untitled and unknown-fourth installment

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its been five days since the incident and things are almost back to normal. ciara and eli are starting to plan their wedding, zach and ashley are inseparable, and sam and benjamin are back together. mischa hadnt had the time to talk to her since and she didnt know what was their choice. but it seems that they decided to stay together, practically living in one roof, much to the surprise of all of them that christopher permitted it, as of the time being.. sam had just been released the day before, although the doctor said not to strain herself too much because of her stiches. she also had to come back every week for a check-up, but all in all, she's going to be alright. but they all knew she cant do the disappearing act again. maybe that's why christopher had consented to the arrangement. he knows that no one could control his sister better than benjamin.

well, as for her and craig, right now, she was still living with him, although she was still confused. there are times that she would just stare into space just thinking of what to do. craig sometimes would catch her but she always had an excuse. he had been very busy since that he had not much time to push her though he didnt believe her.

worse thing is she had started having nightmares of what happened to her and what might happen to craig. she had glimpses of her being attacked to be replaced by him, tied in a cell being slashed with her forced to watch on the sidelines. that's why craig started to sleep on the same room with her. he had heard her once crying and screaming and trashing in her sleep that he had to be there to comfort her. he wouldnt want her to suffer, so everytime she started to cry in her sleep, he would hug her and cuddle up beside her, hoping that it was enough to chase her nightmares away.

she still hadnt talked about what happened, or what was in her dreams. he certainly tried more than a few times but something always comes up and they'd always be interrupted. mischa always welcomed these interruptions. she still could not tell him, not until she had made up her mind.

it was sunday, they were watching a movie in his living room. she was cuddled on his lap and he's playing with her hair absent-mindedly when they heard the a knock on the door. they looked at each other and smiled. "i'll get it." mischa said, giving him a quick kiss on the lips then stood and walked to the door. craig removed his gaze on her to look back at the television until he heard her gasp "you!" he looked back at the door and found himself scowling when he saw who it was. john mark.

"what are you doing here?" mischa asked john mark angrily. craig frowned. this was so different from the greeting his girl had given the guy when they first saw each other during their vacation. then, she welcomed him. now, it was anything but that. 'what happened to them?' he thought.

"why are you with him?!" john mark retorted as angrily as her. the man looked at him, glaring, then looked back at mischa, who's hands is now at her hips, glaring at the man, too. craig was about to stand and back her up when she looked at him pointedly. he sighed. he cant butt in, but he's not leaving either. he's just there when she needs him.

"what's it to you?!" she shot back. "he's my boyfriend. and its my decision to stay here."

"are you insane?! after everything he put you through, after all the pain he put you through, you still chose him?!" john mark said. "after what had happened -"

"nothing happened! cant you understand that?! i've told you once and i'm telling you again! nothing happened between us! let that sink through that thick head of yours and leave me alone!"

there was a pause. craig was listening intently now, not understanding what they meant. he felt a sudden anger for the man, as jealousy swept through him. 'how dare he?!' he thought. he wanted to beat the hell out the guy but he couldnt. he cant butt in.

"you dont mean that." john mark said after a while, his voice expressing the shock and hurt he felt on her voice. then his eyes hardened again. "nothing happened?! NOTHING happened?! how dare you say that?! something happened! we kissed!"

"NOTHING happened! WE didnt kiss! YOU KISSED ME! i was depressed, i was hurt, i was crying in your arms and then YOU kissed me." she was flaring now, her arms flying on her side, trying to make her point. "i told you it was a mistake! i told you i dont love you. i cant love you ever again! one, because my heart belongs to someone else and two, you left me! you left me and hurt me and cheated on me! how dare you say these things to me now after what you have done to me?!"

"i didnt cheat on you! i told you i wasnt ready, that i had to leave. i told you i dont want to risk our friendship that's why we had to break-up! cant you understand that i didnt want it? cant you see that i regretted what i have done to you? i want a second chance. i can make you happy and i'll never leave you again, unlike this bastard who's gonna marry some rich chick someday!"

"you have no right." she said through clenched teeth. "i cried for you once, every day after you left me, i cried. i wished that you would come back. i waited for you. but you didnt! but still i waited for you! for one year, one whole fucking year! i didnt mind, i loved you back then, but when i saw YOU, saw you with some bimbo, making out, at OUR favorite place, i couldnt take it! i hated you! you havent even had the guts to tell me how you feel! and just when i had started to forgive you and move on, all you do is force yourself on me?!"

angry tears are now falling on her cheeks and she hastily pushed him away. 'why now?' she thought, angrily. 'i dont have the strength for this.'

"i'm sorry." he said quietly. "but i love you. i made a mistake. i want a second chance. i cant let you go." he raised a hand to wipe the tears on her face, but she slapped it away, glaring at him with all the hatred she could muster.

"out!" suddenly exclaimed. when he didnt move, she pushed him out the door. "out! OUT! i never want to see you again!" then she closed the door on his face. she turned, leaning on the door, closing her eyes, trying to gain control on her emotions.

"you'll come back to me. after he left you, you'll come back to me." she heard from the other side of the door. she sighed. 'i couldnt take this.' she thought tiredly.

then her eyes shot, scanning the room. she had forgotten that craig was in the room with her when john mark arrived. she scanned the room, worriedly, and found him nowhere in sight. she hadnt told him what had happened between her and john mark, and it must have shocked him, to know their past. she wasnt even sure if she told him they had been a couple once. she closed her eyes again, a new batch of tears falling from her eyes. she knew she must find him, but she's too tired and confused. some of the words john mark said to her made an imprint on her heart, adding to the confusion she feels on her situation with craig. she fell on the floor, crying her heart out. "craig, i'm sorry." she whispered, crying, hoping he could hear her plea.
CHAPTER SEVEN: THE NEVER-ENDING TOMORROW

drip. drop. that's how the rain fall against the ground. mischa is looking out the window of her room, not really seeing the city that is outside their apartment. the rain is getting stronger and she could feel the wind howling against the glass. she sighed. it seems that the weather is reflecting her emotions, her feelings that is bottled up inside of her. she hadnt talked with craig since that day. since john mark visited her, she had became more and more distant with craig. she was so confused. sure, all her words to john mark were true, but some of his are also the same painful truth. she knows that craig will eventually leave her, she knows that the only person left hurt in the end was her.

she knew it was unfair of her to think that, because she knows that craig will also be hurting, but at least, he wont be alone. he'd have jane with him. maybe in the end, he'll learn to love her, too...

the rain had turned into storm now, as the tears that came falling from her eyes. she shouldnt torture herself like that, thinking of things, but what can she do? its the truth, the reality.

the reality is, craig will be marrying jane to uphold their family. the reality is, he'll be forced to leave her to be alive. yes, he had to leave her. or else, they'll hurt him much more that they did to her.

craig had tried to talk to her, almost everyday since she locked herself in her room, even stayed with her during the night when he hears her crying, but she wouldnt talk to him. she wouldnt tell him what's wrong. on those nights he spent with her, its either she feigned sleep until he leaves for work or just stayed there unmoving until he falls asleep. she knows he's confused, too, thinking he would have made her talk if he really wanted to. but he didnt. everytime he goes to her, he seems so tired, tired of everything that's happening to them. he's hurting. he's hurting because of her.

she had to go. she had to go so that he can start moving on. fierce determination had swept her, although she's breaking inside. she wont hurt him anymore. she had to leave.

she got her suitcase, throwing all her things inside, hoping that she would be long gone by the time he went home. her tears was blinding her, she couldnt see what she was doing. some of her things missed her suitcase, but she didnt care. she had to leave, leave before he finds her and break her resolution.

mischa was in such a mad frenzy when craig entered her room. he felt that something wasnt going right so he hurriedly went home. he went directly to mischa's room as soon as he arrived, and sure enough, here she is, frantically gathering all her things in a suitcase, as she cried her heart out. for a minute he stood there stunned. he still did not understand what is happening, why is she acting so distant with him. he couldnt understand why she was hurting this much. anger was seeping through him. she doesnt have the right to do this! she told him she'll never leave him again and now she's running away again, with no intentions of telling him, much less say the reason why she's doing it. hell! he's willing to risk anything for her! and she's giving up that easily?!

"what do you think you're doing?" he growled, stopping her on her tracks, her eyes wide, tears continue to fall from her eyes. she knows he is angry and she cant blame him. she was running away - the one thing she promised she wont do again. but she had to, she had no choice. she decided to ignore him, closing the suitcase, neverminding the fact that she is still not finished with her packing. not minding that she had left her teddy behind. she glanced at the bear swiftly, not wanting to waste anymore second there. it had been his first gift to her. she really would have wanted it with her, but maybe it'll be better leaving it behind. it will make her forget easily. she grabbed her suitcase and hastily went to the door.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he repeated, more forcefully this time, grabbing her arm to prevent her from stepping out of the room. she stubbornly looked away, fighting against his hands, not answering him.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he was shaking her now, shouting at her ears but his voice betrayed the fear and the desperation. he was hurting her now with his grasp, but she didnt care. she welcomed the pain, compared the pain inflicted into her heart.

he was starting to panic. he knows by the look of her face and the drawn look in her eyes that she was leaving him, no matter what. but he wouldnt allow it. there's no way he's letting her go again for life is a hell without her. "why?" he asked, his voice quiet and trembling. he wasnt keen on showing his weakness, his pride prevented him. but now, he'll eat even his dignity for her not to walk out the door.

she looked at him and she felt her heart ache even more at the sight of him. he looked so helpless and scared, and his eyes betrayed the hurt and the sadness he's feeling. she looked down, she cant continue looking at him like this! "i'm sorry." she whispered.

"sorry? you're SORRY?! that's all you're going to say to me? you promised you'll never leave me again! you promised we're going through everything together! then why the hell are you holding your suitcase right now?! i wont let you! i wont let you leave me again!"

"i cant... i cant stay." she said slowly. "i had to let you go."

her words rang through him, repeating over and over in his mind like a mantra. surely he heard her wrong. she wont give up that easily, would she? he shook his head. "i dont... understand..." he stuttered. "you're giving up?!"

his words cut through her heart, grinding it to the pulp. but she had no choice, she cant turn back now. "yes." she said so quietly, she was not even sure if he heard her.

but he heard her, alright. he wouldnt have heard her better even if she was speaking on a megaphone. he cant believe it. anger swept through him. she cant do it to them! she cant do this to him! "after everything we've been through, after everything we promised to each other, you're giving up on us?! was this all just a joke to you?! its not a least bit funny, you know!"

she cant take it anymore. how dare he do this to her?! she glared at him. "dont talk to me like you're the only one hurting here because i'm not the one who started all this up! its you! its you who messed it up! you're the one who got engaged!"

"i told you i had no choice! i told you we'll get through this together -"

she laughed at this to mock him. "are you out of your mind or you're just insane, huh, craig?! its not all about us now! your family and my family and our friends are involved now. there's no way in hell that you family will allow our relationship and there's no way that the others will allow us to keep on hurting each other!"

"but we love each other -"

"it doesnt matter! it doesnt matter if we love each other! love wouldnt save your life nor mine! our love wouldnt change the fact that a lot of people wants us apart and will do anything to do just that! you might not care what happens to you but i do! i dont want a husband who'll just end up in a grave!"

her words slapped him hard, making him cringe. he didnt understand. he couldnt understand. "what do you mean?"

she laughed again, but she was already crying. "havent you ever wondered who the hell beat me up or why or how or how the hell it concerns you to make me forgive you?! do you have any idea?! no! of course not! why would i tell you?! why would i tell you that it is your dear fiance who did that to me?! why would i tell you everything i went through?! you wont understand?! you're not the one who's going to hurt! i am! and you'll end up dead while they make me watch you suffer! its been wrong for me to go back, bad idea. i thought i can go through with it, but i cant! i've seen sam suffer and i cant go through the same thing!"

he stood there for a minute, looking down at her tear-strained face. he felt numb, as her words hit him, that he hadnt feel his own tears falling down. then suddenly, everything came back, and the pain hit him ten-fold. he wrapped his arms around her, despite the struggle and leaned his face on her head, inhaling her scent. "i'm sorry."

she stopped fighting and cried in his embrace. it felt perfect to be here in his arms, but maybe, its not meant to be. it hurt her more to realize just what she had to let go. "i'm so scared. i dont want to go, but i have to. its the right thing to do... but... i just dont know what's right anymore." she sobbed.

"just stay here with me. i'll take care of you. nothing is going to happen to either one of us as long as i'm here. please dont leave me. i cant lose you. i'd rather die. living without you is fate worst than death."

she felt her resolve weaken at his words, but she wouldnt want to change her mind. leaving is the best thing to do. though its going to kill her, as long as he's alive and well. one day, he'll be happy again. one day he's going to start a family.....

she sobbed louder in his embrace. she cant continue torturing herself. she had to go as soon as possible. when he's not there to stop her. right now, she'll stay. one more memory for her to keep. but then she's leaving. 'maybe tomorrow. this would be my goodbye.' then she kissed him, with all the love in her heart.

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benjamin sat beside sam on the bed as she watched her sleep. he was glad that christopher agreed to let her stay with him. they both came to the conclusion that the only way she wont do the same stupid thing is if she was under benjamin's care.

he clasped her hand, noticing the steady rhythm of her heart. she had been out of the hospital for a day now, but she is still so weak that all she do was sleep. benjamin didnt mind, as long as he was there to watch over her.

his thoughts came to the time when she her being attacked by some goons at the train station. he almost died when he wasnt able to come early enough to stop them from stabbing her. he was so angry and scared that he almost beat the men to their death, and he almost regretted it when the cops came to stop him.

he smiled. until now, he couldnt believe how much sam had changed him. before her, he thought his heart wes already dead. having witnessed the brutal murder of his family and being forced to be one with the same people who had committed these acts would have rid him of all his emotions. before her, he didnt mind. he liked living in solitude, not caring for others, not being able to feel anything, specially love. then she saw her, kneeling in front of an altar in a chapel inside a hospital. he didnt know why, but he stood there, transfixed. he wanted to replace the tears on her face with a smile. then as if he had thought a punishable thought, he hastily turned away, walking as fast as he can in the opposite direction, hoping to rid himself of an image that seemed to have been engraved in his mind.

she bumped into him the next day, almost at the same place he was standing at when he first saw her. he didnt know why he came back, his feet just dragged him back to the place without even thinking. that was when he first heard her voice. she looked at him with her tear stained face, smiling softly, and said sorry. then his eyes caught hers and he felt his heart skip a beat. he didnt know what has gotten into him, and because of the confusion running through him, he simply walked away, without a word, without a second glance.

he never thought he'd see her again, though her face and voice constantly plagued his dreams. but fate had its surprises, and what he thought would never happen again, happened, much to his happiness and chagrin. she was happily talking to someone else on her phone walking along the sidewalk when he saw her. he felt his heart lighten as he continued to stare at her. then at the corner of his eye, he saw something that made him catch his breath. an out of control car was headed directly at her. he saved her, more of an instinct that anything else, although he didnt know what had gotten into him for he hadnt care for anyone else before.

she was in his arms, right after he saved her from the cruel car. she was smiling sweetly, blush on her cheeks, whispering her thanks and apology for not noticing the car. he suddenly felt the urge to kiss her, and he did. it was bliss.

he didnt know how it started, but they started seeing each other. he didnt mind though, he liked being with her. he was quite surprised that she didnt seem to care that all he does was stare at her. he hardly talked, it was mostly her who does the talking. it doesnt seem that she minds, for everytime he asked her to meet him, she would very enthusiastically say yes.

that's when he knew he was falling in love - they were falling in love. he was very ecstatic when she said those words to him. he may not be able to show his feelings, or put them into words, it seems that she was able to feel them still. and that, until now, continues to amaze him. nothing else matters as long as they are together. it doesnt even matter if its a sin for him to love her. as long as she was with him, damn the consequences!

he was pulled out from his thoughts when he felt her stir. he smiled again, as she blinked, trying to get rid of her sleepiness. she looked so cute when she was trying to wake up like that. he wanted to wake up every morning with her beside him.

"good morning." she said, sweetly. she frowned when she saw dark circles around his eyes. "you havent been taking care of yourself." she stated.

"your fault." he said pouting, catching them both off guard. he was never comfortable of showing his feelings, but now, its almost as if it came naturally,

suddenly, sam laughed, her sleepiness finally gone. "you look so cute!" she exclaimed pinching his cheeks. "do it again!"

he smirked. "not funny."

she laughed again. she was laughing so hard that her stitches are starting to hurt. "ouch!" she cried, still giggling a bit, clutching her stomach.

his smirk was instantly replaced with concern. he hugged her to him. "dont ever do that again." he whispered into her ears.

she smiled sadly, forcing her tears not to fall. yes, she felt guilty for making them all worry, but she had to do it. and being with him now still doesnt change that fact. but she needed to rest, she is not yet fit to go now. a little voice in her head says that she's just making excuses but she pushed them back. she's still leaving, she argued, but a few more days with him would hurt, right?

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she was staring at him, staring at him, hard. ciara stood by her table at her office, hand on her hips, clearly not liking the smirk on eli's face. "that's really not funny, you know." she said, almost shouted at him, edgily.

he laughed at this, making her glare at him. he was so amused by his fiance that though he knew he had to stop laughing if he knew what was best for him, he cant. maybe he hadnt communicated his thought to her that clearly. he laughed harder as he recalled what he had just said to her. no wonder she was acting this way!

they were talking about something that had been plaguing his mind since he had proposed to her - kids. he wanted to say that he was so happy that she would be the one to bear his kids that he wouldnt mind a dozen of them, but somehow, it didnt go out that way, he seemed to emphasize the dozen - not the happy part.

he hugged her, still laughing. "i'm sorry. i didnt mean it that way. i was just so happy that you agreed to marry me and that someday we'll gonna start a family together." he felt her relax at her words. "i didnt mean the dozen, a couple will do, as long as its with you."

she sighed, gratefully. no way can she bear that many kids! not that she mind, its just that it doesnt seem that that'll be physically possible. "good. or else, i'll only carry the have the first four, you carry the rest on your tummy for nine whole months, with morning sickness and swollen ankles to boot."

he laughed, again. they stayed like that, the world disappeaing around them. they were happy and content in each other's arms that it almost hurt them to think that they had almost given up.

the peace was rudely interrupted by a knock at the door. they smiled sheepishly at each other as they fixed themselves. the door opened, to reveal the person on the other side. eli looked at ciara when he heard her gasp, look of pure surprise on her face. the stranger might have read the confusion on his face due to the smile pn his face.

"long time no see, kiddo. hey, where's my hug? is that how you're gonna greet your long lost brother, huh, sis?"

now its eli turn to gape.

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"hurry up angel! the plane's not gonna wait even for royalty, you know!"

ashley rolled her eyes, as she grudgingly went out the front door of her house, stiffling a yawn. ver since she and zach 'officially' got together, he'd been complimenting and teasing her non-stop. she doesnt mind the compliments, though, its the teasing that is getting on her nerves, most of the time. 'sheesh, i guess some things never change.' she sighed.

she hit him as she entered the car door he had opened for her, and closed it after her. she glared at him as he laughed, walking to the other side of the car, and settling himself at the driver's seat. "you're impossible, you know that?"

"you still love me though." he said, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. "i love you too."

she blushed, looking away from his twinkling eyes. until now, she still hadnt quite gotten used to him telling her his feelings. "getting arrogant, i see." she managed to say.

"aww. dont be mad, i said i love you too." he said, lighlty touching her cheeks.

she hit him again as her blush deepened. "just shot up and drive."

he chuckled as he started the car. they drove to the airport in silence, a soft smile playing on their faces.

she sighed. she was quite apprehensive about this trip, and until now, she cant say that the anxiety is gone. there is something about this outing that kept her on her toes. maybe its the fact that zach hadnt said anything about it other than it would be great. maybe its because she's leaving her bestfriend behind. or maybe she's just overreacting.

she frowned as she remembered how 'persuasive' zach had been in convincing her to come with him. he literally wouldnt take no for an answer. he would kiss her, or tickle her or compliment her in various ways everytime she come close in saying the word, and wouldnt stop until she said yes. ashley frowned. he seems really excited about the outing, he practically jumped on the sofa tom cruise style when she finally said yes. 'he's so weird sometimes. sam's right. he's really a handful.' she mused.

"anything wrong?" he asked, as he watch her at the corner of his eyes. her smile returned when she clutched her hand. "dont worry about sam. she'll be alright as long as benjamin is with her."

she smiled at that. maybe she should give this trip a chance. it'll be great, as long as he's with her. "i love you, you know?" she said. he just smiled in response, squeezing her hand.

-------

"you havent told me that they're coming along, too!" ashley exclaimed. she was actually looking forward to some alone time with zach, despite her misgivings. but as she looked at the grinning faces of christopher and kaye in front of her, she doubt if that'll be possible.

"dont be mad." zach said, pinching her nose. "they're in for your surprise."

"yeah!" christopher said. "its gonna be great!" he added, giving her a wink.

she rolled her eyes. something tells her this trip is going to be anything but great.

-------

it was in every woman's dream to have a man who was willing to fight for her, to tell the world that he loved her and only her. it was in every girl's faantasy to be sweeped off her feet by a knight in shining armor, saving her from the clutches of an evil, wicked witch. some would have been lucky to have a man somewhere as close as to this hopeful wishing, but most had to settle for just someone to love. not many are lucky to live a dream fantasy, not many.

and here she is, having a man, who by mere sight can knock any woman senseless. here, she belongs to someone who loves her as much as she does, if not more so. here, she has a man, who not only stayed true to her through the long years they had stayed away from each other, but is also willing to risk losing everything just to be with her. she is living a dream, and yet, she was running away from him.

here she is, standing in front of the house that had been her home for more than a month. hers and his. mischa and craig's. here she is in front of the house where she had been happiest and saddest. so many fond memories had stayed with her through this whole ordeal of living with him. tears run down her eyes as she began to realize just what exactly she is letting go. her grip on her bags tightened. she would NOT be swayed. she HAD to go.

she had stayed with him for more than a week since her last attempt of escape. she was not able to leave as soon as she wanted to, partly because craig had been looking out to her like a hawk and partly because she didnt really want to go. she kept on making herself excuses as to why she could not leave that day, that very instant, and convincing herself that she would leave the next day. the tomorrows had been endless and it would have continued if not for a letter she had received earlier that day.

she woke up that morning more elated than she usually is. she dont know why but she had the feeling it would be a great day. the sun was brightly pouring from the windows and the peaceful chirps of the birds can be heard clearly from her position at craig's bed. she leaned closer to his side of the bed. she could still smell his scent from his pillows and a smile crept up to her face.

harsh knocking forced her out of her thoughts and she hastily woke up to put on her bathrobe. clearly it was not craig for he never forgets his key. she frowned, looking at the clock. who would visit them at this early in the morning?

she felt her frustration when she saw no one at the door but it was instantly replaced by fear when she found a note by the doorstep. the note was simple, made of letters cut from magazines. it contained a single line but scared her to wits end.

YOU'RE TIME IS RUNNING OUT.

she knew who would send such a thing, and that was the kick she needed to leave him completely. she knew she was pushing by staying. if she stayed any longer, her fears would become her reality. it was fortunate that craig had seemed to loosen his grip a bit on her, and that allowed her an opportunity to fulfill her plans.

"mischa." she quickly spun around, fear enveloping her, thinking that craig had caught her. but her fear quickly turned into anger as she realized who is in front of her.

"john mark." she hissed, glaring at him. "i told you never to bother me again."

he had this haughty look in his face is if to tell her 'i told you so' which made her narrow her eyes even more at the man. she didnt need this right now. everything is too much as it is!

she turned from him, intending to walk away in the other direction, her hands gripping her bags tightly to control herself from flunging it across his face. but she has not moved a few steps when he felt her grasp at her shoulder preventing her from moving forward. the sudden movement caught her in surprise and the next thing she knew, he had his lips onto hers, kissing her hungrily.

she tried to pull away, but found that he was much stronger than her. angry tears started to fall from her eyes as she fought him, hitting and scratching him as much as she could.

then as suddenly as it had come, he had been yanked away from her, causing her to stumble backwards and fell on her back. her eyes widened in shock as she saw craig's back in front of her, his hands clenching and unclenching, glaring at the other man, on the ground who is glaring at him and wiping away the blood from his mouth which was apparently from the former's rage. he was about to hit john mark again when he stood up but mischa was suddenly in the middle of them, stopping whatever what was going to happen. she glared at both of them before speaking. "stop it!"

"get out of the way." craig snarled, his eyes never leaving the man behind her. "i will deal with you later."

when john mark was about to retort, mischa intervened. "no! you will not do anything more stupid! you will not deal with me later for later i am gone! i'm going with him!"

craig reeled at her words. his gaze left the smirking man and looked at her with all the anger inside of him. 'not this again!' he thought. "what did you say?"

she wanted to cringe at his gaze but she forced herself to look back at him with as much defiance she could muster. "you heard me. i'm leaving! i'm leaving you! i'm leaving this hell of a place never to be seen by you and your kind again!"

she wanted to cry when the anger on his eyes turned from anger to hurt to desperation to pure hatred in a heartbeat. she chocked when she realized that maybe she had gone too far but she had to do what she had to. though she knew that her heart was breaking every second that went by.

"is this all a game to you?" craig said quietly, with every word laced with his new found hatred. with this, she could no longer control her tears, which now freely flows from her face but her gaze never wavered from him. "you promised me over and over again that you would never leave me, and every time you break it. do you think it is feels good for you to mess with me like this? i've given up everything for you, and you go to HIM?!"

at that she laughed bitterly. "and what about your promises, huh? you said you love me but you left me alone for three whole fuckin years?! you told me once you come back, you will sweep me off my feet and everything is going to be alright! you promised me that you will do anything for me and that no one will take you away from me! you promised that i'll never have to cry again once i'm with you! but you broke your promise! every single one of them and i cried three times more than i ever did before you came waltzing into my life! i cant stand it anymore! you even promised me you'll clear this whole mess up but now time is running up and you hadnt done anything! that's why i'm leaving! i can never live with anybody who had not enough guts to fight for me!" at that she turned her back from him and when to john mark who was silent up to this point. he took his arm and practically dragged him away from him, away from his place, away from all this misery.

truth be told, what she said wasnt true. she knew he was fighting for her, fighting for her to the point of stupidity. he had to learn to give up, one of the things that doesnt seem to belong in his vocabulary. but she knew the meaning of it and now was the time to let go. there's too much at stake to hold on.

he didnt run after her and her heart broke once again. craig must be really mad at her now. he would never forgive her. at least, she thought, now, he'll be able to forget her.. the thought brought forth new tears from her eyes.

but as she turned on the corner, she heard him speak, so softly that as if it was the wind that whispered to her, "mischa, i love you. and if being away from me will make you happy, if he can make you happy much more than i could, i'm letting you go. but you're taking my heart with you." it may not be possible, but her hear broke for the third time that day. his words had crushed it so much that she could feel it falling from her, piece by piece, on the ground. so much pain, that darkness started to envelope her.



CHAPTER NINE: HAUNTED PAST

"its MY wedding, for goodness sake! the BEST day of MY life! and my bestfriends, who I have known all my life, and knows how IMPORTANT this is for me, decides not to come just because their EXs are going to be there?! is this some joke coz it certainly is NOT funny!"

sam, ashley and mischa looked at each other in shame and fear, then looked down on their floor, tongue tied. ciara is glaring at each of them in turn, while pacing around the room, her anger radiating from her and the other three gulped in fear - fear that their bestfriend will never speak to them again if they are to pursue their plan and fear of what, or rather who, they had to face if ever they go against it.

"i've been waiting for TWO whole years for this day to come, two whole fuckin' years! and the only reason why it took that long is because i wanted to give you guys time! time for you to move on and work things out. but after everything i've been through, all the sacrifices i did, first losing you and waiting for you, you still decided not to come?! i thought you were my friends?!"

ciara took a deep breath to calm herself, her gaze softening at the women in front of her. she understands what they were going through, but she cant help but be selfish at this point. its been two years, and she missed having her genki bestfriends that are always beside her. sure, eli is a great companion but he could be a handful at times, especially during a specific time of the month when he never really learned to stay away from her.

"look. i understand what you are going through. but its been a long time. maybe its time for you face them. maybe facing each other will help you all to move on." she kneeled in front of them, looking at each of them pleadingly. "if you wont do it for yourselves, please do it for me. i had been waiting for so long for this day to happen. i'm so glad it pushed through in the first place, with what's been going on and stuff." the tinge of guilt again. "and i want all of you to share it with me. it wont be complete without you." she looked down at her hands, hoping against hope that they wouldnt find her request to be awfully demanding.

the three in question looked again at each other and sighed in defeat. they would want to ruin this for their bestfriend. they hugged the girl in front of them, indicating their acceptance, while the other girl laughed in mirth, happy that all her wishes are coming through.

"i love you guys! thanks so much! i really appreciate it!" ciara gushed, hugging them back.

'at least she is happy.' mischa, ashley and ciara thought.

-------

"so they are really going to come?" zach asked in disbelief, looking at eli suspiciously.

"yep!" eli replied happily as he fixed his tie, oblivious to the questioning gaze of the three men with him. "ciara just called to confirm it." he had been quite ecstatic to hear that his fiance's bestfriends decided to come to their wedding for he knows that they are the only ones who could make it more special for his beloved. besides, he missed those girls, as loud and crazy as they may be. he can admit that life had been quite boring when the 'partners in crime,' as he would like to dub the quartet, had split up and gone into hiding. fortunately for him, they left ciara behind.

"did she tell where they had been all these time?" benjamin asked, flatly, which made eli look over his shoulder through the mirror at the three men, frowning. sure, since sam disappeared, benjamin became more subdued and he's always gone, even weeks at a time. so him joining in on their conversation simply shows just how anxious he is on the prospect of seeing sam again despite his nonchalant voice.

since mischa, sam and ashley disappeared - for reasons that is still a mystery to him - he had taken the unspoken duty to keep an eye on the boys they had left behind. he knows that whatever may had happened between them, the girls still cares for their men, a fact that ciara never fails to affirm at times they had ventured on the topic. he kept a close eye on each of them as he could, seeing that they could kill themselves in alcohol or any other means after drinking a whole tankard in one seating and watched the transformation that they had undergone and he wasnt quite sure if he welcomed it or not. benjamin became more quiet, always brooding in one corner and almost never talks. he thinks that the only reason why he still hangs with them is because he may hear from his beloved sam through them. zach had been quite a ladies man. always flirting but never really gotten too close to a woman, emotionally and physically. everytime he spots a girl he likes, he goes and gets her, letting nothing stand in his way, even a boyfriend, a fiance or a husband. its as if he never really cares of the relationships he destroys. but all his relationships had been at arms length and lasted at most a week.

and craig, well craig is a different story. if anyone could sulk better than benjamin, it is craig. he had finally relented on his family's desire to let jane be his girlfriend/fiance. but he hadnt made an effort as well. the proposal and all the arrangements is being taken care of by jane and his family and all he had to do is show up in his wedding day and say i do. he didnt seem to care that jane is permanently latched on to his arm, but he never smiled either. he had stopped smiling eversince mischa walked out of his life and almost always had a drink in his hands.

"sorry." eli said, shrugging, returning to his tie. "she didnt. wouldnt tell me either." he said sighing. he wished he could do something for his friends. but he couldnt. or ciara would kill him. he turned to look at them, looking at each of them pointedly. "please dont kill each other during my wedding. i want it to be perfect for ciara. you could take a go at each other's throats after we had gone to our honeymoon, but not before."

"who said we'd want to kill them?" zach asked, turning on the tv and flipping through it. the only indication of his inner turmoil is the constant flicking of his free hand.

eli half smiled and half smirked. "you'd probably want to tackle them to the ground and kiss them senseless." he chuckled, while slipping out of the room, ignoring the glares that he had been receiving. he might feel sorry for them, but they still make good entertainment.

-------

"are you sure we're doing the right thing?" ciara asked, as eli gently muzzled her neck. with this he stopped his minstrations to look at her frowning. she continued, "i mean, they're my bestfriends and even though its been years, they're still hurt and vulnerable. the last thing i wanted is for them to hide from me, too."

he smiled at her then kissed her gently on her lips. "we had to help them. they cannot go on living like this. its been two years, and yet they're still miserable without each other. they STILL love each other. as much as i hate to say it, i've rather grown fond of the three stupids. i would really like to see them happy again."

ciara smiled sadly. "i know. i feel the same way about the girls. but -"

"i'm sure that whatever happened between them, it had all been a crazy misunderstanding." he cut in, knowing full well what ciara was thinking. he had no doubt that the guys had done something that made the girls run away, though they had never really opened up to him. they're current state just proves that whatever they did, it wasnt intentional. "it'll all work out in the end. trust me."

"i do." she sighed. "i just dont want them to get hurt much more than they're hurting now."