Her World

Her World
 
Her disease is a hole
Deep and dark with steep sides
The farther she falls in
The faster she slides
 
It deprives the body by infecting the mind
To her own jutting ribs and gaunt cheeks she is blind
Her world is one of frustration and tears
Endless exercise and convex mirrors
 
A simple sneeze makes her achy for hours
The drain is full of hair after she showers
Her heart is like a sick bird, feeble and weak
She can feel each wheezing, irregular beat
 
After workouts, veins in her arms swell, thick and blue
A glaring reminder
Of what her body’s going through
 
She’s always cold, a chill penetrates to her core
She can never seem to get warm anymore
Sitting in hard chairs at school bruises her spine
When her friends show concern, she insists that she’s fine
 
Hunger screams from every corner of her body and soul
She feels that without it she wouldn’t be whole
She dreams of food every single night
But in the day she agonizes over each bite
 
The lifestyle devours her thoughts, time, her life
It brings endless heartache, despair and strife
Even though she’s desperate to get better
Her fear of getting fat refuses to let her
 
Slave to the fat grams and calorie counts
Slave to fear, isolation, and nagging self-doubt
Hundreds of rumors, thousands of stares
She wonders if anyone really cares
 
Her father is angry, her mother just cries
What if she can’t recover?
What if she dies?
 
Don’t envy the stars in magazines that you see
I’ve lived through this hell, so please listen to me
It’s not glamorous, and it’s not feminine
To be miserably, deathly, painfully thin