Life and Love After Abusive Relationship

This story will be dedicated to women who have been in or are still in an abusive relationship. First of all let me say that if anyone is in an abusive relationship no one knows how that person feels unless they have been in their shoes. Well I have. According to some people if you were raised in an abusive atmosphere then you will more than likely end up in one. Well as for me that wasn't the case. My dad was one of the best dad's ever. It all started for me when I had just gotten out of High School. Most of my friends had a steady boyfriend or was engaged. I think peer pressure is a big factor sometimes. I hadn't really dated that much and well Me being raised in a strict Christian home became part of my downfall. Don't get me wrong I had some wonderful parents, it was just the fact that my parents and I never sat down to talk about the so called birds and bees. In fact I was very dumb about the way things were suppose to be. I think this also has a big part when a woman is in a bad relationship she doesn't realize this is NOT the way it is suppose to be. It is important to realize that many factors play a part on how we deal with things that come up in our lives and sometimes we don't understand how we got to where we are. I think my problem started at the age of sixteen. I was date rapped and there was nothing about that then no one to turn to you just deal with it. I felt so awful and never told anyone about that. One of the major signs of an abusive man is extreme jealously, this plays a big part in the way we handle things. My ex was very jealous at the time I thought is was great to have a man be jealous of me that meant he really cared about me. I was wrong. I guess the best way to tell this story is in parts and explain what my thoughts are and how it affected me and my judgement. Most of the time at least in my case he was jealous because he was a cheater and figured I would be just like the women he cheated on me with. I found this out after it was too late. I was always afraid of men to some extent after the date rape and well I knew nothing about how a sexual relationship was suppose to be. I only know that I was afraid. The first time he hit me was while we were dating and I wouldn't let him have sex with me. He slapped my face and then began his story of I am so sorry. This is a big stop sign. If a man will hit you one time then he Will hit you again...No matter what you think it will happen again. It is one of the worse feelings to be controled. Telling some one how to dress, what to wear is only part of it. I want to add that another thing that is a bad idea working together with you spouse. This is simply another way to gain control and power over you. I can't sit here and count all of the good jobs I have lost because of my ex. I am paying for that now by being retired and not drawing what I could have. All the years that I was married to this man cost me more in the long run than I could have imagined.