Humorous Chaucer style tale written in iambic pentameter. |
When I was just a girl, dark haired and sweet I worked in a butcher shop cutting meat There was a boy who caught my attention I would stare at him from the meat kitchen He was tall and strong and had hair of gold His walk and his talk and manner were bold He lured me right in with his deep, blue eyes When ordering meals of liver and fries I could barely breathe at the register When I felt a tap, "Oh God, not Lester!" The boy to whom I was sadly betrothed And true to my luck, the one whom I loathed I turned around and thus began to yell, "Lester, how could you, you horrible snail!" "I'm trying to talk to the boy I love." "Make him go away!"I prayed to God above I went to give him the whack of his life When I fell upon the meat cutting knife My finger fell to the floor with a thud The handsome boy ran away in disgust So I lost the love of my sweet young life No boy in the land will make me his wife Don't let a mere boy distract you from work With a hazard like that, danger will lurk Just look at me, I lost a good finger Scars on my hand and my heart still linger Don't ever make a mistake like I made Stick to your mother and a dull meat blade Boys will bring upon you terrible harm Not even the cute ones have THAT much charm |