Here I Sit Upon The Floor

Here I sit upon the floor...
No heat to keep my body warm.
Desperation close at hand
Gulping fear I try to stand.

Cannot think too clearly now,
I feel the wall beneath my palm
Wondering when, why, and how?
A wash of chill and then the calm.

I gaze with clouded eye beyond,
The window to the brilliant sky.
A sigh escapes my white flecked lips
Chest heavy with the want to cry.

I shake my head
Ooh my fuddled brain
I squint my tear brimmed eyes.
How did I get to the floor again?

Sleep sounds good, a little rest.
Head thrown back, one deep breath,
No I can't, this..this is wrong
But the call to sleep so very strong.

Thrumming heart sounds fill my ears
Cold wood floor beneath my cheek.
Short shallow breaths and salty tears
I never thought I'd be so weak

Of body of soul and mind
What was it then? Remember now..
What am I trying so hard to find?
No, not this way, this can't be how..

One arm forward, the other knee
Strangled sobs fill the air
No this cannot be!
But when is life ever fair.

Inching forward ever so slow
Do I still have time?
I don't want to go
I've changed my mind