Boku no chiisai himitsu

I would never tell. It was my little secret.

He always knew I was up to something... but no matter how many times he asked to see, I would bluntly refuse. No matter how much he tried, all the underhanded guilt trips, the puppy-eyes, or the sweet-as-sugar compliments, I never gave in. I think I lost count of how many times I found him in front of my computer when he'd stay over, trying as hard as he could to hack into my password locked files. I'd confront him about it, he'd apologise, then turn around and blame it all on me.

So, it became my fault that I wanted to keep what I was doing secret. My fault that I wanted to keep my stuff private. No doubt he'd copied them to a disk or something and took them home; he probably spends hours trying to hack into my files.

He better not have done that… now that I think about it.

If he has, I'm going to have to hurt him.

Badly.

Anyway, enough about that… Oh, and be sure of this. I'm not going to tell you either. No matter what you do.

Seriously…

Stop that will you, I'm not going to tell you.

I mean it, I won't…

*Sigh*

Fine.

Just don't tell anyone okay? It's a secret, and you're the first person to know this.

I'm sure every fan, well, obsessed fan, knows that I like to draw. I'm sure even a few of you have seen a few pictures I've done in the past. Nothing exciting, just doodles.

How many of you have seen my real artworks? No, I don't mean my Self-Portraits. I mean my doujinshi, the ones I have online for the public to see?

Well, you'd probably be surprised.

I know many people, including fans of myself and Gackt, have read the doujin and left messages at the guestbook I have on the site. So I have a pretty good idea of how popular the doujin are.

I'm not going to go into to much detail; I don't want to give everything away.

Anyway, so I guess you want to know what kind of doujinshi I write. I could make you guess, but I won't.

I write yaoi doujin. Yes, yaoi. Don't look so surprised.

It's just something I started to do after I found this website that had stories called 'fanfictions.' I was curious when I saw mine and Gackt's names put as a pairing. So, I read it.

Anyway, after reading God knows how many of those fanfictions, I just started to write my own. Why, you ask? Well… you do remember that I'm married, ne? So, it became like a little fantasy thing. I soon got bored of the writing, turned the stories into doujin, and joined that website so I could put them up for people to read. The reaction I got was better than I expected, so I did more, and was smart enough to secure the files with passwords so no-one could look at them. That's why Gackt got suspicious, why he still is. Since every single time he comes over, I'm usually in my study, it pretty much takes up all my free time now.

By the way, I'm not telling you my pen name.

And don't you dare tell Gackt; or else, I'll have to hurt you too.