Ancient Mariner

Part 1 -

Today was an eventful day. As soon as the crew and I set sail, we were hit with a storm that carried us all the way to an icy hell which might have been Antarctica. The crew was naturally nervous because we might have all starved or frozen to death. A seabird called an albatross started circling the ship. The men thought it was a good omen, but I was sure it wanted to pick the meat from my carcass. Luckily, the helmsman brought us through the frozen mess. With the albatross still following us, I wasn't ready to celebrate yet. Just to be safe, I pulled out my trusty crossbow and squeezed off a bolt into that smug sea-vulture.

Part 2 -

At first, everyone was upset about the untimely death of the albatross. They claimed it had caused the wind to blow that in turn pushed the boat to safety. I didn't bother asking them where they came to that conclusion. They were not scientists. Then the fog cleared up and eso veryone assumed the bird had been causing the mist too and so praised me for killing the bird. It had been the villainous fog-bird of legend, I told them. Then the wind let up altogether and we just sat there for what seemed like forever. I remember cursing all the little slimy crawly things in the sea, though I dont remember why. I was just dehydrated. Anyhow, I look down and I have the albatross draped around my neck like a makeshift scarf. Weird, huh? It was a little gaudy, but it drew more than a few glances.

Part 3 -

Then passed a "weary time". This is what we men of the sea call long periods of just staring at each other with "weary eyes". We don't really talk to one another during these periods. I've never even formally met any of the crewmen. They just call me "The Strange Man With The Crossbow". A ship approaches, and we were all pretty drunk, so we weren't wondering how a ship was approaching on totally calm seas. Like a bunch of idiots we jump up hopefully to greet them. When the vessel got alongside us, we saw that it was only Death, that infamous rascal, playing dice with the lesser-known avatar "The Nightmare Life-in-Death". But she really taught Death a lesson in "rolling bones". Death apparently got the crewmen and Life-in-Death got me. I watched their souls shoot off like fireworks. It was beautiful.

Part 4 -

Then it was just me and the slimy crawly things. And the wide, accusing eyes of the dead crewmen. It was gross. I wanted a shower. But you know, I just sat around for like seven days doing nothing. The men were equally lazy, being involved in a long instance of "weary time". They all got to die and I just had to sit there. It wasn't fair. In between suicide attempts, I had time to think about the events of the last couple weeks. What a pickle I had found myself in! It was probably somehow related to the stars. Everything is, nowadays. By the time the ship came by to pick me up, I was admittedly a little delusional. At the sight of my saviors, I blessed all the slimy crawly things in the ocean. Then I dropped my scarf.