rage

i don't own enough hatred to give to all these people--
i have always released it
given it to the vastness of the universe
to be recycled into positivity and growth--
and so i don't have enough in moments like these--

i cannot find enough rage to fill my throat
when i learn these things-
i have always compressed it into tiny squares
and disposed of it in
chakra cleansings and candle flame
and so i cannot find any of it when i need it--

what i think fills me-heart and soul-
at these times
is an overwhelming-
rushing-
viscous-viscious-
drowning pool of despair
that threatens to devour me where i stand--

but i embrace it and it becomes
the rage and the hatred that i am looking for--
and goddess forgive me
for pulling it to myself like a child's blankie
to wrap in when i feel
the ice that flows through their veins begin to engulf me--

-cdbg
10-05-05