Love is Just a Game

It has always been said, "Love is just a game." For all intents and purposes the word "just" is unnecessary. Love is a game.
I see love as chess. The freeze-frame image in my mind is in the middle of a game. There are pieces off of the board, strewn to the side because their space has been conquered. These are past relationships, failed relationships, things in your past that you've forgotten because there is no way to resuscitate them now. There are many blank spaces on the board. These are the holes in your love life, your moments of loneliness and misery. And all the figurines are moved from their original spaces, they are in enemy territory, they could be attacked from any direction at any moment. This is your love life; you're no longer where you feel safe. You've moved into the world of dating and relationships, and you may end up being successful. Or someone could steal you away.
In chess it is most important protect your king; your heart. When your king is danger of being taken, you're in danger of falling in love. The term in chess is "check." "Check" in love's world could be all kinds of things. It's a person telling you they love you, it's moving in with someone, it's getting a ring from someone, not necessarily meant for the fourth finger on your left hand. But "check" doesn't really exist. There is no one telling you are in danger of giving up your most prized possession. "Check" is called so for a reason, it means your love life is still in check. When your opponent says "check," your king is in danger, but there is a way out. There is always a way out in "check." You can tell someone you don't love them back, you can move out, you can realize that you don't want this ring, or any other ring for that matter. "Check" is frightening, but it's still in the safe zone.
The most dreaded term of all in chess is "checkmate." This is it, your king is no longer safe, there is no way out. You've been overcome. And in chess, "checkmate" ends the game; this is when the game of love ends. When your king has been taken, so then has your heart, and thus you are in love. And it's not the "check" kind of love where you can still get out. This is the real deal; this is the butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of love. This is fourth finger on your left hand kind of love. This is real love and it's all over. The game is over, no more dating, or moving out; it's time to move in and that's that.
But when your king has been taken and you have fallen in love and you're preparing to get married and live happily ever after, a new game of chess begins. This game is more serious; this is the chess championship. You can't lose this game because this time, the end means the end of your marriage. Chess now becomes a battlefield where you will fight until you've lost all your men and your king stands unprotected but you will continue fight. Marriage is when you want to stay in "check" forever. There will be anger, the loss of pawns. There will be fighting, the loss of knights. There will be the desire to get out, the loss of the queen. But in the end, it will be your king against your opponent's, standing on the naked chessboard.
The irony is that love is a game and in games there are always winners and always losers. But who, in love, wins and loses? There are countless answers. Perhaps the winners are those who get married; the losers are the ones who lost their chance with the one they truly loved. Or the winners are those who stay married; the losers are the divorcés. Maybe the winners are the ones who seem like they are always in love; the losers are the ones who fight in public. But in comparison to chess, the winners and losers are clear.
The winners are those who keep playing the game. They may have suffered defeat this time, but they insist on a rematch. They may have lost all their pieces but they keep playing with their king until the game is over. The winners aren't necessarily those who play in the chess championship, those who get married. But they are the ones who keep playing, who keep dating with the knowledge that there is someone out there ready to play in the championship with them. These are the real winners. And the losers, in chess and in love, are the ones who give up. They are the ones who lose once and are ready to throw in the towel. Their king gets stolen and instead of moving up to the winner's circle, it's strewn aside and they are left in the dust, and instead of getting up to play again, they lie, abandoned and useless. They truly lose, but those who rise and keep fighting, they win, they've already won!
This is the beauty of the idea that "Love is just a game." There are winners and losers but you choose which you will be.