. Down the stairs and out of that filthy old apartment building, Jesus, why the hell did that old lady just kiss me? I thought to myself as I walked away in the direction of my home. Oh, Jade…I miss her already.