A free flowing poem reflecting a girls thoughts of her life |
7pm It's time to do it. Nobody's home. The note is written. The stuff is at hand. How should I do it? The gun? The pills? The knife? The rope? How should I do it? Well, how much pain do I want? None? A lot? Some? Not much? This is a hard decision. Not the gun or the knife. Those are too messy. I have no where to hang the rope. Pills. They're pain pills. Funny, they're made to prevent pain. I'm gonna use them to cause pain. I have the water. Ten pills should do it. I'm so afriad. Why am I doing this?! Oh, yeah. I'm doing it to get back at them. They try too hard to control me. Well, here goes nothing. Actually, everything. What will Jon think? What are my friends gonna say? Stop it! I have to do it. I'll never get out otherwise. Of course, I could always tell them... No! I told them in the note. Cod, I'm shaking. I'm pale. I'm scared. One pill. Two pills Three pills. Seven more. I can do it. Four. Five. Six. I'm getting dizzy. There's the car door! Seven. Gasp! Eight. "Lucinda, we're home." Nine. "Oh, God, what are you doing?!" Ten. 'I had a headache.' "Are you sure you're all right?" 'Yes, I'm sure.' I can't tell her the truth. I'll have to hide the note. "What's Daddy's gun doing in here?" Uh-oh. "And a knife, and rope?!" She must have figured it out. "Well!" 'I don't know.' They were my possible suicide weapons. "How many did you take?" 'Two.' Ten. "Are you sure?" 'Yes.' No. "Okay." 'I'm going to bed.' I'm going to die. "Come downstairs." "I have a suprise." Woopie... It's probably a new table or something. *Bark! Bark!* "A puppy." 'A puppy!' A puppy!!! He's so cute. And soft. And... Oh, yeah. 'Ten.' "What?" 'Ten pills.' "What!" 'I wanted to die.' "Lets get you to a hospital." Don't let it be too late! *Whine, whine* She's hugging me. Don't cry. "It's okay to cry baby." Don't cry. Don't... Oh well. 'I'm scared.' I'm terrified! They'll probably pump my stomach. Oh, God!... "I love you baby." "You know that right?" 'Yes.' I do now. |