goblin porn (freewriting)

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my life story begins with a cunt. i was spat out. guess, girls were the only things on my mind since then, ask freud. fuck that, ask faust. but lets forget me for a second...
there is a cauldron, thickets, thorns, willow branches, and twigs: burning, while two goblins rub against each other, trying to have their prickly pimpled flesh bulge through,,, "aaaaah" the female goblin sighs -- theres no differentiation between the two, except for that of color... wait. one has a hole with a miniature prickly hanging above it, the other has no hole, except for the one which shits what he eats, just like the other, but his prickly is extremely large. So the "male" goblin shoves himself inside the other as much as allowed biting on her neck while she bites her deformed lip; always thinking of the baby she bore to the blind cyclops giant of that village... ofcourse, furry animals watch, jumping over each other, butterfiles fly, prepubescent girls chase after kittens that in turn chase a yarn of wool...
I kissed my ugly-beautiful praying mantis during that night. My cynical-sensitive mantis winked back, putting her hook-limb to her chest and making rhythmical, circular, motions.... "oh shes so green," I exclaimed, slapping the praying mantis' ass, eyes closed -- pupils ready to hike into the hole of slumber... After making sure my eyelids were firmly stitched with Sleep she proceeded to turn me over -- digging her hooked nails through my back, then casually feasting on my organs, which pulsed to the scattered chirps of our bedside crickets... but enough about that night and me, lets talk about freud... i told the girl, that shes nothing... not in a crowleyan sense.. (when i sesnse a dispersion of green fields chasing after toes...) i told her... you're fucking worthelss: all u do is look up and whine (crowleyan sense of nothing: 0=2... no nothing no no thing, theres always something there), always on your knees saying you're a queen, your only power is controlling when or for who to spread them, and your mind -- youre no better than a bitch that barks (0=2, there is no one, no singularity, always aspects and coils) up irritation and vomit that brings... at this point my throat was slit; an arm was coming out of my chest (0=2 the 1 equates the = sign, it skips, 1 is not one, what is a zero, that concept is inexplicable it can only be 2),, my skin shedded, xylophones banging cacaophony, full breast bulging out of my center... her high heels split through my neck while she opened her mouth. that time was when the angels kept raining from the sky... blood splattering in each direction, still blowing on their horns... through the noise, i could hear her as she bent down nude, whispering to my ear, "my little funny child. how i love you. if only you could understand. god, forgive me.... its the nature that makes jealousy. and you are lost... so lost. but you can never understand. nor can i. i was cursed as well... my love is eternal, i will make you hurt, this is how i love you... This is my adoration for you, because you are a god. I will hate you and say you are nothing (0=2) thus you will know I am important." she bent over me while my half living body convulsed, "isn't that what you always needed, someone who cared this much?"
The zombie flesh which is "I" sprung into a fit of melancholy: manic, irrational,throwing samurai swords thru glass eyes of spiraling robot babies endlessly excreted though fish coordinates. Ripping the barcode out of my two wrists i was thrust through a window, falling through a sewer...
"hey, whats wrong?"
"nothing, why? [pause] well [pause] sorry i was just thinking about something..."
"yeah?"
"nothing, forget..."
"oh come on sweetie, i wanna know."
"you..."
"heehee, why do you do that?"
"Nah its nothing I just didnt get too much sleep."
"No..."
"What?"
"you started saying something, now I want to hear it."
"What?"
""You said 'you', what were you thinking about?"
"bla..."
"come on dont give me that," she said jumpng on me, wrapping her arms around me.
"you really want to know?"
"i love you, you can tell me everything," she replied.
I took her palms from my back and put them to my chest, kissing on her neck; then our hands disconnected, I hugged her close, as close as I could, our body warmth becoming overwhelming. Taking her face in my hands I kissed her mouth.
"I didn't feel anything... was that your big finale? [pause] I'm just going to go."

My (male) friend was over later...
"Yeah so what the fucks deal?"
"Nothing."
"You said you were losing it and you had to talk so what the fucks up?"
"Everything."
"Huh?"
"Not everything... [pause] whats up with females?"
"you finally broke up with that bitch?"
"i just want to be a good person."
"good person. girls only pretend and say that..."
"i dont know anyone who have offered more than..."
"girls. girls, they want violence, tyranny... rape, but they want you to say that you love them when they really want to fight. they want everything vulgar and phallic. they dont need romance. they might read it, even finger themselves to it, then reality kicks in as they walk out the door. penetration and abuse. they fiend it. they want the fucking dick."
"eehmm... yeah thats really just."
"what? the truth?"
"all girls are different."
"yeah? well why isnt this whole hopeless romantic thing working out for you then? look... uh....remember when we partied a few weeks back and you banged them bitches all drunk and smacking the shit out of them. they fucking loved you. dog, im not gay or anything, but i fucking looked up to you when i was watching that shit"
"thanks i guess, i didnt feel shit."
"what the fuck were you that drunk?"
"no, i just didnt feel anything, i was having sex but there was nothing, ive gotten off more from hugs before."
"thats why you're fucking weird."

the cauldron thumped and rattled as the goblins inside became more and more livid. Lost in ecstasy, splashing in foaming eruptions of bubbles around them. The furry animals would run up and place more and more charcoal under the cauldron, applauding madly while the fires weaved over their entertainers. The twigs and thorns vibrated on the ground -- at times piercing a rabbit foot, or clinging to the ball of wool which the prepubescent girls chased; screaming -- terrified -- while the kittens stalked after them... Droplets of rabbit foot blood that smeared over the terrain curdle into earthy maws; once there turn fetal, spawning little red humanoids which would run in cicrcles -- shaking fists. At this point the sky was a big chasm of grey: muddy in sweat and flesh. The earth gullet would reach out occasionally; taking sweet, violent, bites out of it, scattering the moons and the stars all around. Air completely muggy, steam spurting in all directions... In the end there wasnt that much to see. The animals got bored and started making the way back towards their holes, saddled by little red humanoids. The prepubescent girls died, choking on a kitten bone. The goblins kicked back and exchanged tobacco smoke from their pipes. Air was clearing... On a willow branch sat a dove, clumsily poking at a worm, then kicking back supine with its belly bulging out. There was an old farmer in a straw hat who would pick these doves and breed them with crows, to profit egg production. He was walking from the horizon now, whistling something, filterless cigarette on his lip. Stopping by the cauldron and checking his pockets for matches he asked the goblins for a light...