Broken Like Glass

“I hate you!”

Hyde’s rage-filled screams echoed through the house, accompanied by the loud shattering of glass against a wall.

“I fucking hate you!”

More glass shattered as the vocalist pulled every piece of the blue coloured glass from the shelves and threw it with as much force as he could muster across the room. It hit the wall and shattered, the shards falling to the floor to join the rest. His shelves were now empty; all his much beloved blue glass was now in pieces on the floor.

“How can you do this to me?” He whimpered, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had started the first day they met; Hyde had already had feelings for the other for a decent length of time. His feelings grew when they met and talked, they both got along well and agreed to meet more afterwards. It was obvious there were feelings between them after a few months of a good friendship, both flirted madly with each other and rumours started to spread of their relationship.

After the years of flirtation and the growing friendship, Hyde realised how much his feelings had grown. It wasn’t so much of liking, or close friends, or even a crush. He’d fallen, and hard. Even through all his beliefs that he didn’t believe in love and so on, he’d fallen in love with someone.

The only problem was, did the other feel the same way?

They’d been good friends for so many years now and he was sick of wondering, sick of dreaming, sick of wishing the phone would ring and he’d hear the words he wanted to hear.

It was only when the warm Spring air blew, did Hyde finally found enough courage to make the trip across Tokyo to speak his innermost feelings to the other. The drive seemed to take forever, although he’d done it countless times. His heart was pounding in his chest as he raised a hand to tap at the door.

“Hello Haido!”

Hyde smiled nervously and half-waved. “Hi Gakun.”

Gackt smiled, his eye sparkling as he pulled the door open more. “Come on in.”

The shorter man smiled and nodded, his heart pounding in his throat as he stepped inside, the taller vocalist closing the door behind them. They walked to the loungeroom and took a seat on the white leather u-shaped couch, Hyde’s hands wringing together nervously.

“So what’s up?” The taller man asked, his eyes noting Hyde’s nervousness.

Hyde nibbled on his lower lip and took a breath to calm his nerves. “I uhm… well…” He stammered quietly, not making eye contact with the younger man.

Gackt slid closer and turned to face the other. “You well what?”

The shorter vocalist took a breath, then another. He fell silent for a few moments before he opened his mouth to speak. “Gakuto… I…” He swallowed. “I love you.”

Gackt blinked several times. “You… love me?”

Hyde smiled a little and nodded, his smile fading quickly when Gackt started to laugh. “What?” He asked softly.

The taller man shook his head. “Don’t be silly Haido, we’ve joked about this for years. We don’t need to pretend, we’re not in the public eye.”

The older man couldn’t help but smile at the other’s words; he shifted closer to the other and smiled up at him. “So you… feel the same way too?”

Gackt paused. “Of course.”

Hyde smiled wider, daring to lean upwards, pressing his lips against the younger mans.

“What are you doing?” Gackt pushed him backwards. “I said we don’t need to pretend anymore.”

Hyde’s stomach wrenched painfully at the look in the other’s eyes. “I thought… you…”

There was an awkward silence, which seemed to drag on forever. Finally, Gackt broke the silence.

“You thought… Hyde… I thought you knew.”

Hyde shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts. “You thought I knew what?”

“This isn’t real, you know it right? It’s all a game, publicity, whatever you call it.”

The older mans mouth fell open and he got to his feet. “So… all the flirting? Everything?”

“All fake.” Gackt stated factually.

“I thought…. I thought…” Hyde stammered. “You had some sort of feelings for me…”

The taller singer paused, then shook his head. “Nothing more than friendship.”

Those words were enough; Hyde turned and ran from the front door, leaving it open in his wake. He scrambled into his car and drive off as Gackt ran towards his car, trying to stop him. He drove home as fast as he could, wiping his eyes furiously, trying to see though his tears. He burst through his front door, slamming and locking it behind himself and started to smash things.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Now he sat on the floor against the wall, crying into his hands. He had broken every single piece of blue glass he’d collected over the years, and they were lying on the floor in pieces, just like his heart.

~owari~