They Didn't Notice

It just came. It came so fast and unexpected that she didn't know what to do with it. Itjust popped up as she sat in a theater. One second laughing at a funny joke made in the film, the next holding her breath and staring at the exit sing. All she wanted to do was melt into the plush seat that she currently occupied. Again laughter swept the audience but she heard nothing, nothing but a faint buzzing coming from the exit sign. Soon the neon letters all blurred into one large glowing red rectangle. All she wanted to do was bolt. Run out of that theater and get away from the laughing and the pointless movie in front of her. She looked over and saw that they were holding hands. Great. Icing on the fucking cake. Two more affectionate, loving people to sit and rub it in her face. To make sure that it was ground in real good. Get Out! Her head screamed but it was too late. She was paralyzed. No matter how hard she tried she could not will her legs to carry her out. She couldn't even make it the twenty feet to the outer hall. She knew tha tif she did move they would ask questions. They would try to fix it. Because they know how it feeld. They've been there before. They would promise that it would get better. But they make hollow promises. They don't know. They haven't felt it. They didn't know what it was like to have such an intense seering pain in your chest that you can't feel a thing, but it still hurts so bad that it dulls the rest of your senses. They didn't understand that she would hold her breath until she blacked out because "it only hurts when i breathe" was more than just a saying. It was her reality. They didn't understand that the physical pain she created took her mind off the unbearable one in her chest. They didn't understand because they didn't notice. They didn't notice when she dug her nails into her exposed arm. They didn't notice when she drew her knees to her chest and tightly wrapped her arms around her clothed shins. They didn't notice when she dropped her head and cradled it in her knees. And they didn't notice when her shoulders shook from her silent sobs. They didn't notice, so they didn't understand. To them it was just a phase.